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10.04.2013
Achilles's Fifth
It all started with a modest announcement:
“Dear tenants, we urge you not to leave cars at the entrance between 9:00 and 18:00.”
At that time, the residents of the house did not know that this was a declaration of a great and bloody war.
The first floor of the house was occupied by a law firm with its lawyers, murdered guards and even a notary.
The company pressed tenants on all fronts, and it wasn’t even in the announcement. Well, you think, won the house a dozen parking spaces, not a bar, get stuck in the neighboring yard, the trouble is that the eternal line at the entrance to the office, from nine in the morning to six in the evening, clearly covered a narrow crossroads and in a "stone bag" were all fifty cars of the whole house.
In the morning, people tried to go to work, but the way was blocked every time, some pair of cars, with a crazy monsoon from the open doors, and in front of the cars, on the bunkers, the battalion fighters were sitting waiting for their turn to the notary. They had no place to hurry, and they were sitting on the road all day long. Whether organized cracks, or just brushes in the hands, I don’t know...
Scandalizing and fighting with them was pointless, and not because the spirit was lacking, just they, although they were all on one face and even with the same monsoon, but nevertheless, every day they were new fighters, who knew nothing about the history of yesterday's battles.
A toilet in the law firm was available, but only for staff, visitors actively used a vertically moving bio-toilet.
It came to the fact that even mothers with wheelchairs preferred to walk the stairs on foot, so as not to ride in the bio-toilet.
And the war was expanding, gaining momentum, but the enemies were lawyers, which on the paper side could not be digged into them. Rental and activities are legal, and conflicts with parking and toilet in the elevator are private affairs of visitors, for which the company cannot be held responsible. After all, this is a legal office - "Garant", and not a kindergarten - "Rodnik".
The besieged inhabitants called the district officer for negotiations at the highest level, but when they saw how carefully he wiped out his legs before knocking on the enemy’s headquarters, it became clear to everyone that this dispatched Cossack was not their assistant either.
Finally, the tenants reached the extreme - psychotic, gathered around the house and undertook a frontal attack on the office, but two balanced tanks in black costumes came out to meet them, they first silently pointed their finger to numerous surveillance cameras, and then to their cobbers - this somewhat cooled the dust of the attackers, the attack stung and went into a whistle.
The war would have ended in the final victory of the legal monster over the poor inhabitants of the house, but any, even the most brutal and powerful monster, has its Achilles's heel, only a hero is needed who can find it.
Fortunately, there lived such a hero in this unfortunate house. His name was Igor and he studied in the tenth grade.
Igor passed through all the apartments, collected a hundred rubles for the guerrilla war, advised everyone to stick and prepare for some inevitable military deprivations.
And people were ready for anything, they grabbed the hero's hand, baptized and kissed in the forehead, blessing for a combat feat. Everything for the front, everything for the victory.
Only a month later, the firm suffered a devastating defeat from Igor and one beautiful morning threw a white flag.
The enemy office withdrew and turned to an organized escape in an unknown direction, apparently in the search for enemies is easier.
Thus ended this great battle of the home hero – Igor, with the all-powerful Goliath.
P.S
And now I will demonstrate my telepathic abilities and try to predict your silent question, moreover, I will immediately answer it:
Having gathered from all the apartments for a hundred rubles, Igor sat in the subway and went to the Mitinsky market, there he, a little dealing, and acquired a terrible weapon of retaliation - a small black box with horns.
Returning home, our hero began to rub his horned box, every day, strictly - from the 9th to the 18th and from this all cell phones in the radius of 30 meters peacefully fell asleep until the evening and the house plunged into the nineteenth century.
But most importantly, the enemy headquarters remained completely unconnected.
What is a headquarters without contact?
So, a miserable bunch of potential prisoners of war in chromium boots...