The real case:
In the city of Yekaterinburg lives a funny uncle Igor.
One night, a funny story happened to him. Well taken on the chest of fire water, he moved home. Suddenly he is shot down by a car, and, in order to hide the traces of crime, he decided to a mounting. At the last blow, the montage stuck in the head of Uncle Igor. The criminals fled.
Uncle Igor, without removing the assembly from his head, to see that the hole did not blow, still got home. He slept like this for five days. Five days later, the neighbor smelled blood and called an ambulance. Our brave medicine, not understanding, decided to identify the sleeping (living) uncle Igor in the morge.
After sleeping well, Uncle Igor felt the cold and the irresistible desire to smoke. He pulled off a man lying next to him. It was necessary to see the eyes of the staff of the morgo when the body in a bowl approached them and asked to smoke.
P.S He now works as a security guard. The hole in the head is periodically disinfected with the same fiery water.