My hobby is growing dolls. These are the kinds of dolls that are worn directly on a person, and he then revives them. Once upon a time, a story ended with one of these puppies.



My friend was performing with his band at the time, and he needed an assistant to switch tracks on the note. We decided that let the tracks switch the doll - and at the same time it will be a visual chip. Fortunately, my character – a sharring mannequin – was quite suited to the group.



And then one day in the club’s makeup shop, after we all changed clothes, the whole group went to the hall to listen to colleagues, and I (already in the image - and the suit is made so that no one centimetre of the actor’s skin is visible) stayed, so as not to reveal the surprise before time. In general, I relaxed and got into the picture: my hands and legs lay a little unnaturally, as if I was a mannequin who was placed on the couch.



And here are the guys who should have been following us. I held my breath. One of them, apparently a soloist, and apparently very curious, approached me closely - it is necessary to explore! I started touching my legs, pulled to my head... And here I suddenly get up.



His wild scream was heard in the auditorium.

I enrolled somehow for a massage, and the massager was a man with a hair tail of 40 years old. Maybe I’m not so lucky, but I haven’t met normal men with tails after 40; they’re all either in some fashion religion, or in some teaching like Osho, or just a little bit. Definitely “high” personalities. He talked about telegraph from the beginning. I am scared of the telegony of medical professionals.

When he found out that I did not believe in the telegony, he asked:

Are you afraid that your child will not look like your husband, but your first partner?

"I'm absolutely not afraid, my first partner was a nice guy, let the kids look like him and even I don't mind being like him.

After that, I was apparently recognized as a hopeless person in terms of enlightenment, and the rest of the time of the massage passed in silence.

On the topic of "Pigs ":
But at least half of the Russian bullets are pigs... the hands after lunch are not all washed, and then the pistol is charged with these same hands. And these bullets then deprive the unfortunate jihadists of the subterranean paradise.

Summer, 6 in the morning, I walk on the beach with my dog. A boy and a girl sit on the sand.
D: Ahaha, you can always make me laugh.
Q: They say there are two ways to drag a girl into bed: to laugh and a knife. I have a knife with me. So choose it.
I also have a knife.
Q: Okay, I am joking.
D: And I am not.

I work in a cafe. A Chinese man came to us yesterday.

Sitting a hollow water?

We don’t sell water, we have cold tea.

The Holy Tea...

“Yes, but I can give you water from the refrigerator.

To sit down?

and free.

- Let us (drinking and asking) Sikorka sit a hollow tea?

It is 220 rubles.

Is the water moist?

The story of my grandmother. Before the war she met a man. I dreamed of getting married in the future. But like many others, the war separated them. He went to the front, she stayed in the rear.



My grandmother’s father was a native, and my mother was not a maid. Here, according to the grandmother, she opened the envelopes sealed with soap, and read their correspondence, giving her an opened mail.



One day the letters stopped coming. She wrote to him, but he did not respond.



The war ended. Years have passed since their last meeting. There were never letters.



I saw pictures of my grandmother in her youth. She was very attractive, so they just came home to marry the villagers. Just come here. Her grandmother was so educated that she called her father YOU until her death. I remember it well. I think that’s why she didn’t resist her father’s will, and she put her tongue under her mother-in-law. I don’t remember that very well from her story. So she married my grandfather. Three children, a bunch of grandchildren... They lived not soul to soul, but the household was conducted and grandchildren were raised.



One day in 1988, my grandmother visited us. We lived in a city 160 km from its station. She left us on the train. Traffic car, side car. Nearby was a couple, a husband with a wife and a man, who from the very beginning met and had an unforced conversation. From their conversation, the grandmother heard that the man was in the sanatorium and is returning home. And I also heard the story from how he fought on the front, how he was wounded and got to the hospital. How I lost my love.



I’ve always been stunned by my grandmother’s memory. She could have been searching for hours for a wallet or glasses, a key to the shell, but some things she remembered as if she had repeated them before going to bed.



Then my grandmother asked:

In which part have you fought?

At eighteen and what? Answered the man.

Are you not Sasha Colodin? She answered.

How are you...? from where? ... he was stunned.

“I am Maria Radionova,” the grandmother replied.

I don’t know what was happening there at that moment. Every time my grandmother tells me about this, I hold back my tears. I want to shrink. They hugged and cried. Crying and hugging.



After forty-five years and most of their lives, they discover that everything could have been different... So many questions, so many answers that they never hoped to get. Never ever...

Cognac and sausages appeared on the table.

From his story, the grandmother learned that he had received a letter from her mother-in-law that she was sick (I don’t remember why) and died. He was wounded shortly afterwards and sent to the hospital. He did not receive letters. They considered each other dead.



Time was implacable. After one stop, my grandmother had to leave. He asked her to leave her phone, but she refused. My grandfather was jealous.



So they said goodbye on the railway platform and did not see each other again.

xxx: who can explain to a non-programmer what’s wrong with the assembler?
YYY: It’s all with him. It’s like being on an uninhabited island. To build a house, you don’t take a phone and call the company, but you take a spade and start building.
Zzzz: First you make a scarf
YYY: This depends on what to consider a spade. And in general: building a house with a spade is quite about an assembler.

You have to pay "for laziness"

One wise man said: to hit with a hammer costs 100 rubles, to know where to hit - 1000. Customers often forget the second part. It’s stupid human logic, but it’s stupid too.

scif_yar: Maybe he’s a good expert, but as a person, it’s better to keep him in a separate room and feed him with pasta through a lock well.

I recently had a laser vision correction surgery.

Saints Bo
Comfortable without glasses.
Beating yourself in the fucker.

XXX: Have you been to the store? Do you have salt at work?
YYY: No, why do we need salt at work? Shake around so that the youths don’t fit?
XXX is!! to
Chapter 8: Buying Salt

Fraser, a thick freer. He plays the piano.
Why not a violin?
The scarf under the triple beard does not enter.

A fan of aviation.

I wonder if Carlson had air or liquid cooling of the engine?

Today only users say "I don't know why it works this way - the computer counted. Ask a programmer."

And tomorrow, as neural networks develop, programmers will not be able to respond intelligently.

It just happened. An employee enters the office and says that next to our building at the intersection sits a “thin” man with two dogs. Looking out the window, he really sits, almost on the road, with two French bulldogs. After reading Picaba as passers do not pay attention to those who are bad, thinking that they are drunk, decided to check - suddenly this person is bad.

Man was well. So good that it is bad. He did not react to anything at all. In his hand he held a bag in which the phone was broken. The dogs obviously wanted to drink while sitting on the sunrise. I took a bag from a man’s hand. In the package was a bottle of vodka, a snack, home keys and a phone. At that moment, the incoming call was interrupted. Looking at the list of calls, you can see that an infinite every minute called a son and a woman. She called from her phone to her son, as there were no funds on the man's phone, and explained the situation. The son asked where we were and asked to wait for him. I arrived in the car quickly.

As I realized, the man argued with his wife and decided to get drunk. Apparently, he did not count his strength and went to camotose. The family went crazy and searched for him all over the city.



Sometimes even drunk people need our help.

The general law states that for one smart man who does X because he likes to do X, there are more than 9,000 hamsters doing X because it is fashionable.

In any case, the study of quantum mechanics does not apply to this law.

This law does not apply to any action with a high entry threshold. It can’t be "fashionable" something that needs to be learned for years. Fashion changes more often.

Chat of Sisadmin.
XXX is covered. The buch calls, says invent an official instructions. The fucking circus.
YYYY :
1) Drinking beer
2) Do nothing
If something is broken, you can beat.
and ZZZ:
No to. They will not miss.
The system administrator has the following responsibilities:
1st Maintain your own working condition through various means (including: for internal use).
2nd Monitor the performance of the enterprise network.
Three Conduct load testing of equipment, namely, graphic adapters, in various conditions.
4 is To control the high level of computer literacy of employees in order to prevent the consequences that entail losses of the company. In the event of such consequences, ensure full and comprehensive understanding by the employee of the inadmissibility of his deed. with the use of false means).

In the hospital, the horns of my calves were put into test operation injection stands - these are panels with needles mounted in the walls. The principle of operation as a car tank. The patient approaches the stand, applies a finger to the special panel for identification. on the board is lighted by a lamp.the patient drops the raytus and applies a hose to the hole over which the lamp has burned. There is an autoinjection. The stand is designed to save and eradicate nursing. Therefore, if you see patients knocking on the walls in the corridor, don’t be afraid. Everything goes according to plan.

It smells.

Paradox – but the smell of someone else’s sweat doesn’t bother me at all.

Did you have any plants in your family?

This is))

The same problem with the socks, only now I am an adult man, and I was charged with black.

What about these socks, dirty racist?! to