The Fire

Time of action is the end of the 80s. Moscow Technical University.
An old five-story building in the center of Moscow, near the Clean ponds.
Due to the shortage of space on the roof made a small wooden superstructure
A sixth floor, a house on the house.

At the entrance to the institute, it is supposed to be installed a bodyguard. During the day the brave boys guard, at night the grandmother. On the watch, it is believed, there is a safety and fire alarm control - a panel with two dozen ordinary 25-watt bulbs painted in red with oil paint (USSR, however). The light bulb is constantly burning - everything is fine, it began to blink - either someone entered the window, or a fire in the appropriate room, you need to go check. Explain why in
In the "quiet" situation, it is burning, not turned off: if it burns, it means that the system is fine, otherwise - either the light bulb has overburned, or the electricity has been turned off, according to the official instructions, the watchman must report to the emergency.

As usual, in the night shift the grandmother enters by the rule of "guard sleeps - duty goes". And these ugly bulbs, although low-powered, but many of them, interfere with sleep, shine in the eyes. Therefore, at night, they are slightly twisted out of the bullets so that the basement does not reach contact and it is dark.

Once again, employees from the wooden superstructure, leaving the work, did not turn off the fan standing on the window. At night, the curtains drowned in the blades, and the fan stopped. The engine from overload began to heat, and eventually the plastic body of the fan, and with it, the curtain, burned.

The alarm may have tried to inform the watchman of the smoke in the room, only the bulbs are twisted and the syrene either didn’t work or was turned off for the same reason as the bulbs. But the phone ringed – one of the residents of the local houses saw smoke and decided to report. Where he took the number of the service history is silent, I will only say that once I easily found the number of the reception commission of this institute in the phone directory of 1985. The grandmother walked 5 floors (the elevator does not go to the roof), made sure that there was no fire, and, deciding that it was a joke of students, turned off the phone, so that the sleep was not disturbed.

When the building on the roof engaged in open fire, the very conscious citizen called no longer the guard, but the firefighters. They arrived, they struck up quickly. As a result, of course, explanatory conversations, instruction on safety equipment, etc. The building did not suffer, only removed the remains of this ugly shark from the roof.

And all the comicity and irony of this story lies in the fact that the burned room was a labor protection and fire department.
the safety.