bezdna.su — the best quotes and jokes from the abyss!



[ + 30 - ] Comment quote №102549
 05.09.2014
To dispel all myths about women/girl programmers:
There are currently two female programmers in my team. They are exclusively engaged in front-end development. Both have Math-Mechov education. They deal with tasks equally with the guys.

At the same time, the interviews dismissed not one dozen guys with ambitions that do not correspond to their level.

With respect, teamlead teams of 10 developers.

[ + 24 - ] Comment quote №102548
 05.09.2014
The aircraft.

Wouldn’t it be more logical to sell a ticket for the total weight of the passenger and the luggage?

I have a 100 kg ticket.
zzz: At 100 finished, there are two at 50. Will you take or walk off the resource?

[ + 34 - ] Comment quote №102547
 05.09.2014
Samara at 00:30 p.m.
Not the most prosperous area of the city.
A 24-hour store with a small line.
A clear boy asks the seller why she won’t sell him beer. There is a verbal mess in elevated tones between the clear and the seller, the turn is waiting. The voice of another clean boy from the row: "You hear, harre water pour, people wait." The first clean switched from the seller to the second cleaner. Next follows the untranslated play of words in the local dialect, the first takes the combat stand, after which there is a quiet remark of the second: What did you start here? There is no supreme pleasure for you here!" A line of rhetoric, the first person's face is pulled out, a second pause, he gives out: "sorry" and retires.

[ + 25 - ] Comment quote №102546
 05.09.2014
Athari: If you are a developer, your task is to overcome difficulties.

macik_spb: I immediately imagined the emblem (or emblem) of some developer organization – above a sign with a crossed bush, below a bicycle, all this in a thorn crown and framed with the slogan “to overcome difficulties.”

Alex_MIPT: And all this is on the backdrop of crossed bones.

[ + 25 - ] Comment quote №102545
 05.09.2014
The wife is straight like America, almost something didn’t like, immediately sanctioned and closed access to its resources.

[ + 30 - ] Comment quote №102544
 05.09.2014
Choose an orthopedic pillow for your child. It is written: "Orthopedic pillow "with memory effect". Asks the pharmacist: "A lot better such a pillow?", - what is the answer: "Those who sleep on it, memory becomes better".- "In the sense???" - Well the memory of children is improving". No scene...

[ + 28 - ] Comment quote №102543
 05.09.2014
The Prehistory:
She is sick and has a blood transfusion. He writes today:
[ The Girl ]
I am standing in the store in ripped designer jeans and in the same jacket, my grandmother approaches me, points to my hands and says I will give you a phone, there you will be helped. The PSC!!! to

[ + 27 - ] Comment quote №102542
 05.09.2014
Zoo, we remember you! Return the comments!

[ + 23 - ] Comment quote №102541
 05.09.2014
xxx: when he writes in a resume that he is intimately familiar with some technology - it's interesting)
xxx: I understand it "good sign", but how unusual to see it)
YYY: That means he was fucking fucked with it.

[ + 37 - ] Comment quote №102540
 05.09.2014
I have a root – a tattoo master. A very drunk client came to him. Well, he started asking him for a tattoo on his finger with the inscription: "Walla, I love you!" motivating it by the fact that the only true way for him to apologize to his wife. And by the way, the tattoo master against this type of tattoos to madness) But that day the tattoo master was tired and he was just lazy to speak this person, and the direct messages he did not understand. To get rid of it, I made this tattoo. The tattoo was made, as the customer repeated repeatedly: "Walla, I love you!".
As it was later discovered, the client’s wife was named Light.

[ + 24 - ] Comment quote №102539
 05.09.2014
nx: you understand that because of you I had to add to the history of the browser search for the phrase "distance masturbator"?

[ + 26 - ] Comment quote №102538
 05.09.2014
Commentary on the news about two blacks found innocent after 30 years in prison:
And today not everyone can judge, rather, not only everyone can judge, few can do it.
We were already preparing for the earth.
zzz: Only each judge can hold his seat with four of two hands.
Vvv: Of them two all four sat off.)
What do you want?! to
Negroes are painted in the colors they are painted in.
RRR: Well you are burning!!! ))))

[ + 21 - ] Comment quote №102537
 05.09.2014
We do not place non-affiliate advertising on the poster tubes.
I don’t have a business seminar.
Do you have a practical magic workshop?
and almost. How long and happy to live in marriage.

[ + 30 - ] Comment quote №102536
 05.09.2014
A friend says two of his kittens often move the couch and move carpets around the house.

I have three cats (more precisely, a cat and two cats, one of which is only two months old) of medium size. And when these mini-elephants start the morning five-hour (in the sense, at 5 in the morning, not the length of 5 hours) rache (not raje) and ololonabigation... You wake up and look at the results: the carpet in the large room is almost a roll, the chair, usually standing at the computer table, lies (!) In the other corner, the paths in the hallway are on the wall, on the floor of a piece of advertising leaflet from the table at the mirror... The truth is that the couch is not moving yet, but who knows what will happen when it grows small.

[ + 30 - ] Comment quote №102535
 05.09.2014
> Wondery, it was made for the kids. When a parent is forced to sit in a row with the child because he has no place to go. This is a common practice in many institutions.

Well, I don't know, we were sitting in the same coffee shop with friends somehow, there were towels on the tables - a sheet of dense A3 paper with paintings, and on each table a cup with crayons of various colors. We were 10 people in 30 years, drank beer, painted towels, and competed for the better / funny ones. I got a lot of pleasure.)

[ + 22 - ] Comment quote №102534
 05.09.2014
So I see a man going to work in the morning: standing in front of the mirror and choosing - today with a bite I will go... although not, better with the smell of sweat. Takes the necessary bottle and watered abundantly from it his powerful hairy cheeks. He smells happy and goes to work.

[ + 24 - ] Comment quote №102533
 05.09.2014
Photo of parade. Poroshenko stands, behind him a par-troika of the highest military ranks, all in orders, medals...

The comments:

Where has Ukraine fought in the last 23 years?

WOW: on the Internet

[ + 32 - ] Comment quote №102532
 05.09.2014
here here :

The basement cat says:

Alka found somewhere a video where a large leopard is smoothed, and the one is cheering from pleasure. I decided to watch this video with the sound. Included the columns.

How does a leopard mourn? Right, very loud and impressive, like a tank.

As soon as the columns began to spread the uterine murmuring of a giant cat, the cat Klaus sprinkled onto the smoothboard and depicted a frog in the style of "I am not a frog, I am a branch." Kitty Tsingch signed with a coup to the nearest shelter - under the laundry dryer and covered himself with a blanket, shaking his eyes from there.

From the corridor came the sound of a hurried lightning - Risechka simultaneously tried to close a bag filled with a beat, put on shoes and at the same time said something on the phone to the taxi operator. It was heard only a fraction: “Urgency... Airport... Moon sugar... So that my feet...”.

I don't know how I'll go to the kitchen now, it seems that Herka barricaded from the inside and holds the door under the target, equipping a fire point on the refrigerator.

The fuck, the leopard.

However, when the video ended and the danger went away, each member of the cat band came to his knees and demonstrated that he was also able to murmur. Oh oh how! Wherever there are leopards.
_________________________
I wanted to check. The video was found, turned on to the loud. The cat sat closer and washed peacefully. But here’s the package, so I’m running out of the kitchen, it’s terrible! And you say, leopard... The package is a terrible thing!

[ + 27 - ] Comment quote №102531
 04.09.2014
Genre: fantasy, drama, family, short film, detective
Yozik in the Mist (1975)

Why "detective" when is this a psychological thriller?

[ + 32 - ] Comment quote №102530
 04.09.2014
Tammy said at the wedding:
We will raise a toast for the wonderful feeling that brought the newlyweds to this hall! This feeling is...
The direction! Talk from a distant table.

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