Even Lenin stands up.

Today was fun. He comes to me in the morning to the office of the Petrovich enterprise, whistles a greeting through his moustaches and wraps his head somewhere in the corridor.

– Sally Kaesovna, there... it’s...
What is? I am stressed.
I went... there... in the corner... my brother. In the green package.
of something?
It is forel! He rescues him.

I make another attempt to figure it out.

What did they go, where? You are about what?

Petrovich picked up more air in his chest to formulate for the most outspoken.

I brought forel to you. I put it in the freezer, in the corner. In the green package. My brother brought me from work, and he named the factory where this fish is produced.
Okay, I am uncertain. How much do I owe you for a forel?
- Yes, I said that I just brought it, - Petrovich was already tired of my questions and obviously wanted to leave soon.
And for what?
These heroins are stinking!

Now it has clarified. The department with which Petrovich had a difficult relationship for centuries was the accounting department. And you need to contact them regularly, because Petrovich is the head of the transportation shop. In addition to being rigorous about excess gasoline and toilet paper, accounting is famous for having, like no other department, a strong herd instinct. One made the nails "with the design" - all ran and glued the same. One bought phalaenopsis orchid - in a couple of weeks, the entire department was filled with pots. One put a money frog on the table... and so on. And when I returned to work in this office, a great surprise for me (and I will not say that pleasant) was the passion of accounting with spirits with pheromones. The employees there are, of course, for the most part quite young (except for the headmaster), but, fucking, why women with a higher economic education and mostly family, perfumes with pheromones during working hours?

I don’t know much about it, but it doesn’t smell so bad. But... the smell of these hellish pheromones stood as if all the most stinking females of wild animals in the stream were gathered to attract sexual males specifically to our accounting room for mating and further joint upbringing of offspring. Whether they pour these pheromones wrong and wrong, whether they drink, whether they were sold cheap counterfeit from the snorkel, but it became impossible to be in the accounting office. And Petrovich was there, I repeat, regularly. Whether the pheromones did not act on him, or, on the contrary, they acted, but he spoke louder than usual and walked darker than the clouds, smelled his shirt and pleaded.

What do you smell like... interesting? - I wondered through vomiting when I also had to go to the accounting office. I used to feel that something strange stinks from the employees of this department, but when they are all together in the same herd in the same herd – it is really something that can knock down even a very large predator. I have already expressed my attitude towards the overuse of even normal spirits that are not chemical weapons.
- Parfums with pheromones, - proudly cheered ladies.

I did not hesitate to ask why they had all this animal magnetism at work (suddenly the chief of the centralized accounting office, when they go there with the papers, will not withstand and master them right on the desk), and the experimentators explained that these are spirits of the "new generation", and the real effect of them comes after a few hours of use, when the "all superfluous" is ventilated. In general, just in the evening they will delight in this personal husbands, not outsiders. Some of them have a sister who uses these magical tools for especially repelled fools.

- Girls, but do you know that breathing here is impossible? I have clarified.
So no one goes to us except Petrovich, and he doesn’t care.

No one walks. and UGU. Colleagues complained to me about our sexually concerned accounting packages, someone even went out to quarrel, but what else to do here if the accounting company wants to fuck up with the perversions and is petty to the suffering employees? In our internal regulations it is stated that it is forbidden to use perfumes and other substances with sharp odors at work, unless they are intended for disinfection or elimination of IBS. I know this rule precisely, because the relevant paragraph was put into the document by me personally, feeding an indestructible hatred for people who do not know how to use spirits, so they suck and sweat with them instead of applying them in small doses where only selected lucky people will smell them. However, there is no serious punishment under the law for violating these rules.

Director Sergey responded unreasonably to the complaints of employees. He is so... unstoppable. He tries to make less contact with the people, and to complain to him about any employees (if it is not about work matters, but about interpersonal matters) - a complete fool. And I understood that we and Petrovich would continue to act.

I came to him and said:

When will the director and the accountant go to the central accounting office together?
“On Thursday,” said Petrovich.
In different cars?
He responds with dignity.
“Maybe,” I ask carefully, “that one of the cars had to go to the service urgently, and the director had to go with the accountant?
Why in service? I don’t understand Petrovich’s words.
- Well, the lights wipe out... Water in the washer pour out...

Finally, I explained to him in direct text that he has the only chance to remedy his and our misery.

On the appointed day, the director was forced to sit in the same car with the accountant and the chief accountant. Moreover, in the car that the accountantry was driving regularly, and not in the one that usually carried him. Sergei returned with a taxi. He called the chief and said briefly: if tomorrow will smell at least a little, he will dismiss everyone and recruit others. Which do not smell.

And here Petrovich came to express my gratitude. When he left, he asked:

- And what, really, if you sprinkled with such spirits, then anyone will get up on anyone?
I don’t know, I haven’t tried...
"I think," said Petrovich, "that even Lenin will rise from this smell. He will flee into the forest and be buried there, so that he will not smell.