I did sushi. Nori had to be replaced with cabbage leaves, fish with meat. Not eating raw meat, I cooked it. They got the pigeons!

Bender: Sec
You missed the letter!
Bender: has not signed
Not writing is bad. Keep writing, I’ll wait!

If you want to cheat big, be accurate in the little things.“Ivory Shirt”

The cloudy morning route runs from the sleeping area to the center. Through all traffic jams, congestion, lighting... People are sleeping or trying to sleep. And then at the stop comes a man, happy as a whole flock of elephants. He blows on sitting next to a strict woman of the teacher's kind, gets a cell phone out of his pocket and, breathing fresh exhalation, plunges into a lively dialogue.
But Sanka? Call me Natasha immediately. What a grandmother she is, oh, what a grandmother she is... And how she passes does – m-m-m, not to die, my wife does not know how to get up... Yes, repeat again, I record... Yes, thank you for introducing you! - and all this minutes for three, with details, emotions to the ceiling and a matte two words for a third.
The route begins to revive. Those who have still tried to see their dreams wake up and look at the man with a shock. The “teacher” in the neighboring seat demonstratively whispers and turns to the window. A man says goodbye to
I immediately picked up Natasha’s number. But Natasha? Hi to you! I liked what we did with you! I want you more! No one has done me so well before, right? Can you do better? The teacher in the neighboring seat turns to the man and asks him to speak quieter, because his expressions insult her pedagogical hearing. The man impatiently waits away from her and again plunges into the conversation. “I was so excited that you shaved your legs... You understand, I can’t tell my wife that, she will immediately feel that I changed her... Well, you have to be patient, and what to do...
The route is already fully awake and is listening to the details with interest. The driver is hungry in the mirror and also is attentive, holding his breath. Only the "teacher" is dissatisfied, she just boils out of the hard-to-restrain indignation. Then a second phone call arrives. He interrupts, the winning tone diminishes, and he almost whispers to Natashka — Oh, forgive me, I can’t talk anymore, I need to answer the call... Wife! Will I call you later? Well for now!
And already with a completely different voice begins to drum into the tube: - Yes, dear... Oh, we drank with Sanka yesterday, so drank... Well, you know him, and what to do... Oh, it’s bad for me now, my head breaks... Yes, I’ll take a pill. I’ll try to come early, yes. Although there is a lot of work.
Sunshine, sorry, okay, I’ll definitely try to come early.

And here comes the star hour of the teacher. She turns to the man and very clearly says straight into the microphone of his mobile phone – My-Ily, well where you are digging there, I am tired of waiting for you... I am cold, go to me, dear!

The man falls his jaw, he convulsively clamps his cell phone under the friendly goot of passengers. The driver hits the brakes and bites the steering wheel. The man, pressing his tail, sneaks at the door and asks to let him go. The route is shaken from the hood. The door knocks. The student turns to the window and smiles. The curtain...

- Lovely, and let’s have sex with the ivy, with the violence?
- Well, again you will be forced to demand sex, and I will beat back and
Continuing to play combo?

by UW. admin, please add to the "funny/not funny" third button: "it’s sad"

About the protection.
What are you protecting?
The costume.
Is it how?
He is under me, I am under me.

In the 2nd round of the super tournament of the 19th category London Chess Classic, Russian Vladimir Kramnik defeated Chinese Ni Hua.

It is logical that the Chinese Ni Hua did not win.

The carouche looked in contact with the sight of the road where you were - ran. * did not look up and closed the notepad, and the sight continued to work. Lido (sister) with the words fucking who turned off the notebook opens the cover, and from there to the entire apartment the last phrase sent you to the house.

xxx: “Well, it’s cold,” said the gray wolf and pulled the red hat on his ears.

YYY: Is this an erotic and pedophile story or am I still worth a little work on myself?

This is a story about the animal and the headdress.

yyy: It seems to be:"(

No, well, the discovery channel is just ahuenny: just a man tells about a safe, which does not burn in the fire, nothing breaks, super reliable and in no way its own.
not to open, except knowing the encryption and immediately breaks it with the help of a cuvalda and the Bulgarian breaks it half a minute in 10 to show how the entity safe is arranged

XXX: I want to be an apprenticeship student
yyy: ah, especially after the first course (((

XXX is yes! either you take your words back and acknowledge that you are wrong... or "spread your fingers - we will hologram"

Sova: In order to strengthen the corporate spirit, everyone in our company likes to repeat that we are “one friendly family.” From which I concluded today: what the boss did to me on the bench is natural incest, and the fact that he is much older than me makes him a real pedophile...

I hate crazy people.
It is self-critical...

With KMP...
I recently arrived at my MCH. Sitting in his room, a pleasant evening... The matter came to sex. As always - quiet, so that no one hears (and what do you do, the match lives with parents). All great, the only thing - his mother knocked on the door a couple of times, something about some "attributes" said. was killed. In three hours I go home, I dress up – the most important piece of clothes is missing – the cowards. Looked for a long time. was killed. The match came out of the room to find out what the mother wanted. He returns in a few minutes with a cheerful smile, stretching a coward. It turns out, his favorite cat pulled them out of the door, clinging to the foot. Moreover, this bastard was playing with them all over the apartment! I am still ashamed of his relatives in the eyes!

No, of course, the Maya were smart guys, but the end of the world could not come before House slept with Caddy! Otherwise, I refuse to note it.

A cold winter is expected. MTS changes the logo to a blue egg.

Liz: I'm German and little bit Russian
Sanx: Yes, you are all there, Little Bit Rush! My grandparents tried to do it :)

of Irkutsk. A crowd of officials headed by the governor stands in front of a tape (which is usually cut off), and think -"who, to shave, should have taken the scissors?"... The crowd of this officials in the hand had to tear this tape on the principle of stretching the rope... everything is not like people...