bezdna.su — the best quotes and jokes from the abyss!



[ + 69 - ] Comment quote №39461
 27.11.2010
[23:29:13] The regret says: I tell the horse: I rested in Vienna. The last day, a taxi at 8 in the morning, the suitcases were collected from the night. Everything at the door. At 6 in the morning, the sirene, we call the reception - scream - fire. Well, huli - jeans, mayka, things caught. In two minutes, I came down in 40 seconds. A bunch of tourists around - who in a nightwear, who in a shirt, with passports, money, half naked. And the Russians with a suitcase and all the souvenirs.
[23:29:22] Sorry says: There are other questions – why did we win? )))

[ + 121 - ] Comment quote №39460
 27.11.2010
Adulthood is when you walk in the cold without a hat and feel not cool, but a fool!

[ + 58 - ] [3 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №39459
 27.11.2010
For an important matter, I call in another time zone.
Your mother, do you know how long?
I: I call you for 50 rubles a minute not to ask for time.

[ + 44 - ] Comment quote №39458
 27.11.2010
The new Harry Potter has surprised me.
Unbroken Harry and Ron in sweaters, Hermione in a cloth shirt, tent and all dirty and judging by appearance does not smell very good conclusion!!! They are going to the Grushin Festival!

[ + 121 - ] Comment quote №39457
 27.11.2010
Kornay Ivanovich Chukovsky has long predicted the torment of the support service:

This is the whole day:
Then the bull will call, then the deer.

[ + 72 - ] Comment quote №39456
 27.11.2010
Tomorrow we’ll get married.
You will be dressed...
Albina: I will be in Ahaia.

[ + 84 - ] Comment quote №39455
 27.11.2010
Russian Prime Minister Vladimir Putin expressed his amazement at Germany’s policy and the position of the German public in the energy sphere. Responding to questions from the participants of the economic forum in Berlin, he noted that the German public does not like nuclear energy.

“I don’t want to comment on this in any way, but I don’t understand what you’re going to do?” Putin asked. You don’t want gas, you don’t develop nuclear energy. Are you going to throw the wood?", he continued. After a brief pause, caused by loud laughter in the hall, Vladimir Putin stated that the Germans and "for the wood" to Siberia should go. “You have no trees,” he concluded.

[ + 58 - ] [1 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №39454
 27.11.2010
Girls who in the section "about themselves" write "I am hard to find, but easy to lose", resemble socks =)))

[ + 58 - ] [2 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №39453
 27.11.2010
Do you wash your dishes?? to
- Well you have prepared dinner, from the catalog allowed to buy everything, kissed... of course I will wash, I am not an ungrateful pig... I am grateful :@)

[ + 47 - ] [2 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №39452
 27.11.2010
About the benefits of girls waiting for guys from the army.
After one in the guard was shot, the girl did not respond to the letters, the divorce was asked: "The girl writes?", the answer: "Don't write"- "You don't go to the guard". No one was waiting for me from the army. I carried those fucking guards.

[ + 22 - ] Comment quote №39451
 27.11.2010
Most are currently printed by Jackson, Grant, Franklin...

[ + 90 - ] [1 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №39450
 27.11.2010
The Mouse
My old friend, former Kabebeshnik Yuri Tarasovich, told the story that a man can always be stronger than any circumstances, if only he has enough mind and spirit.
His companion, also a former commissioner, a seventy-year-old grandfather, sold the car on the Lubretsk market.
Successfully sold and went home on the road. On the way, he went to the store, where his niece worked, to hide the money in the safe (700,000 rubles, the amount is not small).
The late evening. A tired but happy grandfather approached his entrance.
Stop the stall.
One came out from the iron doors, and four more came out from behind. No where to run. Behind it is only a staircase into the basement, and it is closed from the bombs with a grid. and stupid.
The most important, carelessly drinks a beer from the bowl (discount, calm as a sting. Not the first time). The second with a knife and three just healthy bulls.
The main:
- Hurry out the grandmother, you will be shaking, we will have to search.
Your body...
If there were money, I would have to give it. Clearly, the grandfather was watched all day, but did not expect that he would leave the grocery store already.
“Empty” and telling you that there is no money, just stumbling on a knife.
Near in the dark went to the entrance a lonely passenger, crossing on a dangerous pile of dark silhouettes.
The bandits waited for the witness to hide from the scene, even the knife was hidden.
When the man opened the entrance door, the grandfather suddenly grabbed the main bowl with beer and threw the bars between the bars into the basement, at the same time he whispered:
Fingerprints of murderers in the basement of the bank!!! Call the police!! to
The entrance door clogged at the speed of a mouse.
The leader was the fastest of all. He assessed the seriousness of the basement castle and said:
You guys, are you so upset? We didn’t touch you with a finger. So is
Standing up and talking. So you say not smoking? No not so,
Let’s go guys.
Be a grandfather.
P.S

After 15 minutes, the mints arrived, opened the basement, got the pot and hanged on the holder of the fingers, a recording from the surveillance camera. accepted all of them.

[ + 33 - ] Comment quote №39449
 27.11.2010
“Yes, Wolf, we seem to have struck you. You will be punished!
Good thing, you beat me and punish me!...

[ + 65 - ] Comment quote №39448
 27.11.2010
The prosecutor of Chusovsky district Andrei Deliev put forward an unexpected version for modern aviation of the disaster. He stated that the plane crashed because the car was heavier than the air.

[ + 55 - ] Comment quote №39447
 27.11.2010
Lectures in Surgery:
Before giving resuscitation measures, two young doctors broke the woman’s teeth and, despite all their efforts, Anna survived.

[ + 64 - ] Comment quote №39446
 27.11.2010
I take the software ordered from the distributor here, I arranged everything, I took my 10 boxes with different Microsofts, I go out, I am stopped here for control, say, present. And I continue to cheer. The controller looks like that, yes, what do we do? A, this is SQL 2010 that we have a novelty... how much it should weigh there... digged. It is 258 grams. on the weights of both boxes, barcode by barcode reader, both boxes as much as... ah 516 grams, right. We have a project, we know. We have 200 grams. 6 boxes of 1200 grams. and exchange. Oh oh! This is more exclusive, never weighed... so... 215 grams, two weigh... 430 grams. All in common, please. How much we have here... ah, 2 kg 150 grams. It is right. You can go.

[ + 64 - ] Comment quote №39445
 27.11.2010
Was it in a couple?
YYYYYYYYYYYYYY
XXX: Take a picture and take a picture of me.
Yyy: Okay, I can’t see well, I’m happy to print, here’s a little.
It is [JPG]
Print in word, take a screenshot, and send it to me... You are unmatched.

[ + 59 - ] [2 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №39444
 27.11.2010
- Make the site to their left corner to the right slide such a creature green, looking like a slide, but flexible, bending. And let the tail follow him. Such a fat trace of brown color. And from the right corner, another creature of brown color slipped to meet him, but his trail was green.
What will it symbolize? (I barely restrain, but I continue to ask the face-to-face questions in the most polite tone, and the client is serious.
and continues:
This means that our clients and our executives meet through us. You understand, they will have to meet in the middle of the page!
How will the meeting take place? Do you have any preferences, ideas?
and yes! There will be a brown blast on the entire page. The explosion becomes green and slowly decreases. From under it, already striped creatures are carved into a brown-green strip. They swim in different directions.
Maybe not in different directions. Do they all have goals, let them move together?
Mmm, you may be right! They become a single being of the red color! (He raised his voice and was clearly inspired...) This will symbolize as if the unity of all our ideas and forces! And this creature rotates like a spiral in the center of the page. This will show the eternal movement – customer – we – performer – customer – we (our ideas) – performer and so on.
They will remember us!!! to

[ + 75 - ] [1 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №39443
 27.11.2010
from Google

Alice, school, why are you here?
Lisa_Alice: Isn’t it better to stop shaking, to go to get the deffchonks and fuck? Have you ever touched your breasts? Alive and warm!

The one who has to: Oh, you all say that. And when you ask your breasts to touch, you immediately put a wallet on your head.

[ + 81 - ] [4 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №39442
 27.11.2010
For what I bought and sold, as they say.in the chat, a girl who works in a cafe, tells us, what they cooked.on the question:for what? was the answer:we in the cafe, the dogs are fed.so he mixed them with cabbage.

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