The Suitable Candidate

told a acquaintance.
In the late 1990s, after the Russian default, I was sitting on the bench, and then a friend called me and offered to work, taking part in the election campaign in Mosgorodum. As it turned out, these were additional elections in one of the districts instead of the outgoing deputies. Our candidate was positioned as an independent and was little known to anyone, I will not remember his name. I was invited to walk around the apartments and collect signatures in support of him. For one received signature, the agitator was credited with twenty rubles. A friend assured me that in a day you can safely collect fifty signatures - it was a piece a day! Crazy money at the time, and I agreed without thinking.
But it quickly turned out that the team of the "independent" candidate was poorly prepared for the campaign. In the district did not disclose the visible agitation in support of our hero, on the hands of the agitators gave only a small leaflet with his biography, where there was not even his photo. After the first day of work, I almost collected nothing, but I realized that the most important thing in this case is a photograph of the candidate. Since no one knew him, I borrowed from the Internet photos of not very well-known, but photogenic Hollywood actors and Nobel laureates (those with very wise faces on official photos) - for voters of all ages, genders and social status.
Now I walked through the apartments, visually assessed the contingent of its inhabitants and, according to my assessment, presented a photograph. My affairs immediately went well, because I was almost not mistaken in this physiognomic practice, but one episode is remembered.
I found a blonde at 25 years old (blondes were already joking about then). I looked at her - a foolish fool, telling about the elections in pride, about our "independent candidate". And she’s just scratching, scratching her stupid eyes: “I don’t understand anything about your elections and candidates at all. What are they dependent on? of the drugs? You should at least look at a man who is all of himself." I was, of course, ready for that. Well, I think the movie actors show her dangerous, she may be aware. I take out the Nobel laureate’s portfolio. She tosses on him, knocking on his blind eyebrows, and wrapping with a butt. “That is not suitable. Do you have other candidates?” I’m not a fool showing another Nobel champion, and she’s curling her lips again! I had another photo of the Nobel laureate, I present. And then she finally satisfied: “But this is a suitable candidate. Both the German Ludwig Sternmer and the American Jack Steinberger received the Nobel Prize in Physics not by the case, but the French Pierre de Jean earned his Nobel Prize.
The blonde blinked at me, but still put her autograph on the signature sheet.