bezdna.su — the best quotes and jokes from the abyss!



[ + 80 - ] Comment quote №24628
 09.01.2010
In the forum:
XXX: What is a cooler?
I am pleased with one response...
YYY: The cooler is Carlson who lives in the system!

[ + 9 - ] Comment quote №24627
 09.01.2010
Whoever lies hard, everyone gives.
by Yuri Tatarkin

[ + 35 - ] [1 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №24626
 09.01.2010
Surstremming

We were, are and will be a backward country. We are barbarians in everything.
Even in small things. For example, in the kitchen. So what is there in the kitchen – vodka to snack and we do not know. Our imagination doesn’t go any further than “taking a sleeve.” In the extreme case - crush thick slices of fat, extract from the subsoil of the pebbles of salted cucumbers and serve a puddle in the slices of raspberries.
Barbarians are foolish. Because of this barbarism, I drink vodka less and less.
Tired of cuddling. If you are in Sweden, be sure to bring a surprise! The serpent instructed me. I know very well about European cuisine. I read a lot. Surrounding is a classic!
Surstreming has a delicate taste and unique aroma. Surstreming
The fish cousin of Hamon. Spiritual relatives of blue cheese. In the direct and translational sense. Because he has a spicy shoulder.
Washed with streams of cold clean water, Surstreming is laid on a strawberry leaf, dotted with ice from the top. All that remains is to pour vodka into thin drinks.
Interesting fact: the surprising, like everything genius, was discovered by chance.
Once, in the Middle Ages, the inhabitants of a Swedish town, brought to despair by famine (the settlement was besieged by enemies, the Danes, it seems), remembered the cave. Some of the food waste was excavated. Including a worn seed. If we were in the place of the Swedes, we, the Russians, would surely have swallowed the silk, fell into starvation, and surrendered the city.
But the descendants of the Vikings are cast out of steel: the fish is eaten, the necessary calories are received, the enemy is thrown away!
Then they remembered that no one was ill with dysentery.
This is how the first Surstremming appeared. Technology has improved over the years. Today, it is sold in every Swedish farm.

In the story of the Snake, when I arrived in Sweden, I first ran into the store and bought two Surstremming banks. Only then looked.
Vazu, Astrid Lindgren Museum and other attractions in Stockholm.

Have you brought? The young man! The serpent celebrated. We’re gathering at Dacia.
The next weekend. Do not worry about anything. I’ve got it all: vodka.
The ice, the ice. No need anymore. Just black bread. How
A tribute to barbarism.

We went to the serpent on Saturday.

We put the tables and chairs out to the fresh air. I broke the leaves of the strawberry.
I prepared ice cubes.

The courtyard was gradually filled with unfamiliar people.
Along the border the neighboring dogs defiled.
Two cats, climbing up on the shore, pretended to sit in a seat near the shredder, although they themselves stumbled on the serving.

The serpent invited neighbors to dinner.
I remember an elderly nice couple: husband – retired diplomat, wife
An intelligent woman with a crooked nose.
I’ve lived in South America all my life, and I’ve heard about surprises.
never tried. It is crazy interesting! The lady said. You are us.
Let me take a little with you: we brought the container specifically.

I got a surprise from my backpack.

The serpent opened the banks with delight.

Five minutes later, the lunch was over.

The most gentle half of the guests rushed to the side of the cushion as soon as the knife ripped the canned c "12-00" to "15-00".

By the “18-00” disappeared, removing the assembly at the scavenger, cats.

The dogs behaved more steadily: at first they were interested in the hurricane smell fell, they pushed for a couple of minutes at the fence with their noses stretched, but then, apparently, "tried out" and pulled around the houses.

The diplomatic relationship lasted the longest. The lady, clamping her crooked nose, not only managed to chew one piece, but also forced her husband. The husband, hardened by communication with the bloody Latin American dictators, stumbled, but resisted.
With them in the container, the diplomats did not take anything. Despite the fact that the Serpent spoke to them quite vigorously.

Finally, when the last guests left, the question arose: what to do with
Surstreming and who will join the liquidator team. Since the family of the Snake, escaping from the chemical attack, hid in the house, closing the doors and windows, I and the Snake had to go to the liquidators. Like the doctors.
Instructed to nauseous myasms in anatomy.

For a long time, they decided how to bury the contents of the bottles. Just attributing to washing was a meaningless and overwhelming decision. Because it required the purchase of anti-gas for the entire village.
Buried in the ground? Entrance into wastewater? No, it is not suitable.

The surreaming was placed in three layers of plastic bags, packed in a metal bowl-sarcofag and buried in the most impassable area of the forest at a depth of 1 meter.

The barbarians. This is because we are barbarians. The serpent was eating vodka.
Salad and salty corns from the straw. We are not taught to
Ordinary European cuisine. You should get used to it from childhood.

No one objected to him. The mouths were occupied with spicy stitches and juicy bits.

[ + 55 - ] Comment quote №24625
 09.01.2010
I am increasingly convinced that the root of the word “to fall in love” is not “love”, but “blame.”

[ + 93 - ] Comment quote №24624
 09.01.2010
In the camp "Year of Youth" at Seliger, one of the organizers reads before building a note from a girl who participated in the festival:
Please allow at least men to drink in the camp. Some of us don’t have a chance...

[ + 103 - ] Comment quote №24623
 09.01.2010
Tonight I dreamed such a nonsense that I met the alarm clock with the words: Mja, finally!

[ + 75 - ] Comment quote №24622
 09.01.2010
Going to a sleeping man is dangerous.
He goes out without coming to consciousness.! to

by CTAR

[ + 64 - ] Comment quote №24621
 09.01.2010
I am reading a philosophy textbook (exam soon). Among the notes, additions and corrections made by somebody before me, appears "On_u, it will still not ask" on the fields.

[ + 87 - ] Comment quote №24620
 09.01.2010
Lena (12:16:17 8/01/2010)
I feel more and more like sex is more important to you than me.
Horn (12:19:35 8/01/2010)
For me, sex is like salt in shrimp. There is not much, maybe only little. But that doesn’t mean that the salt in this dish is the most important. Do you understand me?
Lena (12:20:52 8/01/2010)
So I’m a crocodile for you!!! to
Horn (12:21:10 8/01/2010)
Fuck...

[ + 91 - ] Comment quote №24619
 09.01.2010
It does not work with me. I can’t talk to a girl named Hope Salata without laughing. and :(

[ + 76 - ] Comment quote №24618
 09.01.2010
Tajikistan, 201 WB of the Armed Forces of the Russian Federation, children's morning in kindergarten.
Ladies and gentlemen, let us sing a song, for example, sing to us.

M: Get up, a huge country, get up for a deadly battle.

A man 10 children, standing next to the masha and taking the pose from the poster "Fatherland-Mother cries": With the fascist force dark, with the cursed horde...

[ + 65 - ] [2 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №24617
 09.01.2010
Saratov scientists are no worse than the British!

Title of publication:
Dimensional characteristics of milk glands 17-20 years old
The Author: A.V Andrei V. N. Nicole
Saratov Scientific and Medical Journal
Saratov State Medical University

[ + 52 - ] Comment quote №24616
 09.01.2010
to this:

Leska, I know that you’re sick now and you don’t want to see anyone, that you’ve turned off the phone and don’t approach the door. But you must know that you have me and a few others who love you anyway. Everything in your life will be fine, just believe it. You are only 22 today and you have a whole life ahead of you. So let today be the first day you start living again, let it be your real birthday. Believe in yourself and live, no matter what. Happy Birthday family.

People, bring to the best please, the girl reads regularly only this resource, this is my last hope to reach her.



With the smell of you, the forest!!! to

[ + 71 - ] Comment quote №24615
 09.01.2010
XX: We don’t seem to fit each other. I added your page to the "selected", but the browser issued an error and flew out
YYY: He is just jealous! The Firefox?
No, no to Opera
YYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY!

[ + 113 - ] Comment quote №24614
 08.01.2010
I go to work in the morning while my son is asleep. Today is a weekend.
My son woke up and ran to bed with us. At first he kicked on my arms, but suddenly stood away, looked at me suspiciously... turned to Daddy, ticked at me with his finger and asked “Daddy, what is it?” and only after receiving the answer “This is Mommy” pressed back to me.

[ + 82 - ] Comment quote №24613
 08.01.2010
Comment on the recipe for cooking eggs on the culinary website:
Previously, my maid was a god for me, because she cooked my eggs in the morning. But your site has opened my eyes to simple things, it turns out, I can cook eggs myself. Now I watch my aunt for taking advantage of my helplessness."

[ + 66 - ] Comment quote №24612
 08.01.2010
Recently, reading “The Best Abyss” I am terrified by the scary slogan: “Bash.org – Build Your Love.” and..

[ + 98 - ] Comment quote №24611
 08.01.2010
Atasha S: I walk on the street today, along the houses. By the edge of the eye, I note that there is a sheet hanging on the wall of each house, and something is very subtly written (and my vision is a unit). Of course, I approach closer, close to the announcement, and read: "Dear passers, there is a possibility of snow and pebbles coming down from the roofs. A large request to the walls of houses close not fit". Russia and MLA.

[ + 71 - ] Comment quote №24610
 08.01.2010
At first, the prime minister of Italy bought UAZ Patriot, now he jokes in a jacket with the inscription Russia and the Russian emblem on his chest.

[ + 93 - ] Comment quote №24609
 08.01.2010
to this:

You too, when you eat a candy "bird milk", you first separate the chocolate on the sides, and leave the delicious for later?)

I'm just sitting down, I'm just chewing chocolate from the sidewash, I'm just sinking, I'm just reading =D

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