bezdna.su — the best quotes and jokes from the abyss!



[ + 33 - ] Comment quote №147445
 19.12.2017
xxx: this is not a picture of "My husband on the couch". This is a live broadcast!

[ + 26 - ] Comment quote №147444
 19.12.2017
xxx: *flegmatic* Per it wasn't the best idea for a friend's joke to my girlfriend to answer "Such a cow needs himself"...

[ + 26 - ] Comment quote №147443
 18.12.2017
I just brought her three-year-old to her first tree, I expected this day probably more than she did.
And what then? Ivan rescues Fun on a flying ship under the hymn of the USSR.

[ + 23 - ] [1 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №147442
 18.12.2017
Discussion of Family Life:

newbob: Do you know how a good but new reducer works? The seedlings throw and warm, though in lubrication. Over time, they are rubbed and start working quietly and with normal heating. But the process is mutual. Only the material of the hose should be selected, or one will be erased faster, and it will have to be changed.

[ + 31 - ] Comment quote №147441
 18.12.2017
Furthermore, the cognac with lemon is snacked, not forgetting to leave the little one.

The PFF! What do you know about subtlety?
Throw a piece of chocolate in a glass of champagne, and then twist with a mixer made of wire from a block - this is a real sign of a refined taste!

[ + 23 - ] [1 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №147440
 18.12.2017
I raise the question..what is the hernia in the documents...I turn to the technicians...the technicians transfer the problem to production..the production is coming to me tell me...I say go nahuy I initially raised the question
Idiots are angry.

[ + 22 - ] Comment quote №147439
 18.12.2017
I called the bank. Such a feeling that the operator previously worked in "sex on the phone".

[ + 26 - ] Comment quote №147438
 18.12.2017
Goa is washing at every step! Healthcare everywhere and everywhere. Cows on the beach!
Why are they so dirty? What are the reasons?
Cows cannot recycle rubbish.

[ + 30 - ] Comment quote №147437
 18.12.2017
I go to the security department, where I saw the head of the department and an employee of some department (evidently seriously guilty)
“Well, fighter, you only have two options: dismissal on your own, or on the article.
I don’t know, I have to think...
Start: (with open eyes and bloodshed eyes) are you o@#el? 3 lashes of sleep #@%l! What to think!? to
Employee: So how is it? I just passed the test period, not even a month! Do you know who my dad is?
Start: I know, of course, he is the deputy of my emphasized, and he has now begged me not by article to dismiss you!!! to
Don’t make it worse! Let me work!
After I closed the door, no longer seeing what and how I heard behind the door of the armor belt and someone’s scream begging to stop self-judgment.
An hour later, a guy with a red face came out of the office and clearly insulted the evil curse in the direction of the office.
To my question about what happened there, I was answered with a clearly proud face: "I am tired of working here and I resigned on my own.
I don’t think this guy will do anything even as a courtier.

[ + 29 - ] Comment quote №147436
 18.12.2017
Oksana: How are you?
Tagged with: Huyachu
When to rest?
Tagged with: vodka hyaču hd

[ + 25 - ] Comment quote №147435
 18.12.2017
by MVL777
Let’s have sex today.
Julia
Are you exactly writing to me?
Julia
I said that sex ruins friendship.
by MVL777
Go with her, with friendship.

[ + 36 - ] Comment quote №147434
 18.12.2017
XXX: Ladies and gentlemen! I would like to honor Monday morning with a minute of mourning.

[ + 28 - ] Comment quote №147433
 18.12.2017
I went to the store 30 minutes ago. He left the apartment, went into the elevator and stuck.

Press the lift button:

I’m stuck, this is the address.

“Well, you don’t go anywhere, the mechanic will come in 15 minutes,” they told me and asked why, “you’ll wait for him?” ! to

and? ? to ? to I’ve been waiting for half an hour, I’ve been waiting for half an hour.

[ + 27 - ] Comment quote №147432
 18.12.2017
From the description of Russian follaut-like game:

Like in Fallout, battles here are step-by-step, and for any action you have to pay with points of movement. Knowledge of the series will instantly include the mode of target shooting, allowing you to choose which part of the body to shoot.
He fell on his feet and the enemy became worse. The accuracy fell in the eye. And so on"

But it seemed – if you hit the eye – the brains flew out from the reverse side.

[ + 28 - ] [1 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №147431
 18.12.2017
He came to Sberbank to put money on the card, inserted a new 2000 ruble banknote into the ATM. The bank does not accept.

I called a girl consultant. She said to try to insert the note on the other side. He does not accept. Then she asked to look at the bill, because she didn’t see it alive. Then she said that it was better to exchange it at the Sberbank. No change without a passport. I have no passport. They said, maybe sell to somebody in the crowd of customers. No one needs those 2,000 rubles. Even to change. The woman came out and said go to the dining room next to there change. I went exchanged.

In addition, you need ATMs - put the dining rooms directly in the Sberbank building.

[ + 33 - ] Comment quote №147430
 18.12.2017
The case happened not so long ago. I got sick and needed a kidney transplant. Our family has no such money, accordingly we asked for help from our relatives and friends. My mother has a girlfriend. Her husband is very devout, he reads prayer and everything in this way. The wife, as I understood, is just gambling her husband, that is, she goes to the mosque, wears a shirt, but this does not prevent her from smoking and deceiving customers. I’m not against smoking, but why? Not the essence. This friend’s husband gave her $300 to help her, for which he is very grateful. But! The money she did not give us, but paid them a part of her loan, which she herself told us, because her conscience (according to her words). Okay, spent and fine, I thought, my mom and I forgot. It was not here. After a while, this very "friend" comes and says to my mother, "You know, I have a loan in the bank hanging, and your daughter people make some donations for the operation. Give me that money and I will close my loan with it.” To say that I am sick is to say nothing. Of course, my mother refused. This lady was offended. Have lunch, Carl

[ + 25 - ] Comment quote №147429
 18.12.2017
From the discussion of the joy of eating meat:

We are predators! Hunted an antilope - bitten his ass! well well!

He grabbed a pig in the back.

But to catch the rabbit, we probably won’t.

[ + 25 - ] Comment quote №147428
 18.12.2017
Passengers are in the car, and drivers are on! I love my mother tongue.

[ + 23 - ] Comment quote №147427
 18.12.2017
Sberbank performed the work of the Sberbank of Russia.

I came to Sberbank to put money on the card, put a new 2000 ruble banknote in the ATM. The bank does not accept.
I called a girl consultant. She said to try to insert the note on the other side. He does not accept. Then she asked to look at the bill, because she didn’t see it alive. Then I said it was better to exchange it at the Sberbank. No change without a passport. I have no passport. They said you could sell to someone in the crowd of customers. No one needs those 2,000 rubles. Even to change. The woman came out and said go to the dining room next to there change. I went exchanged.
In addition, you need ATMs - put the dining rooms directly in the Sberbank building.

[ + 33 - ] Comment quote №147426
 18.12.2017
That is, you waited and then waited and the problem did not solve itself? Very strange, I don’t even know, you did everything you could.

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