As a child, I watched kung fu films, took Tao de Jing from a friend and decided that I would be a blessed monk.

In the evening, my mom came and asked when I was going to wash the dishes I promised to wash yesterday.

I: Lao Tzu teaches that even if nothing is done, the problem will sooner or later resolve itself.

Q: Do I wash my laundry?

I: As an option.

...

That evening my mom peeled me off with a vein, and I realized that Buddhism wasn’t mo.