bezdna.su — the best quotes and jokes from the abyss!



[ + 32 - ] Comment quote №75187
 01.01.2013
Daniel came from hockey training, picked up water in the bath and said to the cat: "The coach said you have to strive to win! Important attitude for victory! And on such a note he throws the cat into the bath with the words:" Believe in yourself and swim!" Later when I wiped out the poor frightened cat and Danu mocked, he said: "It’s you, mom, that’s everything! No need to scream "What do you do! She feared you, and her will did not come together.

[ + 26 - ] Comment quote №75186
 01.01.2013
1 January :
What do we have for lunch?
Last year’s sailing

[ + 34 - ] Comment quote №75185
 01.01.2013
Lux: The real case. A witness told me today.

1986 in May. A teacher in the school calls a twin to the board.
Do you read anything?
–...
Read the newspapers!
I am reading...
-Then tell us what the country has a popular pain (meaning the accident at the Chernobyl NPP)
A little silent, the boy said:
Vodka is banned.

[ + 28 - ] Comment quote №75184
 01.01.2013
1st of January, nine in the morning. There are no cars, no people. The crowns are carving, the snow is filled with bloody glitters of confetti. The picture of the zombie apocalypse is organically completed by dog owners, somnambulistically walking their joyful pets.

[ + 22 - ] Comment quote №75183
 01.01.2013
HH: Well, how did he say?
Better you do not know.
HHH: So is it?
In my whole life, there has never been so much happening to me as it happened in one night.
In the first place, a stranger fell from above. The cat broke down the tree... it is still a mystery for me how it got to me.
No other way than through the ceiling.
WOW : WOW.
Then a drunk man knocked on the window and I regretted living on the first floor.
The smoke...
HH: I was there.

[ + 24 - ] Comment quote №75182
 01.01.2013
NH - as a repair - does not end as originally planned)))

[ + 26 - ] Comment quote №75181
 01.01.2013
I hope everyone has had time to promise to quit smoking, drinking, using drugs, finding a second half, learning a foreign language, changing jobs and bla bla bla bla. So let me remind you not to forget ;)

[ + 24 - ] Comment quote №75180
 01.01.2013
May this year be a magical and unforgettable year for everyone!

[ + 21 - ] Comment quote №75179
 01.01.2013
Oh, with my birthday at least Megaphone and Yandex congratulated me, and with the New Year at all no one...

[ + 21 - ] Comment quote №75178
 01.01.2013
The phrase of the first day of January was left behind a random passenger who met me at 10 a.m. on the street. I go from friends home to sleep, behind my back a backpack of 70 liters filled with all kinds of New Year's food, a man asks to smoke and, looking at the backpack, gives:
What are you from school?

And the point is not that I am currently in the fifth grade of the institute.

[ + 28 - ] Comment quote №75177
 01.01.2013
Sasha: I wonder how many herbs did the Indians try before they stumbled on tobacco?

[ + 29 - ] Comment quote №75176
 01.01.2013
by dimanich 20:19
Dear friends, I congratulate you all on the coming New Year. I hope that the NH will bring us a lot of positive and new emotions and fulfillment of all wishes. Happiness, health and love.

DDF 20:19
Dare to float
He desires
Scorpioned somewhere
by KAZEL!

[ + 24 - ] Comment quote №75175
 01.01.2013
What are you doing?
I am preparing for the new year.
How are you preparing?
I eat a mandarin =)

[ + 27 - ] Comment quote №75174
 01.01.2013
After the recovery, Skype received from one of his friends this log:

[19:58:05] hi hi you don’t borrow money on webmasters promptly hope to buy through cheats 2 with interest
[19:59:06] My friend: Hi! Has your computer caught a virus?
[19:59:25] The thief: No
[19:59:28] The thief: You are the chao!
[19:59:39] friend: then write as we know
Fuck, why are you so untrustworthy?

I am proud of my friends :)

[ + 20 - ] Comment quote №75173
 01.01.2013
C New Year, people, non-people and all-all!!! Admin to Cat! Schröder! Oh oh oh!! to

[ + 19 - ] Comment quote №75172
 01.01.2013
Glagol: I look out the window. Apparently, the clocks and letters don’t work. Everyone has fireworks!

[ + 24 - ] Comment quote №75171
 01.01.2013
and fire:
After sex, it must tell you that today I am just a king and a god, then wrapped up in a blanket, like a pigeon, sitting on the edge of the bed and cracking. The look crazy. Fisting under the nose. Not that I was very worried about it, but yesterday she said that I was somewhat strange, hanging shirts in color, maybe I should go to a psychologist? I still don’t know what to answer..."

[ + 19 - ] Comment quote №75170
 01.01.2013
I have been cooking potatoes since that year.

[ + 17 - ] Comment quote №75169
 01.01.2013
1 – It is not fat.
It is not slim)

[ + 30 - ] Comment quote №75168
 01.01.2013
In the summer I took a loan at the bank for a large amount and a long term.
Now for the New Year comes from this bank SMS-ka:
Bank "Take-to" wishes you financial well-being and long years of life.
Here are the fucks.

The best quotes and jokes from the bezdna