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[ + 38 - ]
 18.06.2014
In the middle of the two thousand I lived in one of the "prestige" Moscow districts, the public and really there decent, on the street you rarely meet a bucharika and no nest parks on the sidewalks. I don’t know how now, I haven’t been here for a long time.
Our neighbor on the floor was a strange character, Uncle Lecha. A man who was stuck in the nineties. No, of course he did not have a hatchback, the raspberries jacket he obviously did not without effort change to dark grey, but the overall impression was still terrible. The mountain of meat, without the neck passing into the shaved neck and lying on the neck of the cheeks, raspberries (sic!) Color face with eyes skilled - on Uncle Leshe there was obviously very little salt, but the impression he produced was apoplexic, as if it was just now broken down and splashing everyone. We did not communicate very much, but we were friendly with his wife: a very intelligent lady, and the daughter in general an angel.
My uncle and I met in the elevator. Uncle Lecha had a pleasant smell of black-morning leaves, and I even thought Yulia had taught him herb tea, and made him a compliment. Uncle Lecha was even more red (at least where it was!) He took out a diplomatic liturgy. Do you want to eat? - I have to say, Uncle Lecha, apparently drawn by Yule on the rules of decency, was brutally embarrassed of his kind and constantly apologized, calling everyone on You, even my young wife, who was well suited to him as a daughter.
I was confused and accepted. From the throat. The liquid did not give alcohol at all, but only smelled a little of the same black rice. That’s how I met Absolut Black Currant.
The elevator finally arrived, and then Uncle Lecha showed a sudden kindness to me. I invited you to look at his new mansion, which he is building here, nearby, right behind the MKAD. I, squeezed by a good throat, found nothing to object, called back my loved one, that I am delaying, and we immediately went back down. Sitting me in the discovery of a wonderful mandarine color, the neighbor put the bat in the bottle and we went. I remember how we walked around the deaf traffic on the way out of the area, graciously swallowing the haishnik with a bottle. Haishnik smiled and turned away. I remember the chopsticks on the MCA and a turn with a whistle from the third row to the clutch. I remember badly.
We returned already dark, Uncle Lecha almost sucked the bottle and looked even wilder than usual. I tried not to look at him, I looked out the window.
At the entrance to the area we somehow had to get through the same country traffic jams, which we so badly bypassed at the beginning of the trip. Uncle Lecha, without stressing, pushed the nose of the SUV across three tightly standing rows, but in the fourth he was waiting for a colleague... Black cruiser, not willing to miss anyone in principle.
Uncle Lecha played peacefully in the distance. The corn producer issued the Fa. Uncle Lecha went a little further. The black also went forward, almost touching the orange disco bumper. Uncle Leshi’s eyes, like those of a charpee, completely came out of the orbits, his face filled with some already brown color. Without saying a word, he ticked a pipe, and the Discovery got up, getting twenty centimeters higher in a few seconds.
To my surprise, the uncle on the cruiser waved his hand in the window and cautiously drove back for half a meter. We have passed.
“That’s the same,” uncle Lecha gently stumbled. Everybody asks why there is a pneumatic suspension in the city.

and b.
Source: http://www.anekdot.ru/an/an1406/o140617.html#2
Eng

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