call by phone.
Hi to you! Is this “Pizza by Mario”?
No to sir. This is Google’s Pizza.
Did I get the wrong number?
No to sir. Google bought a pizza store from Mario.
Oh well well. I would like to order a pizza.
Okay sir. You as usual?
“As usual?” Do you know what is “normal”?
- According to our data, the last 15 times you have ordered 12 slices of pizza with double cheese, sausage and on a thick paste.
Am... Well yes. This is what I would like to order this time.
- Can I offer you this time to order 8 pieces of ricotta, rucola and tomatoes?
I hate vegetables.
You have high cholesterol.
How do you know?
We have your blood tests for the last 7 years.
“Maybe so, but I don’t want a pizza with vegetables. I am already taking medications for high cholesterol.
You are taking medication irregularly. 4 months ago you purchased from Drugsale Network a package containing only 30 tablets.
I bought more at another pharmacy.
This is not displayed on your credit card, sir.
I paid in cash.
But according to your bank statement, you did not withdraw that much money.
I have another source of money.
Your tax return does not contain any information about other sources of income.
Enough is enough!! Fuck your pizza!! I’m tired of Google, Facebook, Twitter and WhatsApp. I’m flying to an island with no internet, no cell phone, and no one is spying on me!! to
“I understand, sir, but you need to update your passport. Its deadline expired 5 weeks ago.