How I walked in the costume. A story of coincidences.

The epigraph.
“Two captains will sink a ship.”

So it turned out that my father has almost a square figure. My mother is natural. As a result, my figure, especially in my youth, resembled and now resembles the big letter "T". Oh, and I struggled in my time in search of strict costumes suitable for my figure! Because if you take the size of the suit on the jacket, the pants will rinse on the wind like sailing. If you take on the pants - the jacket simply breaks in the shoulders. While I was a high school student, my mom wasn’t frightened – she just took me a school suit the size of my jacket. And the trousers were immediately given to a relative who was a professional caretaker.

Once, while I was still living in Peter, I had another challenge to buy a new suit - I was invited to the wedding as a witness. It looked like shops. The cloud. And then I was told that in our business center, on the next floor from my IP, a sewing shop for the sewing of "Italian" costumes opened. They sell these costumes. Both in wholesale and retail. There was nowhere to go, the deadline was pushed - I decided to go.

It was very decent quality. Despite the modest scale of production and the obvious discrepancy of the brand location. In one room - a sewing shop, in which several women-porters worked. In another, larger storage store. At the entrance sits a shy guard and tries to "revive" the pre-submarine television, energetically giving the shy unit cracks and ticks.

Two women were in charge of the whole process. As far as I understood, they were unable to separate spheres of influence and responsibility and both ruled everything at the same time. One was quieter and more explicit. The other was always in a light state of agitation. And almost - I immediately went on to scream... But the price was suitable for me, and the time was in scratch.

I decided to negotiate with a quieter boss. Explain the purpose of the task. She answered:
Yes without problem. You, the main thing, put away separately those pants and jackets that you will not fit from the "divided" sets. And we will give the team in the shop - and the girls will fill the missing. But, in general, we have good quality - something must fit.

I picked up a great set of characteristics. The chosen jacket, as always, was two sizes larger than the pants, who would be surprised... The joyful went to pay. Hearing our conversation with a quiet commander, to the "complex" I abandoned, another buyer from our same business center immediately stumbled with interest - a pear-shaped elderly man, with very narrow shoulders and a wide, sorry, pop.

I had time to pay for it, and suddenly a loud and whispering voice from a more nervous commander came to me:
The Mighty A! Have a conscience! Where can we find such a mutant on these remains? With such narrow shoulders and so thick, sing!? to
The more calm partner just had time to breathe out:
and galia!!...

The peach-like man stopped and, covered with bad red spots, angrily said:
What is “Mutant”?! to
Then he turned and went out offended. Only at this moment the screaming boss noticed the “pearl-like”. There was inconvenience.

Here, finally, the guard was able to give a successful "spark" to the old television, and he, for a short time, issued to the full volume of his whispering speakers an epic phrase from the TV advertisement:
“Sometimes it is better to chew than to talk.” After the death finally...