xxx: what are you doing?
Yyy: I take the trees
XXX The Tree? from where?! to
yyy: all over the office I clean the register from the pale cristmastree.exe

The case with me at the university. I sit, bored, from nothing to do started with big letters, a red bright marker to write on the A4 sheets all kind of shit and show those who are sitting far away, so that the teacher did not notice... wrote a lot of different inscriptions ranging from compliments to fellow students, ending with the inscription "Open!" and a lot of all kinds of things.
Seeing him slowly approaching me, I sharply turned all the leaflets with inscriptions down and sat down with a clever look.
He: What are you doing?
I: Nothing Victor Sergeevich. I listen to the lecture.
And then he turns one of the sheets on which the big fat font "What do you see?"
Rjać waves rotted around the audience)Sam pred rotted to tears=)

We were reworking the stand in the toilet... the next day, without even doing a hole... I was sitting in the toilet and the neighbor went through the floor.
The neighbor struggles like a whirlwind)))) I didn't stand to start roasting))))))
The neighbor: who is this?? to
I: the toilet fairy!!!!)))))))
Then I was ashamed to go out. ?

A brother of a friend, a student of 4th grade of the medical institute, found a cat on the street and, not thinking long, took it with him to McDonald's, came to the kitchen and dropped them a cat.
All of them wept, and he said, “This is the last one I bring to you!”

Description of the film:
" Attention to you! The film contains frank scenes, censorship and fragments of violence! Children up to 17 years of age must attend their parents!

Mnu: Shob fucking the whole family at once.

My daughter is five years old.In kindergarten she is a very mobile child.The teacher grit to her: You will behave badly, I will put everything to my mom and she will punish you.
“Aunt, if you tell your mom, you’ll get both of my daddy’s...

Continuing the tradition =)
Thank you, good man, who left the unparalleled point of TP LINK in the glorious Krasnoyarsk, in the area of the hotel "Octoberskaya"! Of the five, you only saved a poor student who came to the session =) And then there is not even a mobile injection =( Sorry, if my presence interferes with you, there is very little left =)
People, bring to the best, let man be happy =)

The Anti-Ug:
He works as a sysadmin in a large joint-stock company (a total fleet of staff, servers and nodes of about 4000). The day is specifically touched.
A girl calls:
I poured coffee on the keyboard at home. What to do?
and Sysadmin:
Spit under the crane and dry for a day.
He put the tube, and he himself thinks: "Only not as in that case". A day later, the same woman called:
It doesn’t work, he said.
He says:
Well bring it.
And again he thinks: "Only not as in that case". It brings, well,, b%ya - a laptop shit!! to

Going to the Army? Don’t forget to put your girlfriend in waiting mode.

OldFidel: Sometimes, after washing, my imagination paints me a picture, How a mother-sock scares children’s socks:
If you do, I’ll send you to the washing machine.
And the children obediently reassure themselves, knowing that many after this car have never found them.

The girl told me at dinner so amused: "I wanted to break up with you today...and then I remembered that I am menstrual tomorrow."

Physics... Physics
I go up somehow to the department of mat analysis on the ladder, I look at the door, there is a table on it, the department of physics of the solid body, and at the bottom of the pipe is attached and from the hand is written "strong spirit and moral principles".
Greetings to the physicists and mechmatans of PGU.
The first class.

With the spread of printed books in Russia, the belief appeared that if you "bit the head of a book," you can "bit the knowledge in the head."
Faith was passed on from generation to generation, but one day someone misunderstood and...

e_kurt: The district has complained. They come, say, with complaints that the computer shows pornography. What can I do?! It shows me too.

The SMS message:
When you went to work, you closed me.
Results of
1st I sit at home.
2nd There are no keys.
Three There is no water.
4 is There is no inette.
5 is There is no mood.
Don’t call me again.
I kiss Lena.

Remember, in “Friends,” Chandler had a friend who, when surprised and doing this, said, “Oooo-yo-yo-yo-yo-yo?”))
In Russia, with such an intonation and expression of the face, we usually pronounce: "aaaa-huu-eyeet. 0_o and"

Remember for a lifetime –
You have a programming oath.
You may not be tired -
But the beard must be!

The costume you can’t wear.
He is not related to Nora.
to work every day.
You have to wear a sweater!

You can’t keep the dog.
You will be very attached to her.
A cat named Scuco
You must feed every day.

Learn Pascal or C++
Our heroes disagree.
Only with drums in hand.
The trip becomes beautiful!

I could tell a lot.
About the shredder and the wire pair
Oda has to finish.
by Odin! Give them heat.

to this:

The popular wisdom of women:

I thought it offended myself...

-------
Sometimes they are offended by what they can’t think of, what to offend.

I am standing with a girl, she for some reason took my cell phone, from an unknown number came a SMS and she reads:
"An Unknown Woman is Watching You... Your betrayal makes her sad"

People who are so dumb jokes, barely off >_<
swumper

Blondes, blondes, what else would you understand about them?
My classmate, blue-eyed blonde from birth - proudly walks in a T-shirt with the inscription "Feed admin - saved the world"

This is:

Rita is bleak.
Rita: Mom again on TV "HUY" wrote
It is to wipe out the dust.
_____________________________________

My mother does the same) But I am in a circle this word and overwrite it ))) "We do not have mothers!" xDDD