officer

During my long life I have met not so many real officers, not in grade, but in essence. In the army there are more of them, in the militia there are also, but much less, but in order for a mint, and even a haishnik, to be an officer, I was lucky to encounter such only once in my life, and that, very, very long ago, when there was still no stupid word GIBDD.
As practice shows, we are not so upset that when we are stopped by a whistleblower, checks documents and does not try to fit our teeth into our wallet, but simply releases – such a person we already consider a beautiful person, but – it is not quite right, because then there will be not enough good words for those who truly deserve it.
So here is my story of meeting a real officer with the big letter.
Once I ran one from Moscow toward Lviv.
At a flat place, I was stuck and almost not exceeding the speed, stopped by a haishnik – healthy, mother of the captain, I, naturally, strained, stretched out the documents, but the captain gestured them and asked:
Where are you going?
In the direction of Kiev, and...?
“Then throw me down, there are seventy kilometers, you’re on your way.
I was glad that I did not break anything and naturally agreed.
He went in, placed his tall coat on the torpedo, covering half of the front glass, and said:
Go back, or we’re a little late. So listen to me carefully - don't look at the signs, today you can break anything, I am with you and always rejoice. Everyone went, went and went.
And we went.
I really violated everything I could, but everything I could not, of course, did not violate, life is one, that is, two (the captain did not count).
Sometimes, when the road was tight, we went to a meeting and my passenger, rushing out the window, with a magic rod pushed off the passenger cars.
At the stationary positions of GAI, we flew under the “brick” almost on flowers, bypassing concrete blocks and long queues before the sign “STOP”.
The haishniks made round eyes, but my captain showed them his enormous face and then in response they smiled and playfully threatened a finger in our footsteps.
And here, another stationary post, I am as always breaking all the rules, crawling around the meeting without a row, like suddenly behind a huge poster, my eyes open a terrible picture: a man of forty haishnikovs headed by a tall, thin colonel, in the strict expression of the face, apparently, the director of the nearest thousand kilometers of road, arrived with a check.
The Lieutenant Colonel quickly grabbed the stick from one of the subordinates and personally, according to all the rules, stopped me, approached the window, presented himself and asked for documents.
When you are stopped by a firearm, you in any case already feel a barely captured odor of sulfur, discomfort, increased radiation background and a slight pulse in the whiskers, but at the moment when my car was surrounded by forty inspectors of the earth with strict and irreconcilable faces, I felt like a cocklet in the infernal microwave. In any case, I was not too warm. And my passenger, someday, swallowed and turned into an empty police uniform lying on the passenger seat.
The Lieutenant Colonel took my documents and, without looking at them, handed them to the closest officer:
Form all “from” and “before”.
Comrade Lieutenant Colonel.
Then he looked at me and said:
- Yes, comrade driver, you surprised me, I saw different twists, but in the middle of the day, and also in the post of GAI - it is not in any gates: the sign "stop", the passage under the "brick", the non-observance of the marking, the exit to the lane of opposite traffic. All this leads to deprivation of rights, even if after a medical examination you are sober. Or did you think that once you have an employee in your car, then the rules are not for you?

I was silent and bleached in response to something unreasonable, imagining that I would be taken away right now, the car and then I would walk with two bags. Of course, my form of captain and word will not say against a whole Lieutenant Colonel and it can be understood. Where is she?
Not the fate, who knew?
Suddenly, the shape lying next to me suddenly filled with dull content and a stealing voice, spoke to me in the back of the neck:
- Well, why did you, comrade driver, listen to the music so much that you did not notice the signs, road signs and were at the meeting? Not in order, you know.
From these words I just exploded (apparently overheated in the microwave). I hadn’t expected such a shame from the captain. You can’t help, so sit quietly.
And I almost stumbled at the director of a thousand kilometers of road:
- Comrade Lieutenant Colonel, honestly, this is yours, with permission to say, the captain, when he sat down to me and asked him to take it, said: "Today you can break anything, I am with you, I will always take off, if anything..."

The captain whispered from my back:
- Why did you, companion driver, get too hot in the sun? How could I tell you this if I am an inspector of GAI? In addition to deprivation of rights, I will also condemn you for defamation.
All forty people were also very dissatisfied with my performance, they at once stunned, adding power to my microwave.
The Lieutenant Colonel astonished his eyebrows, looked at me, then at the angry captain, thought and said:
"Comrade Captain, although you and my old combat companion and colleague, but you know, for some reason I believe the words of this driver, whom I see for the first time in my life.
Comrade driver, since my subordinate allowed you to deviate from all the rules and promised in case of anything from everything to "sweep off", so on the other hand, he is still an officer of the police and gave the word.
Here are your documents, you can go, only from this place, please, according to the rules.
The happy path.
And you, Comrade Captain, stay here. Get out of the car and, as promised, start to “smash” this driver, and we will all be happy to listen.