bezdna.su — the best quotes and jokes from the abyss!



[ + 24 - ] Comment quote №148994
 11.02.2018
Salary Doctors
You don’t judge Moscow, right? We have in Khabarovsk on the hospital parking lot of cars for 180-200-350 thousand. Naturally, it is b / u toyota, Nissan, Mazda, Hyundai and other Asian automotive industry. I personally have a 1987 Toyota, and it costs 50,000 now, but I will not sell it. Because it was with these machines that Japan conquered the world.
Who is there for the beautiful Jeeps near the morgue?
They are sanitary.
Are these modest sedans?
They are doctors.
- And who is this going, in a clothed hat, jacket and crosses?
This is Professor! Welcome to Vladimir Petrovich!

[ + 30 - ] Comment quote №148993
 11.02.2018
Good clothes make a woman beautiful.
Bad clothes color the water =)

[ + 18 - ] Comment quote №148992
 11.02.2018
Hermione (English pronounced Hermione) - the name of Greek origin, the female version of the name Hermes, means "a messenger". In general, Rowling in Harry Potter perfectly mocked British traditions of naming children, especially in wealthy families. Who doesn’t believe – read or look at Jives and Wuster, there every second aristocrat has a foolish name like Augustus or Hildebrand.

[ + 34 - ] Comment quote №148991
 11.02.2018
<bla-bla about the book>
The “Papa has a heavy car” "The “Papa has a heavy car” "The “Papa has a heavy car”. Oh my God, where do they need it? They read and do not understand what they are reading.

Because, dear man, it is a work of a vocabulary reserve. And the task of the person with whom the child reads the booklet, all these words to explain and indicate the scope of application. Are there people in a healthy mind wishing their children a lexicon of Ellochki-human-eaters?

[ + 26 - ] Comment quote №148990
 11.02.2018
XXX: Our people are genius. And when you go on the occasion with the customer, whispering with the heart you offer a solution from Mr. & Mrs. and sticks definitely someone will offer to save on sticks.

YYY: On the sticks, it’s still there and there, but when they offer to start saving on g@outdoors – that’s when the most mapping show begins.

[ + 31 - ] Comment quote №148989
 11.02.2018
[11.02, 15:49] xxx: Arrived to Oganesians to return the screwdriver
[11.02, 15:49] xxx: Feeding
[11.02, 15:49] xxx: Drunk
[11.02, 15:49] xxx: I handed out the pants from Germany and let go with peace, I adore this family)))

[ + 28 - ] Comment quote №148988
 11.02.2018
The doctor is not a doctor, the patient is alive. And they can even recover, which brings certain moral satisfaction. And the judge? Who opens up that is scary to look at? If he does not treat bodies like meat, he will not be able to work. He will either crash or die from a heart attack. Or, as is often the case, it will have a roof.

[ + 26 - ] [1 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №148987
 11.02.2018
We watched with my daughter today "Wallie", well, I had to explain on constant "chips" that "This robot was left to clean the garbage", "And this robot was sent to look for life, so that people could understand that on Earth can live again.""And why does he then shoot?"I also became interested, why a five-year-old child is obvious, and the adult uncles who created the cartoon do not.

[ + 37 - ] Comment quote №148986
 11.02.2018
Website for Parents:
“I’m waiting for a boy and we have Wi-Fi at home. Could this affect my future son?
Of course! Your son is going to be Siddhartha!! to

[ + 44 - ] Comment quote №148985
 11.02.2018
Obviously

Well, why the dragon can be understood as a virgin. Why should a girl be the most beautiful? The dragon doesn’t care what form of meat to eat.

Don’t be ashamed to post your food on Instagram

[ + 44 - ] Comment quote №148984
 11.02.2018
At the time of the Olympics, wars were stopped. The Olympic Games are the continuation of war by other means.

[ + 29 - ] Comment quote №148983
 11.02.2018
Sohaty: We’re going to go to Moscow with a hoppestop.
The Cat: LOL Maybe by car? 😉
Sohaty : No.

[ + 19 - ] Comment quote №148982
 11.02.2018
XXX: I am currently dating Katie. By passport, of course, it is still Serezha, but will soon have to change. And you know, you all sit down, don’t be ashamed, but I’m better to stand.

[ + 33 - ] Comment quote №148981
 11.02.2018
XXX: What did you buy?
and Scotch.
XXX: This is not the Scottish.
Yyy: In the sense, not the one we deserve, but the one we need?
xxx: I asked to buy a special painting scotch.
Yyy: Oh, it’s like malars don’t care about drinking.

[ + 46 - ] Comment quote №148980
 11.02.2018
Once, when I was on duty at the headquarters, I was on duty at the police station. From each company when serving on the switch, arrangements are transmitted, such as who is daytime, who is on duty. I recorded all the information in the journal and sat down on the ballad. Replacement for today. I stretch out to him the journal, he looks, on a table in three companies (and we have five of them) Rabshana and Jamshuta. Go up. I free him the space behind the switch, he raises the telephone, presses the call of one of his mouths. After the day-to-day response, something like a day-to-day tube button looks! Quietly speaking to the telephone -I'm your mom and ball, and it includes a loud communication. Dnevalny does not know that this is a police officer, he begins to react with a selective mat and his own and Russian and promises of punishment, up to murder. Zampolit quickly connects the second company. The second daytime raises the tube, and from there, the matts, and even with threats. He begins to scream in response. Zampolit quickly incorporates the following company. We listen to an incredible scandal on the air, and we mourn with laughter. I would never have imagined that our police would be such a joke.

[ + 23 - ] Comment quote №148979
 11.02.2018
xxx: Some members of the guild shared with me things they did not share with anyone else. Someone suffered from depression, alcoholism and drug addiction. Sometimes female players became victims of harassment by male players. Sometimes husbands asked me how to save their marriage – I usually advised them to stop playing so much at Ultima Online.

[ + 26 - ] Comment quote №148978
 11.02.2018
Because of your Negroes I read about the languages of Africa. One of them is the Ethiopian language of the tigris. I want!I want to talk to the tiger! It sounds like!

[ + 25 - ] Comment quote №148977
 11.02.2018
>and asks who stands closer to the distribution table: Give me...

Now think about what she thinks about you.

Personally, I have that spruce that spruce is usually associated with decoctions.
The berries were collected earlier from the bushes and cooked in the winter.
Just the shrub grew less often than the shrubber, the berries were smaller, the effort was greater, and the shrubber was considered more useful.
As a result, if everyone knows about the decoction of shrimp berries, then about the same thing, but many have already forgotten about the shrimp.

But alcoholic solutions from the pharmacy are a persistent association to the name only in alcoholics.
When they don’t even think that there is even a decoction.

[ + 31 - ] Comment quote №148976
 11.02.2018
xxx: these athletes in their sports are directly impaired. One, only born, left the infant at home and ran on skies to ride
yyy: the milk is gone))

[ + 34 - ] Comment quote №148975
 11.02.2018
Today I discovered the cause of a leak under the washing machine, about which my husband was drinking for two months. The joint of the tube with the knee was detached. Clamped with a hermetic, wrapped with a fumen.
And he? Standing and watching. I gave the knives. It is good to be an elephant 2 meters tall and weighing 120 kg. He just doesn’t get under the washing...The next time I’ll choose a man smaller...

The best quotes and jokes from the bezdna