bezdna.su — the best quotes and jokes from the abyss!



[ + 29 - ] Comment quote №103459
 30.09.2014
XXX: Did you send the same resume?? to
YYY: Oga
yyy: I only had a photo in the resume.)
Yyy: How I fuck Semenovich with a machine in my hands
YYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY That is why I took photoshop skills, ch.

[ + 22 - ] Comment quote №103458
 30.09.2014
Do you know these stupid demotivators with the signature "guess the country from the photo"?
Today I found one where people are pushing the tram.
And you know what? I did not guess, I found out. Not only the country, but also the city. of Irkutsk.

[ + 21 - ] Comment quote №103457
 30.09.2014
The story is now happening - rub all the department. In the morning I had to come a courier from Aitishnikov - to take my laptop for repair. I have prepared everything. Here the courier calls me on the phone, says - I just came, but your guys roughly sent me and the laptop did not give, get there, type. Sometimes the door bells, sometimes it doesn’t ring. I realized that he was calling, but the call just didn’t go and he left with nothing. I tell him – get up again and call more persistently or knock stronger on the door. Three minutes pass, he calls me again on the phone and says in the style – “Are you there at all?”

In short, it turned out: the courier was given the wrong address and he went to the house 4a, and we at 4. Now imagine: he woke up a man there and began to demand a laptop from him. The man ask in confusion, he says, I will not! The courier said – we have agreed! I don’t know anything, I don’t give it and it’s all. The courier fell into a stupor, called me, and I sent him again to the same man, and he went back to pick up his note. I would like to see this picture.

[ + 25 - ] Comment quote №103456
 30.09.2014
The silent mouse has its pros and cons.

Plus: you can play online toys and do not attract attention to yourself with a nasty click.

Minus: the absence of a nasty clicking creates the impression that you are not doing a nihua.

[ + 24 - ] Comment quote №103455
 30.09.2014
How can it be worse in personal life??? Have you amputated both hands?

[ + 20 - ] [1 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №103454
 30.09.2014
Announcement of Cyanide
All of us!! We read very carefully. The apartment was empty in a murdered state for 30 years in the apartment lived the owner with 30 yo cats. The smell of cat’s urine is such that you get stuck. surrender for a long time. Consider all decent people willing to live in such a situation. But for themselves, people can improve the condition of the apartment for their money. Just drive customers to smell the apartment is not necessary. Only those whom the smell of urine does not hurt. Look at the photo.

[ + 25 - ] Comment quote №103453
 30.09.2014
The game "Zenga" is very similar to Russia: you have to steal so that everything does not collapse. Well, or it collapsed, but that you are not to blame.

[ + 23 - ] [1 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №103452
 30.09.2014
They began to write a protocol—and their mother named her surname—and the protocol was written on her. Then I wrote about it in a local newspaper. But nobody has ever understood what it is for L. Melnikov :)
___________________________________________

A funny story happened with my friends, a family couple, the will of fate, carrying the same name - Melnikov. For the last 18 years they have lived in the United States, where it all happened. When buying a new car, they registered it at the dealer center. The dealer enters into his papers the name of his husband - Melnikov, and his wife - Melnikov. For a second, he thought, and asks his husband: "Alex, you are one family, why do you have different surnames?"" A man with a Soviet sense of humor could not tolerate such humour, and said: "You understand, we have a tradition in Russia - when a girl marries, the letter "a" is added to her surname at the end. So if you see someone with two or three "a" at the end - run." All this with an absolutely stone face expression. They formed and fled. The next day, a call from this dealer said, “Alex, I told your story to all my colleagues who are standing next to me now, and they can’t believe you, the Russians, are so clever. Please confirm, plz...". "Yes, it is so." - with the utmost dignity possible said Uncle Sasha, and already, putting the telephone allowed himself to smile in his mouths: "That will still be!"))

[ + 29 - ] Comment quote №103451
 30.09.2014
"Russia-1" in the morning: "The districts will be chosen at the people’s meeting." You, blade, still the evening bell "in the area" hang.

[ + 33 - ] Comment quote №103450
 30.09.2014
Therefore, only mass shootings will save Russia)))))
YYY: It did not help...
Well, it’s like going to the bathroom, if not regularly – it won’t help.

[ + 29 - ] Comment quote №103449
 30.09.2014
The Lants:
In the training
I love the hall.
People come here in Adidas.
They wear beach shorts and shirts.

[ + 30 - ] Comment quote №103448
 30.09.2014
XXX: Greetings
YYY: YYYYY
XXX: How about yourself?
As a wave
XXX in the meaning? O_O
Up, down and down, up and down, up and down, down and down, down and down, down and down. :D

[ + 26 - ] Comment quote №103447
 30.09.2014
Hubble, the space elevator post:

xxx: to the ISS 400 kilometers, and to Peter 700. However, the ticket to the ISS is also more expensive.
To me here, Captain Evidence tells me that he read a textbook of physics for the 6th grade of high school and understood a little about potential and kinetic energy. To lift an object for 400 kilometers, you need to apply a little more energy than to move it for 700.
Yyy: No one guessed just taking a section of the railway and bending the rails up :)
Zzzz: No, it won’t work out. Snip 32-01-95
The limiting deviation shall not exceed for high-speed railways, high-speed railways and category I - 18 o/o, II - 20 o/o, III - 30 o/o, IV - 40 o/o.

[ + 22 - ] Comment quote №103446
 30.09.2014
Once brought a small slide into the universe, any textbook is read by voice through the system speaker (still on the AT bodies). They wrote in the textbook "Lomonos - brake" (the name of the teacher) and put it in the auto loading when the screw was launched. The group that followed us stumbled, and the reed sat, scratched his beard all the way trying to find the cause of the sound when loading, and then raised his finger to the sky and said, “...probably it’s a virus!” Is that why we were so angry?

[ + 31 - ] Comment quote №103445
 30.09.2014
Quentin Tarantino has made a personal contribution to the fight against Ebola.

He sent as a gift to Africa a sign "Dead Niger Storage".

[ + 25 - ] Comment quote №103444
 30.09.2014
xxx: Finally there is a question that I will never answer – why did I buy a goat simulator?

[ + 20 - ] Comment quote №103443
 30.09.2014
It is bad for a people when a king is without a king in his head.
And right. We need a recursive king with a great depth of investment.)))

[ + 26 - ] Comment quote №103442
 30.09.2014
Disposition: I (about 50 years old), a maid (under70) and a granddaughter (2,5). Soccer started, the granddaughter runs in, looks 5 seconds on the screen and with the words "it's a bad cartoon" turns off the TV. He holds his finger and asks to play. Resistance is useless!

[ + 29 - ] Comment quote №103441
 30.09.2014
Discussion of a recent concert of a rock band in VK:
xxx: I address a young man who was reluctant to kick off his legs during the cover at Break Stuff: go naked, don’t come to the ballet.

[ + 27 - ] Comment quote №103440
 30.09.2014
The dispute over the name change is expected to be gender-related.

Here is my dear ones! In the twenty-first century, it may be enough to spread the heresy of the "continuation of the family by the father and mother".
Scientific knowledge is now available to all segments of the population. Finally read popular genetics, and let the light of Knowledge fall on you!
At the same time, maybe you will stop bragging strangers and carrying nonsense about "no" and sit without a man with your foolish surname!

The change of the surname of an adult independent person is a purely personal matter.

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