My most terrible ability is to answer phone calls in the morning. Respond with a calm voice and go to sleep. Looking at the list of incoming calls during the day.

Wife: Can you help me make the cakes?
Husband (m): - Noah... I don't like to fight with flour, the hands are then sticky from the test, I still get bored all...
I would learn to cook. If I die, who will cook the cake for you?
M (romantically): – You’ll die – and I’ll die... So don’t worry.
I will die of old age, and then you will die of hunger in a week.

I want to get angry. :D
Tag: be affected
Tag: falling in love
Tagged: blatant
I want to fuck.
Theme: OOO
Thats the norm.

XXX: I start to fear my own authority
YYY: Don’t blow them in front of the mirror in an erected state and everything will be fine.

I ran for 3 hours until I found a branch of Sberbank, which is not on repair and accepts payments. I came up with a new slogan - you'll lose weight with us.

In the first couple, two people came...
You are beautiful 😉
XXX: That is fine. Prepod went in, asked how things are, said that we two are psychic and went to make tea for us :D

AAA> Engaging employees from a competing company I find unacceptable
BBB> Why
CCC> Because Yuri’s Day is there.

Mark Mammon
I do not understand what you are talking about. In the junior classes did not teach literacy, plebey?

Mikhail Sofronov
The Playboy itself. Do not abuse

In the throat:
I went to the store tonight, next to me, there is a 200 white crochet and a new black passat.
From the cruise, a rabbit oreth, three minors aged 17-18, one of them asks me: "Do you want to spend the evening with cool guys?"
I answered "I want you to go to your fathers? Did they know they took their cars?and"
In response I heard the current something like - "no and shit")

Well, and how long will such children be sure that if the girl is beautiful, then seeing a expensive car, will happily jump into it immediately?

Until they stop sitting there.

XX: And you love the quests!
YYYY: Yes
xxx: Come to me in the bottom box of the table, there is a paper with passwords. Connect by the ssh protocol to our server, log in under user, type su, enter the password of the route, remove from the firewall configuration (/etc/fierwall) two rows, where it is written prohibition to send traffic by the ssh protocol to the external network interface, restart ipfw (/etc/rc.d/ipfw restart) (P.S. on the server editor vi, on the wall above the table hang 4 sheets with commands). All the rest I will do myself.
YYY: What does it mean to log in?

was washed. dressed, painted, sneezed... washed, painted 😉

XXX: Serena, I am so bad. I want to scream. But I think they won’t understand me. Let’s go somewhere, let’s smoke and scream.
YYY: Will we scream?
That’s what you like to scream.
yyy: "Employed"
The Fucks...

Moidodir: what’s there in Belarus, I don’t think it’s different from here. But this fucking check-up before the flight is 100% profanation. Doctors are nowhere and never in such places except on paper.

psydoc: Well I don't know, our driver does not breathe in the pipe, but he doesn't need it) We made him a mandatory item in the contract, so that he would seam before getting to work away from sin.

Moidodir: flies and flies. Didn’t you accidentally cut off Sissadmin’s cock so he didn’t watch porn?

Anger steals the mind.

One married American was not lazy to record all the cases of sex with his wife and the arguments she raised in favor of not engaging in them.

The annual report looked like this: Sex – 12 times.

Reasons not to do:
“I just laid fresh clothes today” – 55 times.
“I’m tired” – 50 times.
“I’m not in the mood” – 44 times.
“I have critical days” – 27 times.
“I have a headache” – 23 times.
“It is too late. I have to get up early tomorrow.” – 20 times.
“It’s too early” – 19 times.
“I can’t miss this series” – 19 times.
It hurts me 17 times.
“I have a mask and bigudi” – 17 times.
“I’m too hot” – 16 times.
“You don’t see, I’m sleeping!” – 16 times.
“We Wake Your Mother” – 10 times.
“I was terribly burned in the sun” – 8 times.
“You hear, because of you a child has woke up!” – 8 times.
“Neighbors will hear” – 4 times. P is

In order for the podkova to bring happiness, it is necessary to stick it to the horse's head and smell, smell, smell.

1st of April. We sit with friends and a girl in a mac. And she's so quiet with me, if something doesn't suit her, then she sits like no business, cries, and so on. I ask her, what happened. She broke for a long time, eventually surrendered to my torture and interrogation, when everyone left to smoke, issued: "I did the test today." I, shocked, ask:"and what?", she sneezes. Within a second I quickly scrolled through my plans for the next eight years, reassuringly imagining how they, in the form of a pile of papers, are absorbed by the scraper. I went out to my friends and they said to me, “You’re somewhat pale.” I’m already thinking about where she needs to give birth, I don’t want to go to the nursery, there’s no Freud or fig. She asks me, “What do you think?” and “What do you think?” Well, I still had hope at that moment, the size of an electron of a carbon atom that was confused in the universe from a drop of the swallow of a Siberian flea, I and gry: "I think it's April 1st." She said:"Yes", she stopped and ran away. 0 0 0

I figured with my husband! :) I lie in bed in the evening, he lulls me, whispers compliments on my ear, kisses... I just melt! Suddenly he stands on his elbow and says, “You’re such a nursery that I don’t even want to fuck you sometimes!”

What a white cat!! to
We wash it with a lace.

Many remember and love the flying board of the 2015 sample from the trilogy 'Back to the Future. So, judging by the specifications and size, it is the iPad 6. Apple, let’s push it up!