bezdna.su — the best quotes and jokes from the abyss!



[ + 28 - ] Comment quote №94747
 03.03.2014
Everything is simple for them, for the English: “one” is one, “the one” is the only one. Everything is much more complicated: “one-one”! Understand these Russians.

[ + 60 - ] Comment quote №94746
 03.03.2014
Roam the trance right under the windows of the university. and smoke. The brigade is sitting down who on what, rotting bikes and rotting. I smoke while looking at the audience. It is warm and comfortable. The lecturer draws offogenic formulas. The first lines are carefully copied. Beautiful students secretly knock SMS.
Dreams of how good it is to be there, away from the digging of land and dirty cables.
I look at the child from the back. Who also dreamingly looks at my cuddly workers.

[ + 48 - ] Comment quote №94745
 03.03.2014
Vitalik received a message on the pager, from the paging company:
“The fool!” Buy your phone now!! We can’t shut up because of you for 13 years!!“”

[ + 25 - ] Comment quote №94744
 03.03.2014
Since rallies are prohibited in Russia, Russians travel to rallies in eastern Ukraine.

[ + 20 - ] Comment quote №94743
 03.03.2014
So tell me what the Emergency Ministry wants to, reminding you of the possibility of a flood and highlighting in the rule "do not panic" the second word capsom? The Orlov region.

[ + 28 - ] Comment quote №94742
 03.03.2014
Now on TV advertisement: "Team... Unlimited possibilities."
What about sudo?

[ + 26 - ] Comment quote №94741
 03.03.2014
It is you. You need a connection, you chose the phone and the operator, you did not make sure there is a coverage area. You knew in advance that you would not be able to use this thing normally and you bought it anyway. No one forced you. You had a choice and time to think about it.

FIGH themselves, even in connection they are trying to drop everything on the buyer.
I’m buying a phone and I don’t want to think about the coverage area.
By default, the phone should work where it is sold.

And I wish you, as in an anecdote - instead of toilet paper to get a tail and a map with the indication of the nearest leash.

[ + 46 - ] Comment quote №94740
 03.03.2014
With these pebble mercury lamps in our country, everything is more beautiful. if you bought them in the store of two hundred pieces of scraps, different brands and types, Ldšek there, DRLock, energy savings, poured them with a shaft in your four and bring them home - it is forever please. A flag in your hands and a laurel wreath on your head. If at home you have these lamps suddenly all burned, and you put them back in boxes and take them to the store to beat on the head of the seller-consultant - you are a violator, a bandit, and in general a rare fool, without the contempt of the laws of the Motherland. Because in this form, mercury-containing lamps are no longer lamps, but waste, bleat, first class of danger. With these lamps, you are on your bad four worse than any Chechen terrorist, because you have no license to transport waste, no shame or conscience. Only the earth carries you.

[ + 12 - ] [1 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №94739
 03.03.2014
XXX: I'm sorry, but someone's peys are flashing behind your seals.

[ + 28 - ] Comment quote №94738
 03.03.2014
I have four cats at home. For me, human charm does not work.

[ + 25 - ] Comment quote №94737
 03.03.2014
The owner:
to this:
Today I saw how the wicked man in the auditorium dropped a passing person in the back (the case was in the parking lot) and instead of apologizing, went out to him and started a fight.
*** by
Fighting, of course, is not a matter, but most often the pedestrians themselves are lambs who climb under the car. <...>
– – – –
Parking by parking, and I was once almost hit by a SUV, sharply slowed down after a pedestrian crossing and suddenly dropped back through the entire crossing, which, for a moment, was prohibited by the PDD. There are fools everywhere, among some and among others.

[ + 29 - ] [1 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №94736
 03.03.2014
and :-)

If you talk that way, I don’t even know what you think.

[ + 27 - ] Comment quote №94735
 03.03.2014
This year Rostov is not lucky: then snowfall, then traffic jams, then Yanukovych)

[ + 30 - ] [2 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №94734
 03.03.2014
There was a similar problem at our entrance. In the evening, when loaded on the network, the voltage dropped to 185 volts. I also thought about the stabilizer. But an active neighbor managed to find a malfunction and they replaced the switch in the basement. After that everything came back to normal.
Therefore, it is cheaper to find an evil neighbor with free time, scare her with the fact that in this state of the network, her refrigerator will crash (which is quite likely) and sneak on the electricists of the MUZEP. The evil neighbor is a terrible force.

[ + 31 - ] Comment quote №94733
 03.03.2014
First, the RSFSR received in exchange for him Karelia, which was previously a separate Soviet republic.
= = = = = = = = = = = = = =
I have to! Do you think of Ukraine??? :D

[ + 34 - ] Comment quote №94732
 03.03.2014
The Engineers
— — —
There is a law that prohibits building near water bodies.
So here. We sit with the management and think: how to build a river station?
— — —
Near the reservoir to build a bridge or pier, and the building of the river station is 10-20 meters from it.
It appears that all positions were arranged only by the mud with three class education.

[ + 26 - ] Comment quote №94731
 02.03.2014
"It is unclear to me with which hero the Crimean affairs are concerned with the Lithuanian minister"

It is (C)
Any neighboring country with Russia should now be concerned.
Especially the Baltic. You know, they already have that experience.

[ + 28 - ] [1 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №94730
 02.03.2014
What do you know about self-control? I sit behind the compound, eat seeds, a bunch of purification accumulated in a bag next to the table. I accidentally pull my hand, and the entire shell flies over the table and the floor. Okay, I wasn’t upset, I was an optimist) I went for the wreath, melted. I swept the whole room. I go to the exit, and here I accidentally cling to the door. Everything is falling apart again! Okay, calmly, everything has been gathered again, I go on, the urn is near. And here I get stuck with the savage for the next cushion...

[ + 33 - ] Comment quote №94729
 02.03.2014
1 March in Khabarovsk. 10 in the wind. In the bus is a man in one shirt with a mobile phone and a bag.
Bite it out, Chelyabinsk!

[ + 26 - ] [2 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №94728
 02.03.2014
The Lucky:
This

Grigorij Zhigalov: Russia officially declared war on Ukraine. Meanwhile, troops were introduced in Ukraine in advance, secretly, without declaring war. Who are the fascists then?

I may not understand, but how can you enter the army? Secretly in a foreign country? It is not five people. Where are the strangers to protect her? Where is the Army? Did none of them notice anything? Per you have a brain maidan and a spring exacerbation of sovereignty? If not, then you have a strange country.

In other countries, border guards and the army are in normal shape. We have three people forgotten by their state, one shepherd with sick kidneys and a rugged submarine. And, by the way, none of them and thoughts have to stop those who will make their lives better. Truth is better. Because what is now happening here is a complete p""children and blasphemy.

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