Swedes and buses.

The Soviet Union at the end of the 1980s. Restructuring and publicity are moving across the country, the Party and the government have allowed enterprises to conduct independent foreign economic activities.

I, a young specialist, work at one of the machinery factories, and we were attended by Western delegations with proposals for cooperation.

Our factory was large, and its passenger fleet consisted mostly of the “red” Ikarus, who doesn’t remember – large 40-45-seat buses with soft seats. At the time, in the cities of the USSR in general, there were very many "Ikarus": "yellow" used on urban routes, and "red" - excursion or interurban. And if the yellow "Ikarus" were somehow different from each other - single, "harmony" - then the red were all like twins-brothers.
In our factory, the red "Ikarus" in the amount of about a dozen were intended mainly for the exits of employees to the sub-chief farm "on the shelf", "seno", "kartoshka" and so on. And in the rest of the time, they were chased around the city as travelling cars, because Volg had nothing in the farm: the director, his couple and, of course, Partorg.

So, we receive another delegation from a solid Swedish firm in the number of two people. I am ordered to meet them in the hotel tomorrow morning and bring them to the factory. Transportation is of course factory. Our translator tells us:
"Listen, I met them today at Icarus, so they refused to get on the bus! They couldn’t understand why two people sent such a large transport. Elie convinced, almost pinks in the bus caught...
How do I deal with them tomorrow?
Don’t worry, they promised to give “Volga” tomorrow.

We have not cheated on Volga, and here we go to negotiate with the Swedes. Driving 20 minutes, they are men of company, fun, trembling about it. They can’t calm down:
- Yesterday my wife (one of them and his wife came) walked a long walk around your city, and then could return to the hotel on the bus! He is very proud of that! So I told her not to be too proud, and that I was also riding the city by bus!
In two minutes:
Why did you send us such a big bus? It’s fuel, ecology and everything else.
It must be said that environmental issues were already very relevant in Europe at that time, and the extent of our equipment’s impact on the environment was one of the important topics of the negotiations.
What I could answer:
Well, it’s logical: a big factory is a big bus!
“Okay, if so, we’ll get two buses tomorrow. They laugh. We are two!
Okay, two is two! I said the same with laughter.

The next morning no miracle happened: all our Volga were occupied and I was given Ikarus. We arrived at the hotel early, the driver stopped the bus right at the entrance, and I went inside waiting for the Swedes. They come down, we go out. And what I see: next to our "Ikarus" is parked the second one! Here, the main thing was to withstand the “dirty face”, but I managed! I turn to the Swedes and say this very seriously:
You asked for two buses, here are two buses. Who will go in which?

After I managed to catch the completely crazy and frightened Swedes in the hotel hall, I persuaded them for another ten minutes that it was just a joke and that the second bus just accidentally arrived!
We were a little late for the talks. :)

© EugeneSPB