Here I am forty soon, and I still remember how I once lost memory as a teenager, for a short time. The Matrix failed.



I was less than fifteen years old. I run from the street home, hungry like a wolf. No one’s home. I, in order not to shudder for a long time, to heat food and all that (because at fifteen years and up to twenty-five, I metalled everything that was unshakable) decided to quickly blur the sandwich. He got a whole bowl of bread, cut off a piece, removed the rest of the bread. He got the sausage, cut off a piece, put it on the bread, removed the rest of the sausage. He swallowed the sandwich and didn’t even understand. I decided to make another one. I go to the bakery for bread and... it’s empty. I stood up a little bit, I understand that I probably didn’t put it there, but I don’t remember where. A full tremor began. I broke the whole kitchen, opened all the suspensions, trays, penals, cabinets, refrigerator and even the garbage can. I literally wandered and searched the whole kitchen, there was no bread. Not a piece! Fourteen minutes later, I was in despair. I forgot about hunger. I began to think that I had gotten the corn and there was no bread and no sandwich I ate. There was a failure of the system. And to the most annoying and frightening even, I am not a fool, right? I held the bread with my own hands and cut it, and then I ate. I opened the refrigerator for the fifth time and looked stupidly at the sausage and understood that my hands were doing it. I turned a dull glance at the knife on the table and I understand it in the sausage. In short, I was tired and very upset, cut off with a knife that was lying on the table, a piece of sausage from the refrigerator and without bread, chewing the sausage, broke into my room.



I turned on a movie on the view, I lie down watching a movie, I try to distract myself from the episode in the kitchen. I don’t know how long it has been, but it has cut me off. I jumped, almost running to the kitchen. Some gestal of my brain gave me information where I had not yet looked. From this signal not only the brain worked, but also revived hope in the heart. Hope I’m not a fucker yet.

And here I am, full of adrenaline (heart beats) and hopefully standing again in front of the refrigerator, carefully and slowly opening the door and then, even more carefully and slowly opening the small door of the freezer.



and bingo! The cock! It is frozen, frozen already. I was happy like a fool. I don’t know, don’t ask me what...I put it there. I still don’t know the name of this phenomenon. But the fact remains a fact. We call it a matrix failure.