bezdna.su — the best quotes and jokes from the abyss!



[ + 58 - ] Comment quote №33698
 29.07.2010
Yesterday, the boss of 20 minutes explained that you need to speak clearly and on the case.

[ + 78 - ] Comment quote №33697
 29.07.2010
The incident occurred at the Alexandrovsky Garden metro station. For those who do not know, the train there comes to the platform, the people are unloaded, the following are loaded and all this goes back - 2-3 minutes the whole process. In the evening, of course, longer: the people are still smaller, the intervals between trains are more genuine.
Here I go one evening, not too late yet, but people are a little. Everyone has already gone out, only a very sublime guy is crawling in the wagon.
And the periodically appropriate asks - is it final? Yes, it is final. Another seat – is it final? This is final. And so on 5.
And here’s under the words "Be careful, the doors are closing..." the people are beginning to collapse in large numbers.
Everyone is already worried - the train is leaving, and the guy is never leaving. And the guy pouches the oils into the fire, with a nervous voice again asking "This is the final?" The people of the choir are already crying: Yes, this is the final, the final!!! So go out sooner!
And here the guy with an evil voice with a note of despair reads:
All of you go in then!!!! to

[ + 58 - ] Comment quote №33696
 29.07.2010
I work for the Federal Migration Service (FMS). So, like this summer in nature when they drank, he wasn’t quite sober, saw a donkey and let’s pursue it with a scream: “Where are the documents for living in our country, African donkey!”and "

[ + 68 - ] Comment quote №33695
 29.07.2010
aaa: I know that the community is forbidden to consult, but the question of the dentist is what can be done in travel conditions (I am in the train, go for three days) when the flux appears?

At the nearest station, put your head under the wheel.

ccc: this is not a consultation (but it should help) - put your head under the wheel

Do not listen to them, they are incompetent. At the nearest station, put your head under the wheel.

[ + 61 - ] Comment quote №33694
 29.07.2010
Today I walked with my wife and child in the park.
xxx: Accidentally found a stone with the inscription 11 years ago - "There were fucking Misha and Katya". My wife and I smiled. :D

[ + 63 - ] Comment quote №33693
 29.07.2010
Offer to:
I remember how it was in school: when you need to pull something, repair, connect, it is Lechu to take from the lesson, he is working!
And when the teacher inserted the disk on the wrong side, so it is necessary to call a smart Slavik, he comes and makes a non-biological look, turning the disk, and then the whole lesson goes through.

[ + 57 - ] [2 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №33692
 29.07.2010
xxx: This is a shit to hide the year of birth, if, fucking, you are in the group "Born in 1992"?

[ + 73 - ] Comment quote №33691
 29.07.2010
In the army, strength is important, not the mind. For example, that year I could not move the stalls in the village from the place, and in the winter I pumped and cleaned all the stalls.
Wow A, if you had the mind, you would have already thought of using the lever that year...

[ + 60 - ] Comment quote №33690
 29.07.2010
Elladan: I want Toyota to make a model "Intellect"
Elladan: So I see the headline of the news: "On the roads of Moscow today 7 people were drowned by intelligence" :)

[ + 69 - ] Comment quote №33689
 29.07.2010
(From the window to the window)
The son looks into the room, sees a sleeping cat and leaves.
I: Hey... Did you come here to check out the cat? I still have here...
He: Well, in the last 15 years you have never fallen out of the window.

[ + 21 - ] [1 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №33688
 29.07.2010
Amazing creatures these people. They easily believe in the surprising and are difficult to reconcile with the obvious.
by Yuri Tatarkin

[ + 31 - ] [1 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №33687
 29.07.2010
The story of a maniac, told by the old KGB Yuri Tarasovich.
1980, the Olympiad was on the nose, and a maniac started in Lviv. He maneuvered this way: he found a woman (a girl or even a grandmother) on the street and sprinkled sulfuric acid on her clothes from behind. At first, she doesn't notice, she goes her way, but when the acid eats away her clothes, she begins to scream wildly, tear everything off, ride on the ground, etc.
A terrible affair. And the maniac, meanwhile, had long thrown out the container from under the acids, stood quietly in the crowd and got his manic crack (well, crazy, what will you take...?) The menta caught him on the nerve. They were allowed to walk around the city of their wives and friends, and they themselves watched the civic... but the maniac did not enter these productions. Although the mint in the amount of 1000 pieces has been catching it for half a year, our spire "worked" strictly every day. As a result: rumors and not an easy panic...
The rumors reached Brejnev, he was angry and at some meeting scourged the Minister of Internal Affairs Shchelokov, while attending.
Andropov and badly painted: the militia catches half a year, and mine would be caught in three days. Brejnev said: “Get a guess, in the sense of catching, and three days later report... Major Yuri Tarasovich called the general and ordered: You are appointed the senior of the group to catch the acid maniac. No people, no cars, but for three days. The matter is in the control of Andropov, do not handle in three days, your pursuit will fly... Do not stand, the time has passed!
Yuri Tarasovich spoke with mints, but mints for half a year only scratched the list of victims. Tarasych asked them to call him as soon as possible.
Here is a new attack, Tarasych and his group in the number of his one, on a personal moscovite flies to the scene of events. Tichonechko stands up next to him and photographs a crowd of people from the car around another sufferer.
The next day he also goes out to the scene of the crime, photographing everyone, as yesterday. But now he’s going through the photos all night and finds a man who was in the crowd yesterday and today.
On the third day, Tarasych is already without a photocopy, but with handcuffs, wrapping the hands of an invisible uncle with good characteristics from work. The uncle was so shocked that he confessed on the street.

Yuri Tarasovich settled for three days and the general did not appeal to him, but he did not reward him... with the wording: Leonid Ilyich is not satisfied... because they caught the maniac for a whole half year and three days.

[ + 55 - ] [1 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №33686
 29.07.2010
In the pharmacy:
Do you have Gondons?
They come in sometimes.

[ + 64 - ] Comment quote №33685
 29.07.2010
YYYY :
Hi to
Did you see Olga after 11 p.m.?

The xxx:
Hi to you!
Am... Kagbe, hint to you so softly...
I have not worked for a month and a half...
and)))

[ + 54 - ] Comment quote №33684
 29.07.2010
Hey, I have a smart mail system, it records email from the beginning to "Unwanted"

[ + 58 - ] Comment quote №33683
 29.07.2010
xxx: but without the inertia of man felt himself. If you want, read the book. If you want, watch TV. If you want to walk, go.
Yyy: and I would feel like a man without books, TV and a walk: if you want - sit on the Internet, if you want - sit on the Internet, if you want - sit on the Internet...

[ + 57 - ] Comment quote №33682
 29.07.2010
Musin likes Pussies (15:39:24 28/07/2010)
Ready for the universe?

Yulia (15:40:23 28/07/2010)
I’m always ready as a pioneer 😉

Musin likes Pussies (15:40:36 28/07/2010)

Musin likes Pussies (15:40:47 28/07/2010)
To whom will you study? Who do you want to be)?

Yulia (15:42:22 28/07/2010)
The Princess

[ + 75 - ] Comment quote №33681
 29.07.2010
XXX: Happiness would be the peppermint cold, only that it would not have bones.
YYY: Why are you not able to give birth to a mutant berry?
Damn, I’m going to have anything now.

[ + 72 - ] Comment quote №33680
 29.07.2010
XXX: Sooner than September 1
You are not studying anymore.
xxx: no, it’s not going to be so bad.)

[ + 67 - ] Comment quote №33679
 29.07.2010
GIN: Tomorrow is 39 degrees ((
Lo: So today was 40
So I say it’s cold.

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