bezdna.su — the best quotes and jokes from the abyss!



[ + 44 - ] Comment quote №140543
 16.04.2017
Juvenile justice is when a child can smoke, get drunk, break, get poisoned, climb under the wheels and on the roof of the electric car - but to hit him on the ass for education and warning is a crime.

[ + 40 - ] Comment quote №140542
 16.04.2017
The cosmonaut Vladimir Alekseevich Soloviev recalls...
He wrote a statement about the enrollment of me in the team of cosmonauts and brought it to the then general designer Vasily Pavlovich Mishin, who was before Glushko. Friday and evening. The secretary is no longer. Mishin works alone in his office. He read my statement and said:
Have you joined the astronauts? Where are the words that you want to give life?
And I say, I don’t want to give life at all. I want to go into space and I want to go back.
He agreed:
“Go,” he said, “prepare yourself.

[ + 43 - ] [2 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №140541
 16.04.2017
– Hear, you didn’t suck up, with whom are you trembling? Do you want to go to the cabin, fell? Who are you in life? Anger to me here for Syria and Assad do not chase, fool, blt. I see in the fat, you endured the flight, two hours of emptiness pushed, bull, paraffined us, like the devil, thought that we would forget and boil? So we here quickly in the house all the horns and break the branches.
Hunted by Foucault? You chew the bread while the dirt creates, the shores are completely popped.
Who is it? I whispered a question behind Matthew’s back.
Russian diplomats expressed a note of protest.

[ + 32 - ] Comment quote №140540
 16.04.2017
XX: I urgently need a button "Someone on the Internet is wrong" that I could press whenever I want to dismiss a comment from someone who is indifferent and useless to my opinion.
YYY: So, I’ll share a secret. This button is on the router, masked as "Off".
XXX went off line.

[ + 33 - ] Comment quote №140539
 16.04.2017
I have worse news:

Hey, I have bad news for you. In a normal heterosexual man, men’s naked legs cause disgust or disgust.

In a normal heterosexual man, men’s naked legs do not cause emotion. It is those who think that their naked legs other men are trying to seduce, bombs. Why they think they want to get involved is another question.

[ + 23 - ] Comment quote №140538
 16.04.2017
The cactus said the mouse... and started to bite the grable

[ + 23 - ] Comment quote №140537
 16.04.2017
Friends are hidden hypersexual maniacs. They need to be treated, but do not want to admit to themselves in the disease, they are trying to project the problem on the world - they say, they are not concerned, and other people (regardless of gender) are shamelessly provoked by their uncovered heels, ears or elbows!

[ + 24 - ] Comment quote №140536
 16.04.2017
Why did Stanislav underground pursue Mr. Universe?
“Well, how can I tell you, at the table, for example, there is a beginning and an end, any movie has a end, bad or good, but there is. In fact, everything has an end. Apart from the universe.

[ + 21 - ] Comment quote №140535
 15.04.2017
Maybe I live wrong, but in my whole life, when I opened the door to knock, I didn’t get anything good. Everyone needed something from me. Mostly money.

[ + 27 - ] Comment quote №140534
 15.04.2017
It’s crazy to feel like a lamp in life. Well, this is bringing you an infected computer that is barely alive. What are you doing? is correct. You drive out anti-virus, anti-malware, refresh, clean from dust, configure. It starts working like a clock. Yes, you also complain to the client that you say your computer is so blown up, and you have been pulling for so long and have done nothing about it.

And at the same time, you constantly complain about hard life and poor health. You have no time to go to the doctor. And then it stops you and you decide to leave. And you are told: you have excess weight, flat feet, caries, vision -3, astigmatism, sinusitis and dysbacteriosis. Welcome to those services for people.

And here you feel like such a lamp in life, because. At 30 years old, you still don’t know how to live.

[ + 25 - ] Comment quote №140533
 15.04.2017
Yes, and I almost forgot the main thing: every long object that breaks out of the earth slows down the rotation of the Earth!

Yy: So this is why the New Year will come faster if you go to bed.

[ + 22 - ] [1 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №140532
 15.04.2017
Normal (including mentally) heterosexual men simply don’t notice other men’s legs. And if you think about the impression produced by the legs - then on heterosexual women. And the comrades, apparently, every moment are forced to suppress in themselves inappropriate secret desires, this is what they all have to do. It is bad that such mentally unhealthy comrades began to rush to set their rules to normal people.
By the way, just men can almost completely get naked, absolutely without causing inappropriate attention, they have strategically taboo zones in anatomy significantly less.

[ + 29 - ] [1 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №140531
 15.04.2017
Gorbachev says the signs of a new Cold War

The first thought: "He is still alive, wow".

[ + 24 - ] Comment quote №140530
 15.04.2017
And to learn a language at the level that will make you feel more or less a full member of society, it takes a lot of time and money.

It is possible only with time. Half an hour every day. No misses, even when your favorite hamster is giving birth. And free self-taughters can be digested in the amount.

[ + 31 - ] Comment quote №140529
 15.04.2017
In the sale appeared “Orthodox” iPhone 7 for 199 thousand. The ruble

From the news text: "All smartphones are consecrated in the church".

XXX: With them there will be VIP privileges in the temples. They are allowed to catch Pokémon.

[ + 26 - ] Comment quote №140528
 15.04.2017
xxx:...And here the bored viewer may ask - did the pirates drink el?))

YYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY The Irish are so bad 😉

xxx: So what is there pirates that el - yes, rum smell))

Excuse me, and the recording? To get excited before an abortion?

xxx: If before the abortion, it is appropriate to drink hyacinth, then it will be a little before that - other goals will appear, physiologically important)) And drinking rum is not worthy of pirate honor))

yyy: Well, after the el, you can effectively write on the crumbling fitil of the enemy cannon - and protect the native shun from the nucleus on board)))

xxx: A strange and demoralizing picture of the enemy))

Yyy: Not the word) You can, by the word, and on the enemy: from the matte or half-back)))

XXX: Indicative non-verbal humiliation

[ + 30 - ] Comment quote №140527
 15.04.2017
Walk with my husband. The lighthouse stopped, he looked at me, then his face changed and he said with a panic in his voice: “I left you a salmon! It was delicious ". Then he shaded him and joyfully added, “It will be like a protector, from other men protecting.” And I don’t understand, the ring on the finger and the baby in the wheelchair that, no longer work?

[ + 26 - ] Comment quote №140526
 15.04.2017
Serega and Danya arranged a top prank that went out of control
xxx: Stretched construction fence in front of the door of the universe
XXX: Now everyone is approaching and turning
XXX: Oream

[ + 31 - ] [1 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №140525
 15.04.2017
On one site, from the series "Question-answer", went to see the answers to the question "How to hang on the door pen?". Now contextual advertising insistently offers to buy me "stylish door pen from Italy". Not a rope though.)
But most of all, I was sick when at work, in the neighboring office, I sat on a ponto office chair for half a minute only once (sitting in silence!) And the contextual advertisement showed me this chair. How? →? to

[ + 30 - ] Comment quote №140524
 15.04.2017
The happiness of a man is not in what is given to him, but in the ability to successfully dispose of all this.

The best quotes and jokes from the bezdna