I went into the fifth room today, on the way from the landscape, for some products. I bought a dozen eggs, chocolate, a baton and a couple of packs of ice cream. I approach the box office, everything is done as it is in a medical mask, I look at the box office without masks three teenagers. And I hear that the boys incite each other, say ask to buy, not you ask. I think they don’t sell cigarettes because of their age, but when I’m asked, I never buy them.



I met one of them with a small look, and he had already begun to ask to buy, and I was already preparing to refuse him in the request, but he asked to buy them a pack of condoms... because in the box office because of the lack of a mask, they were not served. Well, in this request, I did not refuse them, I think young and green, I broke everything, gave the boys their promised packaging, and put the check in a package with products.



The experienced reader probably has already begun to guess that when I came home I laid out the products in the kitchen, laid out the check without a back-thinking, and at home the wife, and condoms we have not bought for several years...

I was small then. I went into the forest for mushrooms. We sail, we look for. My brother and I went out to the hill somehow, looked down, and there, in the pit (from which it was easy to get out, so they did not fall there) - the puppies. Three things. They were delighted and used to smooth them. Pappa calls us, we call back, he comes, too, from the hole of this he looked at us, on the puppies and... He throws a cage with mushrooms, we under the mouse and run away from there. We were angry at him greatly – such puppies are callous, and he took us away.

The man runs past the mommy and says, “Let’s run! “Mama is in confusion with him.

In front of the car came a long-running wolf from the woods. It was here that my brother and I arrived.

I was consulted by a 40-year-old woman. I’ve seen a lot of “non-mammots,” but I’d probably appoint her president of their republic.

She worked as a seller in a private grocery store. Well, how it went... Without any of your contracts and other unnecessary problems, the shelves stood up and everything.

The day of the salary is right, and the employer says to her: the money for the salary has not yet been earned, and I pay taxes for you in my native tax of 13%. You give me 13% of the salary promised by me, so that I am not in the shortage, and when we earn - I will pay you the full, this is the cross!

She borrowed from someone the necessary amount and gave it to him. And so three times. And only after three months, during which she received nothing, but properly paid her employer 13% of her virtual salary, she began to suspect something.

It should be said that no taxpayer received anything.

The hell genius employer, whose employees not only do the work, but also pay for it, will remain unpunished - aunt and still ameba, does not want to connect with him.

I work for a long time at a fairly large enterprise, we have a chief of chargers, we will call him Mohammed, and he has a son.

As you understand, Muhammad is a Muslim and I have set a corner for prayer in the warehouse.

(Prayers addressed strictly to Mecca)

After another prayer, he told me that his son (judging by the tone of bad guys) began dating a Russian girl!

I, he says, offered her to accept Islam, because God is the only God and you will not betray the faith.

I replied, you are absolutely right! God is one and your son can also become a Christian.

Why then in this moment Allah turned away from me and the chief of the burdeners sprinkled me with saliva from my legs to my head. What did I do wrong?

Russian superstars complain that they have lost their jobs because of quarantine, and the state does not help them.

And who prevents them from performing in underground crossings?

- On the backdrop of those who are already singing there, they will look like provincial self-activity.

When the eggs teach the chicken, it means they are already cool!

I read the story of an inadequate customer who wanted to get the goods at prices ten years ago, and remembered his youth. We had a small candlestick factory... well, not candlestick, a factory, in fact, an anchor, for the production of paints. For the production of banal pentaphthalene enamel, a pearl mill and components are needed, in fact, from the cost of components and equipment depreciation, a lion's share of the cost of the final product is formed. Conversation with a client, a young female voice:
Q (first phrase): Color is needed, PF, but cheaper?
I: Yes, not the question, but the minimum batch will be from 1 ton, and the enamel will not be according to GOST but according to TU.
Q: Why a ton?
I: Well you want to get a bad paint, so I will need you to run a line on making a bad paint, the minimum load of the line is ton.
Q: I don’t want a bad one, I need a guest with a certificate.
I: Yes, no question, minimum tar 50 kg, price on price, no discount.
Q: I need 2 kg of PF-837.
Here I was slightly sluggish, the client did not say a word that he needed the 837a, the most moving 115 and 266. We are ready to make 837, but order from ton, and if with a certificate, then a minimum period of 3 weeks, and the cost +10% to the price. I explain this to the clown.
Q: But I only need 2 kg, I need to paint the door.
I scare even more, because 837 is benzo and heat-resistant enamel, and 2 kg is definitely not enough for the gate (in two layers, at the expense of 80, and de facto 100 grams per square is just ten squares), and in general, it is a gateway to hell what if they have to hold up to 300 degrees? But the customer is crying, and says that nowhere can get 2 kg of this enamel, which is true, at that time such paints were not sold in retail.
Help me, very, very much needed.
Please hang on the line, I call the warehouse, the neighboring hangar with the hangar-factory, I ask if there is at least one barrel from 837. I found out that there is a barrel with 30-40 kg of base, left of some long-standing order, it would be necessary to mix it, and then it will go well.
I: Let’s come to the office (time between hangars) at... an hour after two.
The girl forgets to ask for the bill and apparently already runs to the car. I give the command to shake the barrel, find two pots for samples under the enamel, and a bowl under the powder, fill it and deliver it to me. I pack in a bag, because the banks are dirty to impossibility.
A beautiful girl who is 18 years old. I politely wonder if she knows how to use this paint, with horror I understand that the girl is going to paint something herself, it seemed to me, I give instructions, I understand that everything is useless, I breathe, and I give banks. I didn’t take the money, I didn’t raise my hand. Then I realized that there was clearly more silver than needed, I told the workers two banks of enamel and a bowl of powder, they were filled with souls, and I didn’t have the girl’s phone, to warn that less than a third of the banks needed to be filled. I breathe.
This would have ended if the maiden, already accompanied by a solid uncle, did not appear in the office without a call.
Uncle stretches the business card, a company for the manufacture of metal products, and on the go offers to conclude a contract for the supply of 30 tons of all kinds of enamels and soils, from PF and to CO and EF. It was our biggest contract that year. Then Uncle split up, he gave his youngest trainee a task to find 837, and we were the only ones who did not send a young girl with her 2 kg, and they did not get scratched, just gave a little bit, said that he often helps, that for his office a little bit, then for some kindergarten to solve the problem with street slopes and slopes.

Russian superstars complain that they have lost their jobs because of quarantine, and the state does not help them.
And who prevents them from performing in underground crossings?
- On the backdrop of those who are already singing there, they will look like provincial self-activity.

XXX is yes. Now I have the same feelings as after my father told me that Santa doesn’t exist.

YYY: My parents told me this too, the biggest disappointment in my life... And they had to do it on my birthday! I then couldn’t sleep for half a night and looked dullly out the window, hugging my knees... It was probably the worst thirty years in the world.

When I was young, I was terribly afraid to go home alone from the video show after "A Nightmare on Vyazy Street" or "A Rebellion from Hell." I lived then in a new city, among the frozen buildings and the fear added that the city was built on a fresh cemetery.

I usually ran out to the pub where there was this room called a video salon and ran away to the house. If there was no light in the entrance, and this often happened. I wore the whole garden – Mom!!! Open the door! He ran into the entrance and ran down the stairs without stopping.

It’s funny to remember how stupid it all seems.

This is not just for the taste of comrades. No taste as much as you want.

The customer is not always right. The customer is different.

The story happened in my being of a fun sold. In general, I sold a complex technical product in wholesale and retail in the fields of entrepreneurship in the sense that I was the boss of myself, I sold, I bought and even sometimes I loaded the goods in the warehouse. The times were fun, I was so well pumped, carrying equipment of 25-30 kilograms without scratch. At home I was rarely seen. Then I found a “interesting” buyer.

I want to buy this for $15. Is it available?

There are a lot of them, the price is $ 1000 per piece, VAT included.

Do you send it to TC?

“Let’s deliver,” I said, “why not deliver it?

Why is it all so expensive?

I mindfully estimate the cost, the price is really good, the interest rate is 7-8 lower than the market, and also with delivery: - Yes, no, good price. Buy 80 pieces, I’ll drop $20 more, so apologize.

I bought it cheaper in 2008. You have it! Number is recorded. It was 33 thousand rubles.

- Let's import goods, you look at the course for 2008 and now. The price is in dollars one by one, I said proudly.

- Well you are trading in Russia, what does it matter to me that the goods are imported?

I, frankly not understanding whether the guy is cracked or not, scratch the back of the neck: - Well, you have no difference, and the manufacturer of the goods in the United States has a difference. He buys raw materials in dollars, he pays workers in dollars, I buy in dollars, I sell in rubles at the exchange rate, all logically.

- Now the crisis in the courtyard, give a discount. Then went a 15-minute monologue, that he is a client, he means, he says, the client must be appreciated, he already took 6 years ago and will still take, and without the client there is no life. In short, everything was reduced to "I used to take 33 000 rubles and now I want to take 33 000 rubles too. I get a discount now, that’s okay.”

Sorry, we can not. If you give this product for 33,000, I am ready to take it from you for 40,000 right now, and so I get it for 58,000. have agreed? - and I really can't cut the price in the 2nd end, because my net margin is around 7%. There is just nowhere.

No need to hammer. Call your boss and talk about something else.

tk. I am myself the boss, then I just give the phone of the office, although it would just have to send it in three letters. But I’m polite... Naturally, after 2 minutes of calling, the secretary switches to me, from there they complain about me extremely thoroughly for 3 minutes in very different expressions.

I know, you talked to me.

I asked the boss!

Who am I in your opinion?

Most importantly no one?

“No,” I say, “you can call the director, but I hired him myself, so he won’t fool me.

I will take the competitors.

Yes, for the sake of God, take from competitors, all prices in dollars, even in China. I am not deceiving you. Open the website of any distributor in the United States, there the price will be exactly the same. In the dollars.

Okay thank you.

I put on the phone and exhaled. Okay, mostly customers are adequate, and there is a real crisis in the court. The brains flow in people. The most interesting thing for the customer is that almost the entire group of goods supplier I, so came out over the years of building a career. Thus e. I sell the product A, its closest analogue B, the cheaper analogue B, and even have the Chinese very bad variant G, which other than G is real and cannot be named. The sites are different, the phones are different, the girls sit different, but in the end the main is still sold to me. In the company selling the goods, B. stumbled there on a girl with the same logic of dollar prices and after 15 minutes asked the boss, i.e. and me. The secretary redirected him again. At one “allo” he didn’t recognize me. I had to interrupt it at the most interesting.

Is it you again? He burst out.

Well, if we are on you, it’s me again. No call to G.

There is no one else.

What shall I do? We sell the premium segment, we sell the economy and here is the direct Chinese economy. And we sell all the cheaper, actually, that’s why we work.

Then I will complain to FAS. You have set up a monopoly here and the prices are knocking in two ends!

Well, I think only in the FAS on a small business with four positions did not complain.

Do you think he calmed down? No is. He started calling all the partners that take from me for implementation in the regions. And everywhere it was priced from 1100 to 1200 dollars, which is understandable. Requests came from everywhere: from Kaliningrad to Vladivostok. The client did an amazing job over the next two weeks, sincerely believing that someone would sell him the goods in rubles at the 2008 exchange rate. He actually called the whole country (!). I have never seen such perseverance. By that time, our offices had issued about 40 different proposals on forms, issued 15 invoices and separated themselves from most reasonable intermediaries by explaining the situation. The people were betting on whether requests from other countries would come. And yes, we received a couple of requests from Belarus and Kazakhstan. The customer even contacted the representatives of manufacturers in the U.S. and demanded to explain why their distributors sell in Russia, focusing on the dollar, rather than keeping the price in rubles as decent people believe. The capitalists had difficulty answering and even copied their legal department for some reason.

Call in three weeks.

Hi to you, Bambi. Okay, I will buy from you.

and no.

What is not?

You will not buy.

Why is?

And they ended up in the warehouse, I lied, not red. I’m a very patient person, but it even got me. At least 15 is a real deal.

How is it? Why don’t you keep your warehouse?

Hold on, but now it is over.

And when will they be?

without a notion. The dollar is jumping now. We decided not to bring this group yet.

- Well enter the position, I need urgently, I am a repairman, I need to hand over the object.

Well, three thousand dollars.

Why Why?! to

Well, I’ll need to bring these 15 pieces separately now, specifically for you. Did you know that logistics also takes in dollars?

The guy throws the phone, he has a natural hysteria. An hour later, his boss presumably calls and asks with an unobtrusive voice to find out who has offended the courier.

Are you all there? I think, but I am silent, gathering with thoughts. I explain the whole situation from the beginning briefly and thoroughly.

He thinks, he sows, he is silent.

And what to do now? You are destroying the object.

Three weeks the guy was doing shit, and the object is broken down by them, ok.

Do I know what to do now? Your man did not buy at a low price, three weeks tried to the price of 2008 in rubles at a perfectly understandable schedule, and are we to blame?

“Solve the problem,” said the comrade and threw the phone. Okay, I think now the performer will call again, ask for the bill. But no one called me that day.

A call on Monday.

Did I know you won’t solve the problem? The boss asked the comrade again.

In the sense?

Well, we wait until you give us options on how to buy at a low price now. Do you value customers?

- Let's do this: you buy from any of our partners, we don't get cooperation, there is no understanding at all. Let us not torture each other.

Well and great.

A call in a few days.

Your partners don’t give us your price. and settle. They all have $1,100-1200, and you have promised us $1,000. Will you solve the problem or not? The project is burning!

You know what? Go you to the pole and let the bears love you there, I said in a few different expressions.

Do you know who you are talking to?

"With the polarist-homosex, apparently," I put the telephone, added it to the blacklist and asked never to connect with this comrade again.

Then two times came to us some shy as first-time students of LLC, but, having received the price of $ 3,000, withdrew. Eventually the director called me. At that time, I ran and checked which company was there. It turned out that these were small repairers with a turnover of 15 million. There were three stages of decision making. The director asked if I was a hunter or a fisherman. That we need to go hunting together, all discuss that it is not possible to start cooperation like this. I hanged the telephone and thought that the chicken spring had come to all of us, and then I went on holiday for a week. His Nafig is. And the goods were eventually sold to them by our partners for $ 1,300 with a deferral, but they never received the money. What should have been expected. These are the kinds of people, but the normal ones are more.

Our leader is very sensitive to the aspirations of the Russians. After all, it is about the Victory Parade that the Russians are now thinking. About the parade and quite a little about the fear of dying from the coronavirus, staying without work, without money. The most important thing is the parade.

In the middle class, we had an economic game. The essence was that the "tasks" were hanged - there, to green the floor, to set up a roof, to remove snow, etc. Each student could come and take a task, the school currency (marks with a stamp) was given for the performance. At the end of the auction, where real things could be purchased for marks (backpack, magnetophone, etc.) I decided to show the guys how to make money. I showed it is true :)



From the upper classes there was an initiative group ("committee"), which distributed tasks, checked and paid marks. Students could gather and propose to the committee their task for the benefit of the school (to write, justify, etc.) If the committee agreed on it, it was included in the list and new brands were released under it (you catch up, right?and :)

So here. There were those who worked. For example, removed the snow - honestly got 20 marks. Someone tried to buy or sell brands. There were those who stood in the committee and "solved issues" - to get a good task, close the taken, etc. But the most clown was with new tasks. The closer to the auction, the more they appeared. Check all doors in the school - 100 marks! Read a lecture on the PDD - 200! Naturally, they were immediately “after somebody.” Some were executed on the same day. To come to the committee and offer a new task became impossible - a lot of work, we have a turn:) Everything only through "solved".



When the auction began in the courtroom, the prices started from thousands. "Workers", who accumulated 200-300 marks, just left - nothing to catch. Everyone bought “barricades” and “grills”. The teachers looked at it with square eyes. The "committees" could not participate in the auction, but they all then cheated with the players from the auction. Some teachers said it was a circus, even threatened to “discover.” But then everybody got hit.

This was a short course on the characteristics of Russian business.

The state is an institution that restricts the freedom of citizens in order to expand its own.

Project department of the construction office.
Another employer arrived. Sounds the task:
I have an unconstructed one-story building in the city center. built under the office. Can you complete it and project another floor to get a two-storey building, but only with a flat roof?
We can.
Will the roof be flat?
Why not? If you want a flat, we will.
I thought :
- Or maybe you can and three-storey, but with a flat roof?
It can also be three-storey. Why is it so important for you that the roof is flat?
The man, smiling quite:
I’ll put another floor up! by Sam. Then somehow!
I stared at him:
So if you need a four-story building, we can design a four-story building for you.
Customer with caution:
Will the roof be flat?

The largest number of moving parts are in the sand clock, and the largest moving parts are in the solar.

It happened a week ago, but the situation only allowed today.

As I said before, I sell my own knives and sell them through eBay and Etsy.

and 99. 5% - butts: just silently buy what they need, ask a couple of questions, and that's all. This is the best type of client.

There are cascades, but very rarely. But recently I got burned. (K is the client)

A client from Canada wrote to me.

K - Good, I want to buy from you chiridashes (such small knives of interesting shape). Are you sending to Canada?

I – Yes of course. Now with the mail is a problem, but I use the service of another mail organization, and they deliver quickly. Canada is about 12 days away.

Q - Okay, then I have two chiridashes, and can they make cheetahs from kaidex?

Yes, I have no problem.

He takes two small knives, and I note my order to the table.

One day passes, and he again.

K is Hi! How is my order? )

I am good! It will be ready in a week, as described in the description. Everything on time!

K is good. Can I get two more curls?

I – Yes of course. I will do. Just make a purchase, and I will report in one package.

Q. Can I get a gift? I took two rentals yesterday, and I think you won’t have to report anything to me :)

I did not quite understand him here. I read it 5 times and thought that my English was really bad.

What do I mean by “gift”?

Q - Well, times are tough, there are not so many customers now, and I have made two purchases. I think it makes sense to show your loyalty to the buyer. You don’t want a bad response, right?

Oh you p@dars! This guy is really threatening me. I adhere to the policy that any conflict should be resolved as peacefully as possible, and if I am at least to some extent wrong - it is better to return the money. But this is the first time I meet that I am so threatened in the face! And the most evil thing is that I can no longer cancel the order: it has paid, and according to the rules of the service has the full right to leave a review.

I – yes, of course I will.

K is great! I wait!

I did not argue with him. Muddak thinks he is the smartest and has to do with a poor master from a third world country: but fuck you.

I scan our dialogue and write to Admin Atsi. They are, of course, those still fools, and almost in any situation are on the side of the client, but here they even fainted. They said they will get it done.

A week passes and I get the answer: The user is blocked because he repeatedly violated the rule of the resource, the transaction is cancelled.

The store stood up on my side, the cattle was blocked, and even the money didn’t have to be returned.

Is that what a man has in his head? It’s a pity that he took the two cheapest knives, but it’s still nice. I hope that this down has made several such orders at once from others and now has flown for a round amount.

Peace to you and good customers!

Engaged in opening the locks, and more specifically what should be closed and opened accordingly.

So, there is an application from the controller, you need to open the door, documents in your hands, a drunk husband procureed the keys... I come and watch the painting with oil, the blue body is on the site, next to the aunt with the documents in your hands... We specify the cost of opening and the price of replacement, the opening is agreed, and we will make the replacement of the type ourselves, you only get the old one. Well okay we work... I opened, I got the lock, gave it to my aunt and I gathered the tool. As soon as I gathered, I realized that my aunt merged with the castle unnoticed and naturally did not pay for the opening. I picked up her number, took it and said, like the husband lost the keys, let him pay, and this reminds me of an absolutely blue body, that is, in shit... Well, I had to carefully twist the wagon along the perimeter and twisted the door to the metal to the box. The wagon to the place and home... Three hours later, the truth for a triple price and "money in front" "opened" again. While re-opening, the aunt was crying that the shit didn't run it, but then it all came up: there is no castle, there is nothing to take, the husband will wake up flooded into the apartment and will be closed on the roofs, and she will buy a new castle...

Sitting in the kitchen, 3 children, 9 years old, 6 and 3, began to jump on me, I on the couch under them started pretending, whispering, saying that it was hard to breathe and to tear. He pretended to be unconscious. As a result, the elderly was still trying to check the breath, the heart beats or not, the warm or already cooled, but after 30 minutes everyone decided that Daddy is asleep (although the elderly paid attention to the absence of snoring), a little bit of me struck, assessed what a hike went out, ran and while Daddy "sleep" swallowed tea and got a candy. As a result, the rescue is hardly worth waiting, but the children can make a living.