Two trades on the local forum almost in a row
1st
British scientists have found that men who betray their wives are latent homosexuals.
2 is
today I dreamed that the guy is deceiving me.. waking up in a cold sweat, I look at him, quietly bumping around myself, and no suspicion of anything..to fall asleep so I couldn't, so I went to look for evidence..and found a message from the address Valer with the text "good night Rabbit"

Survey on Facebook:

How to stay with her at night?

Providing breakfast in bed

Bringing the Sumeric Trilogy

Install it on your computer WOW

xxx: I have a question to you, as a professional, as a person with enormous experience in any field
YYY: No, don’t make me crazy. What is the question?
Why are Angry Birds pigs green?
YYY: ROFL

The lawmaker had a favorite phrase "No one can be considered guilty until his guilt is proven".
Did you read anything again?
No one can be held guilty until his guilt is proven.
Well, here is another matter.

You haven’t prepared for the exam.
No one can be held guilty until his guilt is proven.
Well, there is something to talk to you.

You wrote everything.
No one can be held guilty until his guilt is proven.
Give me a look ?

What’s going on with Rita?
Tomorrow I’ll go out and ask about the guy.
YYY: It turns out he has it.
YYY: And I’ll go naked.
YYY: that is all.
xxx: mm, plan is planned, by points thought out

For many people, walking with time is like standing in a traffic jamming.

My friend’s son entered the U.S. police. He began to travel (as he dreamed) in a service car with a flashlight and a syrene, violating any rules and speed limits. In the rear compartment of such a car there is a camera for the arrested, where a person is only enough to press, to block the door behind him, and nowhere for nothing to get out - the doors are immediately automatically silently locked.

However, it soon became apparent that the arrested had a very unpleasant manner of expressing their disrespect to the police officer by splashing his head back to them through the window connecting the compartments of the car. Moreover, the policeman can do nothing, because he is driving the car at this time and looks at the road, not the arrested, to notice who of them spit?

The Russian sage immediately suggested to the new police officer a brilliant rationalizing idea: to insert an unbreakable glass into the hole and thus to forever protect his neck from plugs. He asked his more advanced brother to help with the installation of this glass. But to do this on the territory of the police station feared - it is unknown: how this innovation will be treated by the bosses and colleagues. Another good thing will be jealous and invited somewhere, that the newcomer will see if the plowks are scared and rework the car without permission.

We left the city in a deserted place, turned off the shutdown and alarm system, successfully installed the glass, but after that, for some reason, the camera stopped locking. Whatever our masters did with it, it elementarily opened from the inside. That is, any arrested person could at any moment press the door pen and escape. Time was squeezing, it was time to hand over the car and the shift, the brothers were wet in hard work, but could not do anything with the cursed door and its lock.

And finally, their stubbornness was rewarded: the door clogged exactly as it was supposed – intentionally, without the slightest hope for the arrested to get out of the car. It is only a pity that this deserved success came to the brothers precisely at the time when they were both in that same chamber. And a place to modernize the car, do not forget, they chose the most that is unpopular.

Now the police of the city no longer have problems with the difficult surname of their new colleague: everyone immediately understands who it is, if you simply say "who locks himself in the car."

If a woman has no clothes, that doesn’t mean she trusts you.
If you don’t have makeup, then yes.

Sasha we go?
P.N.N: I didn’t sleep from my feet today.
Was it a fun night?and ;)
PNN: Ah, not that word
PNN: Yesterday, my phone was stolen on the street, no, the guy was not stolen. So I dreamed at night that they were crashing into my home and let the computer check! And there all the gaps are broken and 800GB of movies are scattered!I am in horror trying to escape through the window, but I am tied up and taken to jail. And there I sit in the same chamber with Navalny and my neighbor, who was imprisoned for the robbery 5 years ago! And Nawalny is like, “Well, I’m fine, but you’ll be given eight years!”
Sasha: *rolf* *rolf* *rolf*
I jumped all in the sweat and from 4 in the morning I was sitting in the kitchen smoking.
Sasha: Well, actually two questions:
What kind of window do you have if you have a 6th floor?! to
Sasha: Well, how did Navalny not fall in spirit?)))
PNN: You are the same!! Go to Fuck!! to

The xxx:
Well hz really))) I love the new year))) a fun holiday, everyone is walking around joyful, kind, everyone around radiates happiness and positivity)))
You walk like this in the middle of the night on the street, shouting “Happy New Year!”
And you answer from everywhere – “with new happiness!”))

The xxx:
On the day of awakening what?
I shouted, “All on Monday!” and you answered, “Go on!”“111”

In the Middle Ages, all kinds of knights often gave names to their weapons. Well there is the sword Escalibur, the bow of Jalo, and so on. I have a knife in my office. This is the name of a knife!! to

He arranged a diversion at work - brought the iris "Kis-Kis" (Soviet, iron concrete). Now no one talks to me... no one talks to me at all!))))))))))))))))))))))

Worontzoff: The polling stations will be equipped with cameras where observers will be placed during the counting of ballots.

Other people are like worms - they can only live normally in dirt.

About the fall from the height of 19.12.11 told the builder to whom there is confidence. They had a brigadier at the building, who had the habit of sitting down and smoking on the shelves on the very edge of the roof. At the same time, he materialized those who worked downright. At the time of history, the building was 4 floors tall.
He sits, smokes and mates. And from the back comes a TV engineer and slightly so (to learn as if) - catch up for the shoulders of the specialty....Well, how did he know that the specialty was just thrown on the shoulders of the brigadier.
The body is flying down, the TV engineer with a speck in his hands falls immediately on the roof to faint, and the body of the brigadier from below is already the motherboard of this joke.
It turns out, he fell on a huge bunch of ceramzite (slip so, slipped).
He remained alive and unhealthy, and an engineer with a heart attack in the hospital.

A grandmother who can write essays is called a witch.

Comments on the article "How to get rid of handcuffs":
If you’re in the trunk of your car, what do you do?
Yyy: If at night and in the woods – it’s just a bad sign.
Zzzz: Look for the positive in everything! I am sure this will be the last bad sign in your life! and :)

If a person has music instead of whistles, tell him about it. He may not know, the opossus itself connects all this service in order to push the bubble.

To ensure security and stability, the Republic will be reorganized into the first Galactic Empire.
Emperor Palpatine, Star Wars, Part III

The cross. and zebra. The green light.
From the standing cars ahead rolls out a fashionable lady on a jeep, rides on the "zebra" and slightly touches the walking man.
Man speaking to the driver "Look at it! People are going"
The maiden drops the glass to argue, but instead only the loud whisper of a little dog comes out of the car.
The man is embarrassed "Okay girl. Do not worry like that. Who does not go" and goes away.
The girl becomes a beet color and silently raises the glass.

The curtain.