bezdna.su — the best quotes and jokes from the abyss!



[ + 49 - ] Comment quote №64626
 24.05.2012
Listen I noticed this trend when I am at work, advertising Yandex offers English courses, training, etc. And when I’m at home, there’s all kinds of sex shops.
WOW: Don’t tell anyone about it anymore.

[ + 34 - ] Comment quote №64625
 24.05.2012
Interestingly, did the Minister of Education and you hear these words?
You understand that the knowledge of an engineer is now required of the modern worker. He must be able to think with the calculation of an economist. And for this it is necessary to learn." (c) A big change

[ + 46 - ] Comment quote №64624
 24.05.2012
Call the Audi dealer.
Client: "I can’t remove the front headsets, no buttons, nothing. I’ve been trying to remove it for half an hour. Please help"
Master: " Press the button under the cover and push it up"
The client clarifies where to go several times, the master, irritated, explains again and again.
The client, apparently, hears that the master is boiling: "I'm sorry for the boredom, but I weigh 105kg and I'm a former wrestling master. I need to know exactly where to press, or the chair is already suspiciously screaming...."

and :)

[ + 35 - ] Comment quote №64623
 24.05.2012
Worms 3D / Worms 3D [RePack]

[ + 39 - ] Comment quote №64622
 24.05.2012
At work, a woman travelled to Turkey and bought a shirt there. As the Arabs told her, from the Cheshire cat, to chew. Now he boasts. To my question: What is a smile guide? The rest are pulling >_<

[ + 26 - ] Comment quote №64621
 24.05.2012
8 Series of Game of Thrones
I'm starting my Game of Thrones now.
See also: Session
xxx: House "Decanate" declared war on the home "students". Home "Teachers "as long as waiting to choose one of the parties. Home "dining " and "buffet" just make money from the war of other homes.
XHH: is it like that?

[ + 44 - ] [5 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №64620
 24.05.2012
I thought this: if you kill a killer, the number of killers will not change.

Kill a few, it will change.

[ + 34 - ] [6 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №64619
 24.05.2012
In no movie with Johnny Depp Johnny Depp is like Johnny Depp.

[ + 31 - ] [2 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №64618
 24.05.2012
I was a shit.
Congratulations, but I guessed.
I am around home! O-Lo at home! to

[ + 32 - ] Comment quote №64617
 24.05.2012
I: I need sex, I am a man! Do I have to do onanism or can a prostitute be filmed?

Wife: Take care of onanism

[ + 27 - ] Comment quote №64616
 24.05.2012
A new girl?
HP: Yes
HP: Guy, she is 19 years old, she is 92 years younger than me by 6 years. She is even younger than my brother.
Admiral: Boy, she’s even younger than my first bike.

[ + 31 - ] Comment quote №64615
 24.05.2012
Our friend (appearing to be a very intelligent man), having lived to the age of 35, seriously thought that birds reproduce with keys!!! to
On the same topic: one acquaintance, who was also 30 years old, was absolutely sure that the turtles come out of the cage at night and so multiply, and then come back!! to

[ + 32 - ] Comment quote №64614
 24.05.2012
VKontakte survey on the wall of a man: Which club in Ufa is the best?
Tagged with: Hockey-Salavat Juventud

[ + 37 - ] Comment quote №64613
 24.05.2012
1 What do you do?? to
In life or now?
At the moment, in life you are suffering.
I don’t change my principles ?

[ + 27 - ] Comment quote №64612
 24.05.2012
Wisdom is when you understand that a good erection is better than wisdom.

[ + 22 - ] Comment quote №64611
 24.05.2012
The fool prevents everything, the wise man uses everything.

[ + 46 - ] [13 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №64610
 24.05.2012
The Universe 25

How to make paradise? It’s hard to say, at least for people. In 1972, John B. Calhoun attempted to make a paradise for mice: a square tank two-to-two, one-and-a-half meters high. Food, temperate climate, cleanliness, nests for females, horizontal and vertical walks for males. Four pairs of healthy rats were sent to heaven. After 104 days, they had their first offspring. Parents took care of the children. In the "Universe 25" (so called the experiment) came the golden age. The mice loved each other and every 55 days the population doubled, only after 315 days the growth slowed. In the universe 25 there were now more than 600 mice. The males became more difficult to defend their territory, the moves now needed to crawl, free social roles almost did not remain, as well as free space. There appeared the "denied", and they began to gather in groups in the center - their outbursts met with violent resistance. Soon, mothers began to psychotically attack their children, the birth rate fell. Single females moved to the top hard-to-reach nest, and among males there became more and more pronounced narcissism. These males did not fight, did not want carnal comforts – they only ate, slept, and engaged in self-analysis. But at the same time, in the distant corners, cannibalism, sinfulness and violence flourished. After 18 months, the mouse growth of the universe finally stopped. And a month later (600 days from the beginning of paradise life), with a very low number of new pregnancies, the mortality of the young man reached 100 percent. Narcissistic males and females hiding in distant holes lost the desire and social ability to mate. The mouse society has collapsed. Heaven turned into hell. All are dead. The good scientist repeated his experience many times, but the result was one: at a certain stage, after the explosion of violence and hypersexual activity, asexuality and self-destruction followed.

Finally a little positive. Who has survived the longest in hell? It turned out that they were mice capable of coping with as many social connections as possible. In the universe, 25 of the most sociable, innovative, intricate mice survived the longest.

This is the courage.

by PS. All coincidences with a series of human wars, unleashed sexuality, urban riots, finally outraged citizens, pornography and hatred of women, domestic violence, single mothers, unreasonable aggression and social survival in the internet are coincidental.

[ + 37 - ] [3 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №64609
 24.05.2012
Only men after refuelling at the gas station shake a gun in the tank.

[ + 45 - ] [3 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №64608
 24.05.2012
Herace, I thought Vítka would be fired
YYY: For what?
XXX: Do you know? He burned yesterday. The check came, all the senior bosses came, he stood near the dressing room, smoked, listened to music in his headphones. And here behind him comes the General Director of the entire network of enterprises, i.e. A figure that is free to execute and grace, and in general to close to hell our branch! He approaches Vitka and asks if he knows where the technological maps are. And this in the ears deserves zero attention. The general cautiously knocked his hand on his shoulder, this man turns around, removes the headphones (nearly no one knows the general's face) and loudly so on the whole workshop: "Go naked, don't see, I have a break?The master stood neither alive nor dead, the chief of the shop was all pale, the general was shaken by the pressure of the air from Vity's throat, said nothing, turned and left. We think, all, flew out Without Calculation. And today the deputy director comes and hangs orders on the stand.
YYY: What is it?
xxx: Operator Krapivin Viktor to provide 7 full working days of extraordinary leave with payment of 100% in connection with the state of increased nervous excitability on the basis of jealous attitude to work!!! to
YYY: On the ground of what? I also want a vacation, give me the gender number, I will also call him on the phone!!! to
xxx:*facepalm*

[ + 35 - ] Comment quote №64607
 24.05.2012
Have you recently seen an advertisement with a print?) is :

"The Lost Phone... (description)
Please return it. I rejected.
Lithuania"

I think the guys will come back :)

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