Many, I hope, know the joke about a colonel at the military department, who, looking through the lists of students, begins to go from a hustle, almost to an apoplexic blow, and then, through tears, shares with a colleague: "Comrade Pizduhail, look at the student's funny surname - the Rabbit!!!"
If not to be confused, 1979, the military department of one of the Volga universities. Audience of 200-250 people (located and more), in fact 100-120, the male part of the two faculties - machmat and physics. Many (and I included) have already found a job for the next hour and a half, writing a bullet, playing chess and endless crosses for money. In short, the routine. But in five minutes, the lecturer manages to capture our attention. The fact that this is a new teacher made us little confused (or little attracted, I don’t know how right in this situation). The lectures could be read by any officer of the department to whom the choice of the chief fell on that day. The corresponding paper with the name of the specialty and the order number of the lecture was taken and then, without observing the signs of interruption, some technical pauses for understanding were solemnly read before the audience. I’ll also tell you with a certain talent – what a show.
It broke all stereotypes.
First he presented himself:
“I am the new teacher of the military department of the State University – Captain Babkin. Then he joyfully proposed, “Let’s get acquainted” and began to read the list of those present in order to become acquainted. Further, you need either a stenogram, but it is lost))), or try to represent the process itself. Not only that everyone besides the captain understands that the acquaintance with such a crowd will take at least half a couple, so he still names, if she can't read more than two passages from the first time, breaks into pieces (Beloborodov from the fourth time asylum) and puts the emphasis in the most unexpected places. After 40 minutes, two-thirds of the list had already been announced, half of the audience, consisting of twenty-year-old bouts, not having the opportunity to laugh out loud, whispered under the tables, but the most transparent already understood the main fun ahead, more precisely at the end of the list.
Here was my bet - three liters of beer against a cup, that my friend Vitya Popov will be Popov (he then a month at the beer bar did not appear, when it became known on what occasion he gave me the beer), here was the captain picked up the first Rabinovich, Arkash (we had two, one from the Mehmat, another physicist) and joyfully, like a child, looked at him. It seems he often had to hear the name in jokes, but the happy owner he saw for the first time. Further on the list was again Rabinovich, but Valery. Captain Babkin could not immediately realize this fact. That two Rabinovichs could be in one room at once was a complete exotic for him. Valera got up by himself, knowing that he was next on the list. Babkin stared at him, and insecurely asked, “Sho, too?Valera just shrugged his hands, as if agreeing with all the captain’s possible versions. And on the horizon, more precisely through 2-3 surnames in the list, Habanes Cabos was already whispering Jose Viktorovich. Such silence the audience did not seem to know even at night. Everyone, including Jose Victorovich himself, a full guy in glasses with thick glasses, kept his breath behind and watched the captain. How could it be known that in the 1930s, now in the last century, several hundred children were taken from Spain in the USSR, whose parents were fighting at this time against Franco, and one of the grandchildren of the heroes-communists is now sitting in the hall.
At first, the captain simply breathed and moved his lips, trying to compose from the letters at least something in his understanding meaningful. Then he began to whisper and seemingly about himself, but in the prevailing silence all heard it, he said with feeling:
“Hernia is something!”
The first tears flowed on the cheeks of the listeners, and the captain grumbled more and more, and, apparently, from a state of apparent gentleness, he moved into a state of deep "personal hostility" to Habanes Cabos, Jose Victorovich. As he imagined him, the story silences, but... When he closed the list, he went out of the department to the audience and said with a voice that did not predict anything good:
“Well, Karabas Barabas, go out, show yourself what you are!” almost everyone shouted. Someone, not noticing it himself, from the excess of feelings knocked his foot into the partition between the rows, someone (and there were many of them) just slipped under the table, someone needed an ambulance. The two laughed, Captain Babkin and José Vittorovich Habanes Cabos.

Captain Babkin became a major a month later, and Jose remained Karabas Barabas until 4th course, until he became the Paris Carrier. But this is a separate story.