Officers: “The cooler the crash...”
The technology that really gave us pleasure was CRAZ. Large, yellow, with an open body and wet wheels (6 wheel drive!This monster was exploited “in the tail and in the hryvnia.” It was carried dry for the kitchen, sand for the decoration of the camp halls, our bodies to the city beach and other army valuables, for example, underwear in the division laundry. The front glass of KrAZ adorned the passage of the series "everywhere", so this machine increased demand from camp officers, as well as respect from neighboring posts. The scooters did not hinder him either.

He ruled the monster Vova. Very experienced, competent driver, who loves the diesel equipment entrusted to him since the time of urgent service, not deprived of sense of humor and optimism.

Another working morning, Vova took the kitchen suit and polluted behind the wood, the dryhouse, which accumulates over the years on the tank field in the form of trees crushed by shooting bowls. I don’t know, maybe they didn’t let Vova go to the field because of the shooting, or for what reason, but somewhere in half an hour one of the “carriers” comes to the garage with a message from Vova that he “was gone.” Khe... “plants” a swamp KrAZ on a six-wheel drive chassis – it needs to be able to, we thought, but we have decided to not report anything. With an indifference, trying not to attract attention, we rushed for the courier, the good was not far away.

Vova (in the sense of - KrAZ) settled in a narrow forest area, not reaching the exit from the area of only a hundred meters. I settled specifically, because the last of the bowls, part of which Vova overcame, in the first impression, was something similar to a tank caponier. Caponir, somewhat filled with jade, with a consistency of "something like a village cream." From a distance of ten meters, only the upper part of the KrAZ cabin was visible, where the bored Vova smoked. The level of "cream" was exactly down the door, the cabin was not flooded - and that is good. The whole outfit diligently gathered around the surroundings of the tree and branches, trying to squeeze them into the area of the supposed wheels of the monster. Neither the branches nor the trees wanted to climb into the "cream", and if they climbed, they immediately slowly popped up.

“The helicopter will have to call,” Vova joked. We kindly advised him to splinter and start a car. As much as they could, a friendly eagle flooded the collected trunks and branches under the wheels. Vova stumbled, raising the beautiful boiling bushes, but the bushes did not emerge - obviously, they went deep into the abyss, and KrAZ did not even move. The soldiers were dispatched for new wood. Vova walked out and at every firefighter informed us that the body full of wood for the kitchen was already drowned under KrAZ.
They smoked, repeated the experience of flooding wood (the abyss turned out to be bottomless), stunned, sat down to think.

The helicopter must be called. Anyone know there are helicopters nearby? He began to throw his Vova, but was ugly crushed and, offended, went out.

Nothing more technological than the helicopter did not rise to our heads, and therefore it was decided to go and report to the vice president. I went alone. As softly as possible, from a distance and without colors, I began to tell him what incidents happened with the equipment, and in five minutes we and the deputy were near KrAZ. Having knocked something at all our relatives up to the seventh knee, the deputy died, advising us to wait and not dig.
It is necessary to pay tribute - the connection with us at least remove, and the tank regiment is on the horizon. Fifteen minutes later, in the light of the trees, a cloud of dust was visible, carrying through the field to the unfortunate prostitutes. Two minutes later, it was determined that the dust cloud was pulling the T-80 (seems to be), in the head of the steering wheel, and another warrior was pulling out of the tower. On the hole and the growing hole of the low-flying tank all poured to the edge of the field, and the one on full speed, without reducing speed, tried to spread his ass to the middle. It appeared that the pebble driver-casbek wanted to chase the back in the middle of his 50-ton monster. From the move, as cascades in the movie chase a small car on the parking lot - between two other lighthouses.

did not ask. Shrinking, like a skull of groe in the midday sun, a goose slipped out of the tank. She, in principle, did not shake anyone, but set the beginning of a grave silence. The roar of the wounded tank also stopped. Because of the spinning of enthusiastically silent spectators a voice spread:

He also lost the tank. Now without a helicopter – a pipet.

After thinking, the voice added:

If I had been on the job, I would have made my lips clean.

Vova continued to lobby his desire to drive KrAZ on a helicopter, but we did not tell him, because everything was already clear to everyone.

The head from the tower, which went into the direction of the "kasbek-mechanic", disappeared in the tank, and then came out in the helmet. Continuing to interfere with the coordinates of the tank's location, the head called the "technic". Fifteen minutes later, the twin T-80, controlled by the twin brother of the first tank's fur driver, became the "technician". He was either smarter or more frightening, but slowed down, allowing the commander to jump off the armor for remote, so to speak, control of the turn and further actions. Under the command of the commander, the "technician" turned and flooded back in the middle, braking meters ten from KrAZ. The woods threw the end (in the hand thickness) with the words "you are there somewhere to cling it," after which the woods broke up with an eagle on the cap and somewhere in the wheat for something there the phallus clinged. With the words "just if all the bridges were not pulled out of me," Vova entered the cabin.

- You shoot with speed, but especially do not drive and do not brake, - his commander of the tank.

Oh, I don’t remember you? - nervously doubted Vova, spit out the bull and immediately smoked another "Astra".

“Bamper, you will remember my cage,” answered the senior of the tank and shrugged the fur with his hand.

The beam drove the lever, the wire stretched and the tank began to sink into the ground. The crust was worn, but it did not use the dirt. The commander with gestures showed the furwoman that he could submit again, but slowly and without fanaticism. The driver moved the lever and the tank began to raise its front. Have you seen the Air Force footage of a blue whale jumping out of the ocean? An impressive spectacle, isn’t it? Especially when it’s a slow shot. Something similar, slowly, happened before our eyes. I don't think that the commander himself often observed the bottom of the 50-ton monster entrusted to him, raising his chest by 30 degrees. What gestures his commander from a height of five meters saw the fur, I do not imagine, but the tank, dying in the air for a couple of seconds, began to slowly settle in the forehead. Krzysztof was weak. Well, or he had no reason to hold in the cream.

As Vova later argued, "from the expressions of your faces you could write the triptych "Pompeii. People and horror.” The tank, then no longer stumbling, proper KrAZ until the hole without stopping. Vova violated the wish of the tank driver and still on the exit pressed the brake, apparently regretting his bumper. The tank was a poof, he stopped only by the hand of the commander, in the field.

While the people examined KrAZ for the availability of all the bridges, and Vova for the subject of interference (it seemed to us a little whiter than a leaflet), we talked with the deputy and Komtanka about the calculation of what was done, that is, for help. The amount of gratitude was reasonable and standard. One tank is half a liter. 2 tanks – 1 liter. It was normal and masculine. Not “exaggerated” and not humble. After fifteen to twenty minutes the field was empty (mechanical matters, it turns out, treat tanks faster than motorists their tires). Only a bunch of dirt at the beginning of the prosecca reminded me of the confusion that happened.

Something, and in the Soviet Army there have always been human, male relationships, especially if someone got in trouble, or even just blunted. I think the helicopters will forgive us that they didn’t get two and a half liters that day.