Surely every doctor will have a different fairy tale about a patient who does not know how to insert candles or use a cyst. Often such cases seem fictional and give a strong anecdote. However, this time everything is serious: doctors and nurses are real, their patients are too.



1st You constantly have to explain to people that there should be no metal on them during MRI. Nothing anywhere. “I’m doing dead feet. Why should I take off my eyebrows? Yes, because the magnet affects the whole room, not a single foot, and will tear your ears out of your ears. And there are also patients with cardiostimulants (they can not do MRI at all), who are angry when they are denied tomography. We just don’t want to kill you. by Sapphires13



2nd Yes, if you smoke at home, it can worsen your child’s asthma. by BruteSquad610



Three A familiar pediatrician told the patient not to give her daughter the name Chlamydia. The woman, as it turned out, did not know that this was the name of the pathogenic bacterium, and thought the word sounded beautiful. by mermaidbeer



4 is I heard a conversation in the hallway of the hospital between a nurse and a woman who had to undergo a colonoscopy that day. The nurse said, “Did you eat anything? The patient said, “No, only oatmeal.” The nurse said, “But you couldn’t have breakfast.” Patient: “I know, but I always eat oatmeal for breakfast.” The nurse: “I understand, but the doctor should look at your digestive system. Therefore, it is not possible to eat before a colonoscopy.” Patient: “But after all, oatmeal is good for digestion. I always have breakfast.” © Dangerous



5 is No, I can’t determine the race of your child by ultrasound. When he is born, then you will be looking for the supposed father. by sutherbb36



6 is Regular shower is important. Truth is important! I work as a physiotherapist. by muffaluffugus83



7 is There are children of sex. You’ll be shocked to find out how many patients with simple abdominal pain are actually pregnant. And if you ask them if there is a possibility of pregnancy, they will answer firmly, “No.” by Cycro



8 is Do not lick contact lenses to clean them. I am serious. by Chipgal



9 is Three different patients and three stories: 1. Do not have sex 6 hours after the birth of the baby. 2nd Coffee smoothies and mixture are different things, so you do not need to feed a newborn with cream. Three Probiotics and antibiotics are not the same, in addition, from syphilis, probiotics do not help. by Kaclassen



10 is I worked in a pharmacy for nine years. Every person who comes up with a prescription needs to be explained what and how to use. Pharmacists stop people from dropping antibiotics into their ears or eyes, eating dry powder, and introducing oral contraceptives directly into the vagina. © IDreamofLoki

11 is Every day I explain to patients that they can’t eat before the operation. And they always say something like, “And if I had eaten and then got into an accident, would you not have operated me? In such cases, doctors take risks and perform surgery, but why take risks where you can’t? © thenotsogeekplayer



12 is A guy came to me in the pharmacy with a prescription for a cyst. He asks, “So I drink all this, and then I’ll break? “I say no, because it’s a enema and it’s used rectally. The guy confused says, “So I don’t need to drink this? I explain that you need to lie on your side and insert the enema into the rectum, and then squeeze its content inside. The patient is upset, “Should I put it there? ! to Go you go! “And he leaves. by IbuBROfen



Thirteen No, if you are drinking soda during pregnancy, the “bubbles” will not reach your baby. But this is still a bad idea, because there is caffeine in the soda. And by the way, a hot bath for pregnant women is not recommended to take not because the baby can drown, but because of the high temperature. © JonSnoWight



14 is I have been working as a nurse in the nursing home for many years. One day I met a 20-year-old woman who had already started fighting. We waited for the doctor, and I told her to suck. She and her husband looked around and then asked me, “Why are you asking us to do this? Why do you need it? “I am in shock. She explained that it is necessary to struggle to have a child. They said, “Are you going to crack? Then the doctor came, and I was very happy to get rid of this strange couple. by jdinpjs



15 is If you suddenly found a navel, then this is not a reason to call an ambulance and seek help from doctors! stayathmdad



16 is People complain about poor vision. His astigmatism increased by 3 dioptries, which is very serious. Check again, the result is the same. Asked to come back in a week to do the test, - already 4 diopters. Everyone is nervous. The guy suddenly holds his head with his hands, and with his big fingers presses his eyes with all his strength. It turns out he does this every time he is stressed. And it does it so strongly that it damages the front of the eyeball. He was forbidden to do so. by up766570



17th This dialogue takes place approximately once a week. I: “Have you missed this medication? The patient said, “No, I didn’t miss it.” I: “How many times in the last week have you not taken this medication? Patient: “Three times, and today I forgot too.” © RepublicansRInbreds



18 is If you weigh 100 kg and jump from the 1st floor onto a large beach umbrella, then for nothing you will not jump up like on a trampoline: you will crash to the ground and break your limbs. And it won’t inspire your lady’s heart. by OkeyDoke47



19 is To insert the candle, you must first remove the packaging from it. © Underwriting