The first day of autumn. The Monday. 8 in the morning.
I go to the metro. I see a woman with a bouquet of flowers. Then the other.
Hm, I wonder what are these with flowers? Is it a celebration?"
I go further. I see a woman with flowers. In vain I try to remember what a celebration is today, and if I did not need to bring flowers somewhere.
I leave the metro. I see two teenagers with flowers:
"So what do you all...." And then it came to me)))

News from Yandex:
The first paid parking in the center of St. Petersburg will be free
by Facepalm

What are you guys? King is still alive and still writing.

They confuse him with Hitchcock.

In the suburbs of Moscow, an unknown killer maniac shoots accidental drivers who are caught on the roadside spikes. There are 14 bodies.
But no one is going to catch him. After all, he did not draw the flag of Ukraine and did not write in the ZH about scammers and thieves.

Cyx: Let me uncover a little mystery of the Big Bang Theory in my family...
Five years ago, my father stumbled with a gas machine... or rather with its valve... As a result, the gas plate became twice lower, the oven just disappeared as an option.
The cold man, along with the hood, flew through the apartment through two twists of ninety degrees. I never thought it would be possible at all!
By chance, I might even say a miracle!It went without serious injuries. A slight injury in the mother, standing a meter from the epicenter.
Oh yeah yes! The victim that day was a cat, who after half an hour of wandering around the apartment from eating simply could not get up.
Unfortunately I did not take a photo, but it wasn’t before.

I worked for a long time in a telecommunications company, almost all the time on the phone. At the same time, he gave to the rights and honestly passed honey. The Commission. I still have the final certificate that I am healthy and normal. I knock at W. Poliklinics, I open the door and on the machine: Hello, VolgaTelecom, hello! The print was eventually placed.

Interview with the specialist of gasprom automation B*na Natalia:

Calls in horror: you sent me a PDF file, it is different in color from the rest!!!! to
I: I've sent it and Wardowski, you can print the third page and replace it.
B: I can’t print it!! There are such corrections - well, as lawyers always draw when something rules - this file cannot be printed.
It is not printed!!! to
Send me another file.! to
I : which one? Will Tiffany work?
B: What is it? What type of typhus? I need a file.
Q: What file format do you need?
B: in the word
But it can be printed!!!!! to
I: in the word there is such a button "accept corrections", if you press it - all these terrible bugs will disappear))))))
B: Well if you can, send me the pages three and four!!!!!!! In the word!!! to
I: on the fourth page signature and stamp - you are going to re-sign it? How do we put our painting?
B: No, I need pages three, four... three, four...
Send them to me.
here before me begins to come..... in the lower column title killed 3/4 - the third of the four..................
sent to
B is silent.
I think she is happy 😉
I want to go to Gazprom :'(

Do you see the bag?
WOW: No
HH: And he is there!

This is:

I had a bunch of books in the elevator today! From about ten, among them considered "Command" with Schwartz on the cover, "Old Testament" and "Psalm".
Where does the world go?

You just didn’t read the Old Testament. It differs from Commando only by the presence in the plot of some commandments of a certain God. In other words, it’s almost the same crazy fighter.

gktuning: On one of the races (I don't remember, in Chernivtsi seems) overstated slightly - twisted twists, so, 5 through the roof. In the process I hear in the negotiation I hear the question of the stormman -"The stenogram is still needed or have you already arrived?"
In the finish, they got on the wheels, walked, went on the track, the assailant reads on - this infection didn't even fall off the line!

A little more:
We look at the training of trucks, at the time they were actively involved in the rally.
ZIL-130, in turn "catches the roof". Running, is it too little? We can see the picture: two jets hang on the belts down with the head, the assailant says to the driver: "Serega, in the race too, only slightly brake before entering this turn - I noticed in the stenogram."

Gideon: About the drinking.
Mr. Tomsk in the nineties. The company of men quays in the house, suddenly, as it happens, the drinking ends, the owner - in the barracks, a hat on the head, on the neck instead of a shell - a huge Siberian cat. Some man noticed the subject and wanted to remove the hat from him, grabbed the hat, but then a cat grabbed him! And so he grabbed that he pulled the tendons out of his wrist. The gopnik from pain and horror fell immediately, and the civilians turned him into a lie. The cat became a hero, about him in the newspaper even after that.

Wake up Gram-Nazi: I didn't stand, stocked once with a marker and in the middle of the day finally wrote another letter "C" on an outdoor advertisement of some kind of complacency - "Compromise (!) was found! An illiterate advertisement mocked my brain for six months, and with my signature it was removed the next day! Where is justice, Camden?? to

When you hear the phrase "your call is important to us", it becomes clear that you will have to wait a long time. But Volgogradgorgaz came up with a way not to force the subscriber to wait. They invented a new ending of the phrase:
Your call is very important to us, but all the operators are busy, so call back later. And the operator is one, and the waiting time in line is zero. This is Gazprom’s know-how.

On what account will Libya finally get to the Americans that they are doing something wrong?

Where did you serve?
Not far from Paris.
Oh you are! And where specifically?
In Chelyabinsk.
Figo is not far away.
Well I don’t know, the rotty said that the flight time is 12 minutes...)))

A lot of bureaucracy at work.
I went out of vacation and I think...and I need to write a statement about leaving?! to

The toilet theme.
Everything happens, but usually the bush can be found. Are you stuck or stuck in the elevator? They can be dealt with by quite legal methods. There are cameras in the elevators. And in the end, the lover dropped very quickly. He chose the voluntary cleaning of all the elevators.

But what is really angry is the owners of small dogs. This piece is cut only on the trail or on the sidewalk. It just doesn’t go into the grass. Half of the road is mined. The owners are pretty decent people. However, the most cultural response to the comment I’ve ever heard – "Is it hard to get around?" O_O...
In the dark I walk with the light.)

xxx: I don’t understand how you imagine the Ukrainian day? - stood up, zigzagged Banderas, ate a Russian-speaking baby, washed his blood, went to Cresthatik to sweep the "Moskala" on a mouthpiece, hated Russian, taught dissenters, ate a baby, and went to bed? You have your brains shaken with all the hernia, frankly
Turn to

YYY: Yes, I think when you’re working, you’re having time with such a tight schedule...

The summer was almost over, but in the last second Jennifer Lawrence saved him.

xxx: Do you have such a poor vocabulary... do you only read the refresher in the toilet?