From the discussion of mobile antivirus:

KyberPrizrak
This is an old joke about Kaspersky, not about the other web! When the NOD32 virus is detected: "This. This is like a virus to you. Is it right now to urinate or to go to jail for torture?" Kaspersky: "AAAAAAAA!!!!!!! Viruses, we will all die, what to do, the attack, the child, the apocalypse. and no. "Thanks to you!!! Viruses, we will all die, what to do, the attack, the child, the apocalypse. and no. It is just a program. Sorry, I was scared"

by catmen08
KyberPrizrak, for modern realities rather like this: Kaspersky: Master, here you were called on the door while you were sleeping. Well, for security, I put you in the zinc grave and rolled in the asphalt, and on the perimeter I put machine guns towers, wire and mines. This is where I thought what I should do next: pour more lead on your asphalt, so that you are sure to be safe, but leave it so? Choose it, choose it! I am a democratic program, the opinion of the user is always taken into account! NOD32: Master, while you slept, thieves broke into us, took all our possessions, shot the dog, painted a porn banner on the wall and broke all the windows! Here I am thinking: Should I have stopped them or not? What do you think? Avast: Relayax, guy... What viruses? Viruses are a myth... Let’s get one more...