bezdna.su — the best quotes and jokes from the abyss!



[ + 54 - ]
 20.06.2010
For many years, your stories and anecdotes raise the mood. I want to share one story. She was very much in the topic before Victory Day, but you can’t say to diseases – wait.
I hope the readers will be interested.
My neighbor in the hospital room told me about his uncle who had gone through the war.
Let me go from the first person.
My uncle, Timothy Kupchenko, before the war, completed driver courses and carried artillery shells throughout the war. and batteries. He has never been injured, but has gone through something that is true, you can only agree with him. He often said, “But God still loves me.”
From his stories it seems that it was so.
I arrived late on the battery. The Germans just finished shelling our positions.
I still remembered with horror what I saw. There is nothing left of our battery. Metal fragments mixed with the earth. People were not seen at all.
With great difficulty they dug out of the ground one soldier. Alive but heavily confounded.
He carries somehow a battery of shells, and among them a box with grenades.
The artillery officers were angry and threw the box into the body. Go where you picked up and see what they load.
He goes back to meet a German plane. He gave, he missed.
Well, the uncle thinks, now it will turn and the racing will not miss anymore. The place is open, there is no wreath. Where to go? He jumped out of the cabin and under the radiator.
The German did not fail. I asked for a box of grenades. The explosion destroyed the car. Uncle Timothy, no scratch, only very injured. And when it is injured, it stops talking or cries very hard. Arrived in part on foot. He had to do a lot of work to explain how from the empty, without shells, the machine was nothing left.
On one trip, a young soldier, his countrymen, a single peasant was in his companionship. The house is remembered. German aircraft crashed. While he explained to the landlord where it was better to hide, while pushing him out of the cabin, he had no time to run to the wreck. The explosion of a full car of shells swept him far away.
Timothy was lying very injured, without feelings, but no scratch. The landlord decided that Timothy was killed. His letter to his hometown that
Timothy Kupchenko died in front of him. However, the passing doctors determined that he was alive. He was in the hospital for two months, and only then wrote home. Oh, and got that one villager, who with some sort of outcry came home later.
Once again he walked on the battery at the time of the start of the shelling of our positions.
All in blends. Timothy rushed to the nearest, and he was full. He had to lie down in the depth before entering. A heavy German projectile hit the blinds.
He remained alive alone. He was swallowed by the ground, and when he got out, he could not speak for a long time from injury and horror. He tells, I raise my head, and in centimeters from my face, human limbs and other parts of human bodies are cut off.
He carried the bullets to Berlin. He was not injured once, he was wounded many times.
I went to Berlin on a Studebaker. Once with an accompanying, junior officer, decided to get a snaps. And how? Change the gasoline. There was no time to complete the exchange, two individuals on a motorcycle. They were all thrown on gas. And those like the racing do not lag behind. There was a large shield at one of the turns. He fell down and smashed those “individuals.”
What happened to them he does not know, but they were shaking for a long time, waiting for searchers and investigators.
They themselves moved to the parking lot of cars prepared to be handed over to the Americans.
They chose a car that was not damaged, changed the number and vowed for 30 years not to tell anyone about it. It all happened. No one was sought.
We went by train from Berlin. In which half-station was a Gypsy attached.
You have an affair with iron, and you will die from it. So it was in his soul that, when he returned home, he categorically refused to deal with the technique.
I worked riding. He was sent somewhere after the seed. Senna loaded what is called "above the roof", a whole roof. I sat up on top. The road went along the forest. On the other hand, the whole. There is a lonely tree on the road. Forest on the right, oak on the left. The oak is old and broken. Branches hang over the road. The car will pass. He began to run around the whole tree. What the mine was, it doesn’t matter. The horse and the chariot were broken in pieces.
And my uncle Timothy, with the remains of the seed, was high on the branches of the oak. Uncle is targeted, but he is heavily injured. Two months later, I spoke with difficulty.
When he came back from the war, the lunch started at the second. He says he is accustomed. And how?
So lucky, only poured into the boiler first, shelling or bombardment. Running to the shelter, you splash everything. Do not run, or the earth will saturate, or even a piece will fall.
I decided to start with the second. It is easier to run with him. And then, if I could, I ate the first one. Lunch starts at the second.
The garden of his house is located on the hill. Along the fence she walked expensive and turned to the side. The road is sandy, drivers chase down, cars take off. One of them removed part of the fence. I promised to rebuild the fence.
Soon I brought section fence and pillars.
Timothy was pleased and said that he would rebuild the fence himself. He grabbed the pillars, remaining the last. The old pit is tiny, the new pillar is much longer.
Deeping the hole, the spade hit something hard. I thought it was stone.
I brought LOM. He hit a couple of times.
Either it is the right hand of God, or the sixth sense. A second before the explosion, he jumped away from the pit and fell to the ground. Again, we are injured, but we do not hurt.
The last case. They dug a hole in the yard, covered something, made a basement.
This is immediately after the warrior, with vodka is difficult. Timothy got a couple of bottles and hid them in this cellar. The eldest son of a tractorist, on a hooked tractor, walked back into the courtyard. He broke down the whole cellar, and his hose was grabbed. Digging in steel. They filled the ground, compared to the level of the yard.
20 years have passed. The house was expanded, the foundation became on the former basement. A hole was excavated to strengthen the foundation. I dug those bottles.
Uncle was incredibly pleased. He covered the table, gathered the floor of the village, feasted everyone and condemned "and God still loves me!"

It was a long time, but... it might be interesting. You to decide. The Leukodon.
Source: http://www.anekdot.ru/an/an1006/o100619;1.html
Eng

The best quotes and jokes from the bezdna