I am 42 years old, my friend Ruslan 50. 20 years old, post about him.

The case was 7 years ago. Ruslan was lonely and independent, no one needed a man. And all friends, including the author of the post, considered it their duty to arrange his private life) They invited guests, where, by chance, there was a girl who, by coincidence... was also free).

Actually the story itself.

Ruslan came to visit to his partner, it was Christmas. He was called for the first time and got a new job. There was a lady in the company, to whom Ruslan was invited. I also visited my wife, so I speak as an eyewitness.

The owner of the house declared confidently: "Rusia, go, be at home, today is a fateful evening for you."

In the guests was the sister of the owner of the house, Margaret. Lady 35 years old, two marriages and son of parents)

All night Ruslan tried to get close acquaintance with Margo) Toasts with a hint, every slow dance was white, guess who Margo invited)))

Ruslan was tired of this obsessive conspiracy, he became psychotic and left. The daughter of the owner of the house, nineteen-year-old Christina ran out of the trail, the shell forgot our failed bridegroom.

Escaped... and did not return home again. Back to Ruslan’s wife.

What was there. Scandals, curse and threats to kill the “young” husband.

Woman 19 and husband 43.

Everything was. And I write all this, I saw Ruslan today at 5 a.m. near the school. Standing in a row, I enrolled my daughter in the 1st class, he was a son. I ask how is it?

- Great, in 7 years we meet here, we are waiting for a daughter, Christina for 8 months!

and glowing of happiness)

I greeted him from the heart, and I think Christina’s father was right, saying seven years ago on Christmas to his guest that it would be a fateful evening.

I was recently at a birthday party with a friend.



In the midst of the fun, a common decision was made to play something. The owner of the house offered to play a game of the category "18+" and got the cards with all kinds of obscene questions about sex.



“The advantage of this game,” he explained, “is that you learn a lot of strange and unexpected things about others.



Someone asked him to give an example.

“Well, for instance,” replied the owner, “the last time I played it, it was a great shock for me to find that more than half of those who gathered saw nothing awful about masturbating in the presence of sleeping people.



I have long thought about it. But I never understood – why wake up people because of such nonsense?

The real boss of all the ways to solve the problem will choose the most uncomfortable for the subordinate.

The Czech Ministry of Transport has allocated €16 million for an internet portal to pay for travel on paid roads.
The programmers made it expensive. He has ignored.
Then 60 programmers in one weekend wrote this program and gave it to the state. Minister was fired.

Zhirinovsky proposed to rename the President of Russia to the Supreme Sovereign of Russia. I don’t understand, is he bent or is it such a subtle hint?
The last Supreme Sovereign of Russia was Admiral Kolchak, who was shot in Irkutsk.

I used one app yesterday to search for a bus to Moscow from another smaller city. At the appointed time, I come to the appointed place and sit in the car.

I realize almost immediately that I have not eaten anything since the very morning, but I did not ask for a stop for this, because I only had to go for a few hours, and I am a 27-year-old guy and I can tolerate it.

But thoughts about food refused to leave me.

Suddenly the driver turned his eyes to the right and asked playfully:

“Do you want to eat, Rabbit?”

And while I was shrinking for a few seconds from the question, the driver’s little son, who slept quietly in the back all this time and I completely forgot about, replied, “No, daddy, I don’t want to.”

He was comprehensively developed: poet, artist, musician, composer, photographer,
Dancer, actor, director, writer, critic, blogger, columnist, generally a creative person and media person. In a word, a worker without a profession

Do you admit that you took the house?
“Well, Major, hold up a little. What, are you going to do?
and no. Here is the pass, go from here.
What oooo? You let go?
Wally said! Go to!
...
“Listen, Kohl, you’ve been catching this bear for two years. Why let go? He will open someone else tomorrow.
And I do not believe. I think he has already stumbled. So say my wife, mother, father, and in general all the acquaintances - old politicians have already picked up, they no longer need...

Second course of university. We had exchange students from France. For reference, I didn’t understand a word of French before.



We stand with a friend in the university dining room, in front of two French women. They communicate, they laugh. He barely moves. I want to make a compliment to a French woman, but I don’t know a single word in French. I ask a friend to help me translate the phrase, “You have very beautiful blue eyes.” Well, a friend and helped, translated approximately as follows: "he smoke the rest of the enzimle set newies." Well, I was in bad French and said it to a girl I liked. The girl laughed and said in broken Russian that my friend was a bad joke, and she wrote my phone number on my hand.



Who would know that the girl understands Russian... Well, okay... In the evening after a couple we met in a cafe, I led her to the dormitory. The next day we met again... Then the meetings became regular. They lived together by the end of the year.



After graduating from college, I visited her for almost a month in a small village southwest of Lyon. A typical village, very similar to the Russian... the sidewalk was only on the main street, two-story houses were built almost close to each other. But the overall impression was rather positive, although I expected something different from France. Okay okay...



He lived and worked in Canada for a while. Then returned to Russia. and married. So we live together.



And the phrase I spoke somehow was translated as, “We could spend the night together.”

We play today with a family - I, my wife, two children - in Monopoly. I get a chance card, I take it, I read it out loud: "You win the lottery, you get 1 million." Just going to take a millionaire from the bank, as the wife says, "Show me a card."

We have been married for 20 years, we have two children, a paid mortgage, joint property, investments and more.

And here she suspects me of fraud with toy money))).

In short, for the future of my family, I am calm.

Where is the Sberbank Security Service?

Yesterday I fell asleep in the bus, it seemed like I had travelled through my stop, as if for some reason: "Help!", I flew into the front door. I understand that I was wrong, and I have to go again and go... I manage to jump into the back door and sit in my own place. It was silent in the bus, even the driver turned off the music.

A acquaintance told me. He was on the train SPB - Rostov recently. Smoking in trains is prohibited. He approached the conductor and honestly asked how it was possible to smoke in the tambour.

Buy a lottery ticket and smoke.

And the guard?

Show the ticket and all.

Standing and smoking. The guard passes and makes a comment. He shows a lottery ticket. The guard:

Keep it in your pocket so that we can see it every time.

Okay

told a acquaintance.

He lives on the 7th floor. There is an elevator. One morning, leaving the apartment, a neighbor from his floor saw him and quickly pressed the first floor button in the elevator so that he didn’t have time to go with her to the first floor.

He, not thinking long, broke to the 6th floor, pressed the lift call button there (and the lift when moving down stops on all floors where the buttons on the floor were pressed), and he ran down, pressing the call button on each floor.

Then he waited on the first floor already at the exit of her, kept the door open, and before her very nose closed the door.

Because it is not good to do the ugliness of the neighbors.

He went down and called the elevator. He drove up and stopped on my floor. He stopped and stood with the door closed for a few seconds. Inside the elevator someone knocked so loudly. No, it didn’t break, it just broke. It was immediately clear that the citizen was exactly stressed in order to get better off. I even guessed that the passenger in the elevator was in his pants. And then the doors of the elevator open and right in front of me stands a 45-year-old girl. Really well dressed and just as well looked good. She looked up at me, saw my open eyes and her face instantly became brown. “You go, I’m next,” I said.

I remember when I went to the kindergarten, the teacher started playing words with us.

He calls the letter, and we list that word on the letter.

The line came to the letter M. The children list: mother, baby, butterfly, etc. After a dozen screams, the children's vocabulary has exhausted itself.

Then I remember another word! I am very pleased! I would rather scream at him! In absolute silence I shouted, “Morga!”

After a minute of silence, the teacher says: There is no such word! It does not count!



I was very disappointed. In the evening, my mom said there was a word, but it wasn’t very suitable for children’s play.

As a small organization rendered me a service, I came to the office, paid the manager a service, and there is such a dialogue:

Give it, if anything, call it.

Of course, next time you need it, I will come to you.

- You, in general, men are normal, we can do you for 65% of the cost of everything.

So how about losing yourself?

There is nothing to lose, we have a 100% payment for the bad guys.

I am with a payment check.

In the 1990s, a representative of our television was listening to the seminar. He told, among others, an interesting story about his internship on American TV. The internship was at a small television company in a provincial town. Our interns were surprised by the following event: on a certain day, all the TV journalists went to work instead of the technical staff: each had a workplace, for which a person was prepared in advance. To the surprised Russians, the Americans explained that these are exercises in case of a tech staff strike: so that broadcasting is not interrupted, technicians in this case are replaced by strike breakers - journalists. Our asked if there are opposite actions: when technicians work for journalists, take interviews, make reports, - in case of a strike of creative workers. Now it is time to surprise the Americans. How can journalists strike? They were confused. All of them will be thrown out and others will be recruited. It is difficult to find a good technician, and journalists are a pond of ponds!”

The company in which I work is seasonal, respectively, all tractors / drivers / various workers were sent to winter vacation, and the "intelligence" continues to work. As a rule, the husbands are at home, and the wives leave for a full day in the morning.



I go into the accounting office, I hear the end of the conversation: "Her Cole is such a puppy! And it is not lazy for him to go out at seven in the morning, to spend to the road, to bring the bag, to swallow the pen!”

The women’s group “Oooooh! How cute!”

I: “Well, logically, you have to make sure I’ve gone.”

“Shitnik, ahahahaha... Ha... X... Suwauka”

My colleague and I live next door. The old private sector. And every working day, I first walk five hundred meters to his home, then we go together to work another kilometer and a half. Halfway between us is a two-storey house. All as appropriate, deaf brick fence, garage with automatic door. Until last summer, it was painted light yellow. Then the owner repainted it in gently pink. (No, don’t think, nice colors and no hassle.) It is distinguished, so to speak, from the surroundings. The orientation.

Often, if I was late, my colleague called and asked, "Where are you there, are you sleeping anything else?" Answer: I’m approaching / nearby / I’ve already passed. While he was yellow – “I’m going next to the ‘psycho’.” It became pink – “I go past the pig house...”

Yesterday, after reading the "Pikabutian", I missed the time of departure. Even on the street, it’s hard to go.

I call the phone:

Where are you, are you sleeping?

I'll go to the pork house, I'll be there soon.



Five seconds later, a scream over the fence:

“Your mother, what color do you paint it?”



It was uncomfortable.

The path to ideals is usually paved by the road. Unlike the highway to sin.