bezdna.su — the best quotes and jokes from the abyss!



[ + 26 - ] Comment quote №104749
 29.10.2014
How to Learn Java in a Year

Every time someone writes such an article, there are a little more people in the world who are confident that in a year they will have a lot of prostitutes and cocaine, but have little understanding of how cycles and conditional expressions work. andquot;

[ + 29 - ] Comment quote №104748
 29.10.2014
Second grade students and their knowledge.
I was walking somewhere with my daughters on the pitch. The oldest climbs the stairs on the hill, the smallest climbs around. The neighbor’s boy was interested in our dialogue.
Q: How old is she?
I: three years ago.
What about this (the younger indicator)?
I am 10 months.
M: How many years? year?
No, she has no year. Ten months. 12 months in the year. Do you know the months?
Yes, winter and spring.
By the way, later it turned out that this child was quite successful in finishing the first class.

[ + 27 - ] Comment quote №104747
 29.10.2014
About "Coursework"
Jokes joke, and in Ryazan and really there is a store called "Tyremok". It is located near the local seashore.

[ + 20 - ] Comment quote №104746
 29.10.2014
Russian currency does not help the announcement of long-awaited auctions of currency, nor the tax period. The ruble is still cheaper.

Q3: Can a cross walk take place?

[ + 42 - ] Comment quote №104745
 29.10.2014
I have three hundred pieces a month and I am deeply unhappy. And how can you, when you’re 25, be happy with life? Note that the “common people” are all the time attributed to mythical envy for the “work-loving and rich.” What does it come from? Yes, from the fact that some representatives of the middle class, especially in Moscow, having very good incomes, painfully envy their own employers... This is impossible: I didn’t have time to buy the fifth iPhone, and the sixth came out. How do you get the fifth person? Did you do things badly? Did you go anywhere in the summer? Did you go to Turkey and not to Nice? Something is wrong with you. You have been in the car for three years. A woman without a car. You are damaging.

Of course, it is a very tired life. When to the workshop of Peter Fomenko you need to go not because you like it, but because it is the workshop of Peter Fomenko. At the same time, it must, of course, cover a feeling of total unfreedom. Hence, these people and the screams about power are endless: they have absolutely no problems, and here you are turning, like a protein in a wheel, and you still do not have time... And one thing is happy - in the country tens of millions live worse than you. They must be jealous of you and they spit on you. How can you not cry out, “What are you doing, you poor butterflies?”

[ + 26 - ] Comment quote №104744
 29.10.2014
I work in theatre. The prisoners of the female colony were brought to the show today. They put the “Gypsy Baron,” although a different performance was originally planned for this day: “Baby Rebellion.”

[ + 22 - ] Comment quote №104743
 29.10.2014
If you are wise, you won’t have to repay the debt.

[ + 36 - ] Comment quote №104742
 29.10.2014
I ask for silence! With a loud voice, a young girl cried. She was 18, she was a student, a comsomol and just a beauty. It was the end of the 60s, or maybe the beginning of the 70s.She waited until the group was humbled and continued:
“Now we’ll all go to the station and collect the empty bottles!
The group disapproved, future lawyers were first-class students and did not think of wasting their time on any kind of stuff.
Then I will go alone and let you be ashamed!
Not all, but most have responded to her call.

The next day, at the end of the class, solemnly, in the presence of the whole group, she handed a new, snow-white, carefully wrapped in paper, shirt to the boy Beck.
“Hold on, Beckthorn, it’s a gift for you from all of us.
Becca turned red, smiled, whispered “thank you” to everyone who congratulated him and suddenly, suddenly, crushing everyone, ran out of the classroom...The group watched him out of the window as he quickly walked through the Oak Avenue, tightly pressing a clamp to his chest and wiping out his disobedient tears from shame or happiness. This was his first shirt in life.

The eighth of March 1998 began as usual, I was preparing breakfast for my wife, and then we went together to my aunt to the court to congratulate her on the holiday. By our arrival her office was already full of flowers and postcards. I walked entrepreneurially between them, choosing the bouquets I liked (so many women still need to congratulate). Here I got a beautiful bouquet with a card "from Becky".
Who is this, Becca?
This is the prosecutor of one city, we studied together at the institute.
- Good bouquet, I'll take it? I have to congratulate the crowd of women today.
Take of course.
Can this and that?
and Berry...

Later, the wife told the story about Becca and added that every year, as long as she remembers herself, on March 8, the aunt receives a bouquet of roses and a card "from Becky".
27 October 2014.

[ + 36 - ] Comment quote №104741
 29.10.2014
Is this a bordell?
This is a sauna.
How do I call the bordell?
Call back in two hours.

[ + 27 - ] Comment quote №104740
 29.10.2014
Tanya: There was another case. Do you remember selling old books? A grandmother on the market approaches me, takes a criminal book and says, “I love reading about murder. The grandchildren even say, "You are going to kill somebody yourself?""And indeed, it would kill everyone". He puts a book and leaves.

[ + 23 - ] Comment quote №104739
 29.10.2014
aaa: you’re more careful with this phrase =) I once joked that ‘the rains on the street are the same as I’m a ballerina’ and the rest of the day the wet under the rain colleagues in the choir sang to me ‘The Dance of the Little Swan’.

[ + 26 - ] Comment quote №104738
 29.10.2014
The situation is difficult to imagine, except when you dream that you went to the toilet, and in the morning you realize that in the night you really went.
and...
My body knows when it is possible, and when it is not possible: if you want at night, and you start to dream about the sort - the sleep will turn so that you can not go down.
That sorting on repair, then in it flooding, then, and once in all dreamed of sorting, made like a boutique in a shopping center: a chic dark finish of the walls and floors, spotlights in the ceiling, gold handles at the cranes, snow-white toilets along the walls - and a wide wall-vitrina, all in sight from the crowded store. How can I go here?! to
I had to wake up...

[ + 34 - ] Comment quote №104737
 29.10.2014
At the house, where there is a large cafe, the façade is repaired. Everything is covered with construction forests, paved pavements and a banner: "We look sad, we eat delicious!"

[ + 22 - ] [2 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №104736
 29.10.2014
Thus, the winner in the nomination "The Word of the Week"... becomes...

"The Fighting Rifle"

[ + 27 - ] Comment quote №104735
 29.10.2014
Technology is moving forward. Where are we without them?

[12.09.2013 11:15:22] Marat Yusupov: I even have a European navigator bought ))
[12.09.2013 11:15:30] Evgeniy Ginner: major))))
[12.09.2013 11:16:45] Marat Yusupov: well, we are in Montecarlo, we have to go to Barcelona, we came to Google Maps, Harmin said go nahuy I can only in Spain, on the Spanish simka with inets ended money and fill them except in Spain below
[12.09.2013 11:16:52] Marat Yusupov: What can I do???? to
[12.09.2013 11:17:44] Evgeniy Ginner: to buy. of paper. The map.

[ + 35 - ] Comment quote №104734
 29.10.2014
A acquaintance said:
As a trick, I pulled the elevator. I asked my neighbors if they were against it. I am sitting here, looking in my eyes. Well, how a decent man on the turnik will hang up and I will jump out and get acquainted with kajak!

[ + 34 - ] [1 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №104733
 29.10.2014
Neither "cats" nor "specials" will be useful for the birth. Most likely, both will ask for art support, and equate the "halves" of the enemy with the land. In order to enter the wrestling battle, a special forces fighter must lose a machine, a pistol, a knife, a sapphire shoulder, a helmet, a boiler, a blade, a belt, find a clean flat platform and a second of the same dungeon.

[ + 26 - ] Comment quote №104732
 29.10.2014
Q: Can I tell you about the vampire pony?

Ksu: This is a really interesting series.

Ksu: But they are speaking all their actions there!

How are you doing, Elena? “It doesn’t matter, because yesterday we fought with the twigs, and then my brother wanted to kill me with a twinkle for twins, because I can’t be killed by ordinary people, because I’m a twinkle!

Ksu: O Elena, I love you, kiss me! No, I cannot do it. I kissed Damon, your brother. Now you may have mental pain.

Ksu: I try to ignore it.

Ksu: But it’s just unbearable.

How to Watch Television

Ksu: with the difference that they do not repeat at least twice

Ksu: the desired

Ksu: No, they repeat

Ksu: There is no difference with the Telepushics

[ + 27 - ] Comment quote №104731
 29.10.2014
Sleeping> My friend today committed the theft at the Prosecutor’s Office.
<sleeping> Long chose the moment.I waited when everything turned away.
<sleeping> Now she has a ma-a-lanny outlet of a money tree.
<sleeping> He speaks – he brings happiness.

[ + 21 - ] Comment quote №104730
 29.10.2014
Ruble, "Faster, Higher, Further", is for athletes, you are not concerned. Go back on!

The best quotes and jokes from the bezdna