bezdna.su — the best quotes and jokes from the abyss!
My boss, a regional deputy, and I lead his reception. We have a small fund to fund charitable activities. Since citizens often turn to the deputies for money, like some kind of mutual aid fund, the fund is never overcrowded. Most of the appeals are questionable, here are some examples of recent monetary claims:
1st A citizen wants to throw over the city from a helicopter leaflets in support of Pussy Riot. Ask for money to rent a helicopter. The papers he has already made, handwritten. About 100 pieces. They refused. He said that he knew, the bloody regime and the suffocation of democracy. To explain why the leaflets need to be thrown out precisely from the helicopter, he could not. Maybe he just wants to ride a helicopter.
2nd The citizen asked for money to buy a homeopathic drug. The course costs 50,000. She has been drinking it for a year, it didn’t help. I went to homeopathy again. The homeopath said that you need to reduce the dose and extend the course. I have no money, my pension is small. They refused. He said he would complain to the prosecutor’s office. Flag in hand, gave the address of the prosecutor's office.
Three The citizen argued with the companion that he could bite his own elbow. I disputed the apartment. He could not bite. As a true gentleman, he “rewritten” the apartment to the winning citizen. Now he has nowhere to live, asking for help in finding housing. D'Artagnan was sent to the city administration.
4 is Numerous merchants have burned on the distribution of various ("natural", "natural", "homeopathic", "nano-..", "bioenergy" and other exotic) cosmetics. As a rule, they offer to buy a legacy product, or to withdraw the money paid for cosmetics from the supplier.
5 is A very active lady. She said she represented a group of fans who delegated her to the Olympics in London. Asked to pay for a plane ticket to London and attend sports events. To the question of what relationship the deputy has to her entertainment abroad, it was difficult to answer. He offered her to take a souvenir compass with a party symbol. Angry, she said that she would tell everyone about the power of power. I agree, let me.
6 is A citizen intends to participate in car races. He said it was necessary to fund the purchase of a sports car. The car he has already looked at, b / ear, but the price is funny, only one and a half million. He loves speed and has no doubt about his victory.
7 is Somewhere in Moscow is liquidating the horse factory. A citizen came and asked for money to buy one of the liquidated horses. The horse is intended to be used in business (to be leased in a short term for breeding). Deputy promised to ride a horse on the streets of the city for free, and to attach an election campaign to the seat.
8 is an industrial artist. Creates canvases from debris of metal, canvas and ropes. Wild is rare. He complains about narrowed housing conditions, asks to allocate the studio necessary for creativity with an area of not less than two hundred square meters. From the trouble of searching for the studio he is ready to save us, a suitable apartment (penthouse on the last floor of an elite house with a terrace) he has already looked after. Even ready (appreciate the generosity!) not to designate an apartment as property, but only to use it for work and living.
9 is A man breeds chickens. He that he invented an installation for the production of electricity from chicken meat, which will make his chicken farming completely ecological and autonomous. Money is needed to create an experimental sample of the unit. We did not give money. History had a continuation. A local energy company said a citizen did not pay for electricity, despite the fact that his farm shines bright lights at night. The farmer replied that he was not only a cooker, but also an inventor, built an electrochemical generator on a chicken grove and now thought of energy makers. Energetics proved to be principled and discovered a secret cable of illegal connection to the LEP, skillfully masked with chicken excrete. After disconnecting the specified cable, the chicken reactor stopped generating electricity. Energy writes a lawsuit to the court and the usual to the police. He writes letters to the FAS, the European Court of Human Rights, Greenpeace and the UN.
1st A citizen wants to throw over the city from a helicopter leaflets in support of Pussy Riot. Ask for money to rent a helicopter. The papers he has already made, handwritten. About 100 pieces. They refused. He said that he knew, the bloody regime and the suffocation of democracy. To explain why the leaflets need to be thrown out precisely from the helicopter, he could not. Maybe he just wants to ride a helicopter.
2nd The citizen asked for money to buy a homeopathic drug. The course costs 50,000. She has been drinking it for a year, it didn’t help. I went to homeopathy again. The homeopath said that you need to reduce the dose and extend the course. I have no money, my pension is small. They refused. He said he would complain to the prosecutor’s office. Flag in hand, gave the address of the prosecutor's office.
Three The citizen argued with the companion that he could bite his own elbow. I disputed the apartment. He could not bite. As a true gentleman, he “rewritten” the apartment to the winning citizen. Now he has nowhere to live, asking for help in finding housing. D'Artagnan was sent to the city administration.
4 is Numerous merchants have burned on the distribution of various ("natural", "natural", "homeopathic", "nano-..", "bioenergy" and other exotic) cosmetics. As a rule, they offer to buy a legacy product, or to withdraw the money paid for cosmetics from the supplier.
5 is A very active lady. She said she represented a group of fans who delegated her to the Olympics in London. Asked to pay for a plane ticket to London and attend sports events. To the question of what relationship the deputy has to her entertainment abroad, it was difficult to answer. He offered her to take a souvenir compass with a party symbol. Angry, she said that she would tell everyone about the power of power. I agree, let me.
6 is A citizen intends to participate in car races. He said it was necessary to fund the purchase of a sports car. The car he has already looked at, b / ear, but the price is funny, only one and a half million. He loves speed and has no doubt about his victory.
7 is Somewhere in Moscow is liquidating the horse factory. A citizen came and asked for money to buy one of the liquidated horses. The horse is intended to be used in business (to be leased in a short term for breeding). Deputy promised to ride a horse on the streets of the city for free, and to attach an election campaign to the seat.
8 is an industrial artist. Creates canvases from debris of metal, canvas and ropes. Wild is rare. He complains about narrowed housing conditions, asks to allocate the studio necessary for creativity with an area of not less than two hundred square meters. From the trouble of searching for the studio he is ready to save us, a suitable apartment (penthouse on the last floor of an elite house with a terrace) he has already looked after. Even ready (appreciate the generosity!) not to designate an apartment as property, but only to use it for work and living.
9 is A man breeds chickens. He that he invented an installation for the production of electricity from chicken meat, which will make his chicken farming completely ecological and autonomous. Money is needed to create an experimental sample of the unit. We did not give money. History had a continuation. A local energy company said a citizen did not pay for electricity, despite the fact that his farm shines bright lights at night. The farmer replied that he was not only a cooker, but also an inventor, built an electrochemical generator on a chicken grove and now thought of energy makers. Energetics proved to be principled and discovered a secret cable of illegal connection to the LEP, skillfully masked with chicken excrete. After disconnecting the specified cable, the chicken reactor stopped generating electricity. Energy writes a lawsuit to the court and the usual to the police. He writes letters to the FAS, the European Court of Human Rights, Greenpeace and the UN.