I am 32 years old, but I was still in kindergarten. We had a teacher, Ludmila Konstantinovna, as far as I remember. When one of the children hooliganized, she never screamed and especially did not raise her hand, but preferred to be ashamed, could put in the corner. Overall, she was very kind and we loved her, but she had one peculiarity. When none of us confessed to another child’s “crime,” she built us up in a shelter, sat down on a chair and forced us to approach her in turn and look in her eyes. “I’ll see it through your eyes,” she calmly said. We were all very afraid of this procedure because we were 100% sure it worked.

We had two boy hooligans in our group. How about the hooligans? I could get rid of it and take out a toy. I have always considered myself an exemplary boy. On a winter day, I stood in the garden near the window and accidentally pierced a paper scotch with which insulated window frames were glued for the winter (the case was in Tomsk in the early 1990s). But, I remember, it wasn’t so accidental. I was just wondering what would happen if I crashed. He nodded and didn’t tell anyone. Later, Ludmila Konstantinovna discovered this and called on the responsible to come to her with guilt. I did not have enough spirit. And then she pronounces this phrase: "Well, then I will now know everything from your eyes." The panic that enveloped me then is one of my first childhood memories. God... I think through the years, I still remember her look in my eyes when it was my turn. She said, “The next one.” I waited for the announcement of the results as a court verdict. And what was my surprise when one of those two shaloppies was named guilty. We were both in shock. We were the only ones in this kindergarten to find out that the damn system didn’t work. But he couldn’t confess, because he’t be believed, and I couldn’t... Well because he couldn’t... The next day his grandmother came to the garden to glue the window...

It’s been 27 years, but I’m still ashamed.

If you are reading this, I hope this has not affected your life and, moreover, you don’t remember it anymore. And yet... forgive me.