I’ll tell you a stunning story about how I was operated on my eggs under local anesthesia. Sit more comfortably. The cause of the operation was such a thing as hydrocele. It may appear for various reasons, in my case the consequence of injury (no, I was not hit by a modest girl who, I tried to rape, just the bicycle Ukraine, I think, was invented for the purpose of genocide of male teenagers). The thing is quite harmless, life does not interfere, but doctors recommended to remove it because Godzhenka did not think so. I was going to do this for a long time, because the words "egg" and "operation" in one sentence did not cause iris images in me. I came to the hospital, there a very cute but strict nurse of Light (she could have been beautiful if she had not smiled) identified me in the chamber to three grandparents, who three had 2 legs and one diaper. The dinner was meant to be. 20 minutes later another grandfather came without a leg and so on. I didn’t fit into this Infinity Club, the Light asked me to leave. I was assigned to a new chamber where there was only one inhabitant - the one-legged Sergei Petrovich. "Some new mainstream theme with the legs...we need to grind," I thought.After getting to know Sergei Petrovich closer, I learned that diabetes is not a new topic and not very mainstream. As soon as I arranged, the Light came (do not smile), injected me with something and asked me to dress up. Since I had an old grandfather’s sense of humor, I smiled cleverly and asked, “Why am I, I’m going to dress alone, beautiful?” Light answered me in a serious tone, "You know we are going to cut your eggs now?" I didn’t joke with the light. On a catalytic, covered with a lump, I was transported to the operating room, where I went to the table. At the operating table, my hands were tied to the cross like Jesus Christ, and I began to suspect that I might be suffering here. Further, catheters, injections, local anesthesia, the nurse asked to say when it will hurt. For Ukraine, my soul has been sick for a long time, but she had nothing to do before. The doctor came, a couple of questions, such as: how is it? How do you feel? We start?

We start.

Part of the impressive.

* It needs to be explained. The excitement of this story was that there was a section here where I described the operation in detail, but when I read it over, I thought it wasn’t very interesting to read about how the surgeon twisted the scrotum and burned his initials on it. Unless you’re crazy and it’s not your scrotum. Therefore... *

After 20 minutes of suffering:

They brought me to the room and moved me to bed. Eggs do not hurt, the whole body hurts from knees to shoulders. I lie down, I cuddle. Not funny anymore. Thirty minutes passed and the anesthesia began to release, and then I felt the Torah Hammer on my eggs. There was a slight discomfort before. Asked Sergey Petrovich to call the Light. I couldn’t call, I was busy. I knew the universe through pain. The light came and asked her to anesthetize me. Light, a good soul, put the dimedrol point and left. did not help. I asked for another injection. The light said there is not so much. I asked her to do something at least, she said, “I can dress up, you seem like you were interested an hour ago).” “Fuck, it’s funny,” I thought when I opened another chakra and the third eye from which came the tears, in which were concentrated all the pain and suffering of the universe since the beginning of times. One hour later they brought me something to eat, but all I asked for that day was general anesthesia. The doctor came, said that there will be edema, which will go away in 7-10 days. About the edema he said, but about the fact that my eggs will be blue-green and will resemble New Year's balls, he did not say.