Oh, you are a school ahead of his time:

MahmudS: A few years ago there was a team from Kazakhstan in the KVN Higher League, and they had a joke:
- good, on the hands, profit divided in half, 50% by 50%.
I want 70 percent!
Okay, then 70% to 70%.

Kazakhstan - jokes ahead of time :)

At the top, on Carlson’s doorstep, ten red blades lay in a row. They looked very appetizing.
“And I paid for them honestly,” Carlson boasted. We will divide them equally, seven for you and seven for me.
It won’t happen, the boy rejected. Seven and seven is fourteen, and we only have ten plugs.
In response, Carlson hurriedly placed seven plugs in the hill.
“Here are my ones, I’ve already taken them,” he said and covered the mouthpiece with his swollen pen. It’s stupid in schools now. But I do not intend to suffer because of that. We’ll take seven pieces, as I said – my here."