bezdna.su — the best quotes and jokes from the abyss!
Three Stories of Strippers
1) One old lady decided to clean the sludge in the dishwasher in the kitchen. by Finger.
My finger is stuck. It began to swell, to take back no more. My grandmother stood by the mouth.
Two days. There was no phone nearby, but there was plenty of water.
She found her son, came because her mother stopped answering the calls.
I immediately called an ambulance (although I could just twist the siphon, okay).
2) One middle-aged lady decided to get something from the shelf above the toilet.
She entered the throne with her legs, but slipped and with one leg fell straight into the "point", so that her leg was stuck dead.
To remove the leg immediately did not work - the edema was drunk... But here near there was a husband - he was just
He twisted the stool from the fasteners and broke it with a hammer. A wife is sorry.
But he broke so unsuccessfully that a sharp piece of faisan cut the wife's artery on her leg. The result is a fountain of blood.
But the woman was lucky, they arrived quickly. Even brought to consciousness.
A little boy pushed his finger into the salt. My finger is stuck there. Not here, not there, not there either.
The arrival of the brigade first proposed to break the salmon - but the parents for some reason were not pleased with this option.
Solonka, allegedly, was the prababy of the author of Faberge himself (stradivari drum, da-da).
When the parents were offered to amputate the finger, they seriously began to discuss this option.
As a result, with the help of the driver, some tool, sunflower oil and a strong word, the finger was able to get without damage (and the finger, and antique valuables). Parents didn’t even say thank you.
And the bonus:
In one family, a child succeeded in sucking an empty bag of mayonnaise to his lips. “Doo again,” they seem to be called.
The content was sucked out, a vacuum was created, and the lip was sucked dead. The whole family is jumping around, someone calls an ambulance, someone comforts, someone drinks valocordine...
By the time the brigade arrived, the lip looked like a large blue slime. The midwife looked at it all, took the scissors and cut off the bottom of the package. Which, of course, immediately decayed as soon as the vacuum disappeared. Why all these moms-papas-grandparents did not guess immediately to do so - a mystery of nature.
As a result, the bleeding of course remained, but it went without hospitalization.
1) One old lady decided to clean the sludge in the dishwasher in the kitchen. by Finger.
My finger is stuck. It began to swell, to take back no more. My grandmother stood by the mouth.
Two days. There was no phone nearby, but there was plenty of water.
She found her son, came because her mother stopped answering the calls.
I immediately called an ambulance (although I could just twist the siphon, okay).
2) One middle-aged lady decided to get something from the shelf above the toilet.
She entered the throne with her legs, but slipped and with one leg fell straight into the "point", so that her leg was stuck dead.
To remove the leg immediately did not work - the edema was drunk... But here near there was a husband - he was just
He twisted the stool from the fasteners and broke it with a hammer. A wife is sorry.
But he broke so unsuccessfully that a sharp piece of faisan cut the wife's artery on her leg. The result is a fountain of blood.
But the woman was lucky, they arrived quickly. Even brought to consciousness.
A little boy pushed his finger into the salt. My finger is stuck there. Not here, not there, not there either.
The arrival of the brigade first proposed to break the salmon - but the parents for some reason were not pleased with this option.
Solonka, allegedly, was the prababy of the author of Faberge himself (stradivari drum, da-da).
When the parents were offered to amputate the finger, they seriously began to discuss this option.
As a result, with the help of the driver, some tool, sunflower oil and a strong word, the finger was able to get without damage (and the finger, and antique valuables). Parents didn’t even say thank you.
And the bonus:
In one family, a child succeeded in sucking an empty bag of mayonnaise to his lips. “Doo again,” they seem to be called.
The content was sucked out, a vacuum was created, and the lip was sucked dead. The whole family is jumping around, someone calls an ambulance, someone comforts, someone drinks valocordine...
By the time the brigade arrived, the lip looked like a large blue slime. The midwife looked at it all, took the scissors and cut off the bottom of the package. Which, of course, immediately decayed as soon as the vacuum disappeared. Why all these moms-papas-grandparents did not guess immediately to do so - a mystery of nature.
As a result, the bleeding of course remained, but it went without hospitalization.