The Relativity of World Perception

Almost 10 years ago I had to work on the Arctic islands with a student. The relationship was purely laborious – a warning for those who read in the hope of a strawberry. A month and a half we wandered in the mud along the coast, digging it and drowning in it, freezing and wet in the sea and under the rains with snow charges. During all this time, they did not see a single person, but there was enough livelihood around: singers, lemings, cheeks, whales and other livelihoods. The student was all waiting for a white bear, but it was unclear whether she wanted to see him to see, or how to be scared and understand what it was like to really be scared. I had a rifle with me, but I had no illusions about it: in order to crush a white bear in a close battle from a two-string, it was necessary to have a very large bowl with God or a squad of war angels, but neither of them I had. But the time passed and the bears walked by.

In mid-August, the sea was completely cleared of the ice, and we started along the coast routes on the inflatable boat. In order not to carry with them excess barracks, the tent was left in the base camp, and lived on the routes in the boat, under the tent. You pull the boat to the shore, put a barrel out of it along the edges on the outside - and you get an apartment size 1.1 to 3.5 m, a good single for two:) In the bedrooms on the inflatable bottom - one pleasure! There were transparent inserts in the tent, so that it was light and everything was visible.
Once after the storm, a little wet, pulled out on the shore between two hills, organized space, ate and slept. I always laid the gun loaded on the inflatable board of the boat, so that my readiness to reflect surprises varied from time to wake up, and to stretch out my hand, that is. 5 minutes for everything.

The night of the polar day, the darkness, the sunshine slightly noises, the bedroom is warm and dry... The student also almost with her head in her bedroom, we lie with a wallet. I stumble.
Suddenly there is a powerful blow to the tendon and almost immediately - the second! The first feeling is an earthquake. The boat moves! I open my eyes. In front of me is a tent on one side, in it a window covered with rain drops, in the window - a bear's face with the expression "What are you doing there?!". Then the mouth moves away, a leg with nails appears and squeezes (from the point of view of the mouse - not very much) along the bow of the tent. The arc breaks, five holes appear in the window. “Oh, you fell, we’re going to get wet now!” I think and beat my hand on the balloon of the boat with all my strength. A loud blow is given, the bear from surprise leaps back and it becomes visible in its entirety. Healthy you fucking! Almost the size of a boat... A gun falls from the balloon when it hits me, I pull it out of the tent and give it a double in the air. The bear jumps a little further and waits for the continuation of the show: it is necessary – three times all touched some elastic alien fist and so many events at once with sound accompaniment. I quickly recharge the trunk, take another couple of bullets in my hands, jump into the swamps and in some cowards jump out of the boat. By the edge of the eye I have time to see: the student sitting in the boat, not getting out of the bedroom and silently and very quietly watching the show from the other side of the barricade. From me, the adrenaline is blowing the fountain: in a bear's cowardice - it's cool even for me. Remembering that the best defense is an offensive, I run on a bear, squeezing on the moist tundra with swamps on a barefoot, shouting something like “Go out, a white goat!” (I am not a mother, next to ladies!). The trunk in his hands, but I don’t shoot... Up to a mile of 20 meters, he sits on the pop and looks at the clown. Five meters from him we could not withstand – I stopped (well, not jumping on it!) and he, on the contrary, stood up (HZ, what to expect from this monkey...). We looked at each other for a few seconds. “Misha, I can’t help you, there’s a student!” I said it out loud because I had to say something. “Okay, I understood it. Let me pretend to be afraid of you, but bear in mind, I am purely so, to take my eyes away.” The bear turned and rushed into the island, and I followed him. He looked around – are you going? I shot in the air. Here he went over to a coward, I ran after him, shooting in the air. After 50 meters, the bullets ended, and I stopped, and the bear did not. He hurried away from the hill. I waited a little while, saw him on the next hill and realized that he left honestly. Wet from the rain, adrenaline and sweat, I went to the boat. The student was sitting in it, not moving, and looking at me. “I’m gone, I can sleep further.” “Will he not come back?” “Who knows, but I hope not.” “Beautiful bear,” she said and went to bed. I went into the bedroom, fixed the tent a little, and thought for a long time until I fell asleep, why did I, an experienced polar, so tremble and strive for that bear while we were chasing him, and the student quietly and calmly looked at it all and didn't even get scared? What am I, a coward?

In the morning, after breakfast, I asked her about her sickness. She looked at me with amazement and said, “You promised my mother that you would return me whole and unharmed, why should I be afraid? I believe in you!” I froze, digesting what I heard. That’s why I was so afraid – no one promised anything for me! And she added, "The more you ran in cowards in the tundra for a bear, anyone would be afraid of you!"

I still don’t know if it was a compliment or if I was really so terrible. And I still try to find before the field work someone who will promise somebody that I will come back. I am so quieter.