I recently attended a court hearing on an administrative offence. At the beginning of the proceedings, the judge establishes the identity of the person being prosecuted. This time it was a citizen of Kyrgyzstan, which is actually salt. C is the judge, P is the offender.

Q: Your education?

A: The normal...

Normal, what is it? Higher, Higher and Higher?

Q: I have finished school.

Q: Is your family situation? Please don’t say it’s normal.

A: It is heavy...

Q: Does that mean married?

It means solitary...