Boriska - a white-haired young man of two and a half years, was completely unrelated to the years developed and wise, with the expression of declamation of Mayakovsky, sang pieces about Hitler (thank you grandfather) and went to the elite kindergarten. Only one thing grieved the poor mother’s heart: Boris despised the pot.
The parents used all the methods, except,, the priming of Scotch, but Boris did not pay attention. He ran into the corridor, stood up on the table and began doing his wet deals, depicting the famous Brussels fountain.
And since, being a charismatic guy, Boriska immediately attracted a lot of followers, a new problem appeared: a kindergarten, in which 20 babies are simultaneously drowned, standing on taburets, can not be considered an elite.

Immediately all taburets were eliminated, but Boris desperately resisted: he climbed to the kitchen table... directly without removing the stretched family collies, not only wrote. (Children's socks in many Russian families are inherited as diamonds or table silver.)
In the hope of changing the status quo, the unhappy mother bought in the area all the pots of the most unexpected modifications. So one day in the apartment appeared "BYAKA", as Boris called her.

"BYAKA" is the fruit of many years of work of the best Chinese engineers, a scientific breakthrough in the field of children's puppies, a giraffe hybrid, an alien hose and a pot. An unknown shit of a poisonous green colour with a huge neck in the middle... I don’t know how to describe... imagine that before the toilet suddenly grew a berry. The neck did not logically end with a small, ridiculous head with horns like Shrek’s.

An ingenious mother, slightly dropping off the child's socks, pushed a "green baobab" between the short Boriskin legs... And that's all. The child is recorded. Almost like with Scotch, but Scotch is not pedagogical. The shoes are normal.
Boris was overwhelmed, but quickly distracted, because right on the back of the alien creature there was a control panel of the galaxy - ten multi-colored bulbs and three buttons.
The button number 1 reproduced the English alphabet.
The second barely recognized something from Brahms.
And the third button in pure Russian with Valeria's voice suddenly sang, "You call me your girl, and then hug me, and then cheat me."
My father drowned with a pellet.
And Boris, hearing his native speech from an unknown wretch, all sorry and sorry for the button number 3...

One hour later, when the cat even learned to sing, the grandfather said, "Better he would continue to fuck in the pants!"