Life will disappear on Earth and appear on Pluto.

We will break it all there. (c) Political Party "United Pluto"

XXX: If the car starts only from a barrel, what could be the case?
YYY: Could the battery have fallen?
YYY: A real case: as if they were driving through the woods on a gazelle in a dark evening, nothing predicted trouble until they stopped sucking and for something they were silenced, and silence... in the light of phones they realized that they lost their batteries on the road.

by Geektimes
NSA: Hi, an AAA user via Twitter agreed to buy an explosive, assembled a bomb and will soon explode it. Can you tell me from which city he last logged in?
Twitter: The last login from Labudaland, Nevada. Write more, we will be happy to help.

Roskomnadzor: Hi, we suspect that 3,500 people have read the tweets of the BBB user, give us the full statistics on him, his contact details and where he logged in from.
Twitter: Don’t give up?
Roskomnadzor: Twitter is violating Russian law

It’s crazy how quickly technology changes. In school, my phone couldn’t even take pictures, now I have a bracelet that tells the police that I’ve left my home.

A sister, entered the medical school, and after a couple of months tortured all the households, she began to find all the diseases, especially in the neck, then her angina, then the "balls" ride behind her ears, and recently began to give the tonsils, that she was swollen, hurt and asked everyone to look, and one day my aunt came to visit us, and her mother told her about the medical addictions of her daughter, approached her and said that she also had problems with the tonsils, approached her sister, raised her beard, showed her hands where the tonsils were not and said:

You see, I’m swollen too, touch, do you feel?

Same swollen as me!

I have removed them...

Not only my sister laughed.

It is worth remembering the quote that was here 5 years ago.
I got an apartment from a distant relative. There was no repair since the house was built-naturally, pipes and so on. Everything is hole. I started changing the toilet, switched off the water, removed everything as required. I decided to move a little bit (the new toilet in the shape is more lengthy - it would be uncomfortable to get up in the old place) and became a perforator to tap the floor - it was necessary to make a hose. 3 hours of day. I turn on the perforator, immediately ringing the door-neighbor from below, a bullshit-looking man. He has a child sleeping, so I have to wait until he wakes up, not to wake up O_o While I tried to explain that the matter can not wait until the child is asleep - I also have a family and everyone, forgive me, want to write, the man stood with a boring appearance, and then gave me in the nose. A "child" turned out to be 17 years old and he came from the club, so he sleeps...Now we judge....Not all the neighbors with the perforators of the bastard((»»»

No one owes anything to anyone. I do something for my partner because I want to do it. He does something for me because he wants to do it. And we are together not because someone owes something, but because every morning we wake up and decide to spend the day together. No insults, no debts and no feelings of guilt. Relationships cannot be built on wine, they must be built on desire. Then everything will work well.

Just as I settled in my village, I paid attention to one uncle. He argued loudly with the saleswoman in the store. The sight of him was more than that - buggy, bald and with a tattoo on the forearm. There was a village resident... Then I heard a lot more about him, that he shot the dog angry and fought with a drunk fisherman. And I saw his face, from time to time, not knowing, naturally. Greetings for the case. One day, my friends and I were walking in the woods and saw him shooting from a gun, into bottles. Unclean, healthy, bald (the baldness I have for some reason is always associated with criminals), not even paying attention to us when we passed. Well, what to say, I feared this man, the village is not simple, there are all sorts of things, including, probably, and "authorities", that hundreds of people were shot and cut.



And one day, by my melancholy, I decided to walk in the forest alone, to think about the eternal and to merge with nature. At the entrance of the forest, I was met by this man. In the green costume, I looked at the undercover and smiled. I turned, and with a quick step, without looking under my feet, led me to the village. She walked quickly, regardless of her legs... She turned around the rotting stem of the berry, and so strongly that she could not walk on her foot, she began to jump on one leg. And the man approached me, well, I think everyone would rape and kill.



The man started to run to me. I tried to maintain self-control, and when he approached, he joyfully said "Hello!" He did not rape and kill me, but just touched my leg, telling me that there were no fractures, but there was a severe stroke. Almost on his hands brought to the house, and wrote to his dad, which ointment the leg now to lubricate.



He was a surgeon at a regional clinical hospital. I was right, he cut down hundreds of people.

My grandmother (approximately 60 years old) got married in the village. They actually got married to the same elderly grandfather. We ask, why is it suddenly her old age broke the relationship to form and generally, what are the motives and so on? The answer killed with its simplicity. I say, when I go to the bathroom with him, we dress up, he hangs so beautifully!

"...64MB of opera is enough for everyone,"

The original was 640 kb, but modern brains refuse to perceive it? It hangs on the main. Officially, CH

From the news:
The police officer came into the bordell under the guise of a client. With him were issued operatives devices - a magnetic audio carrier and hidden video camera, as well as 10 thousand rubles. The police officer paid for intimate services and selected the girl. She went to the kitchen to hand over the money to her employee. The police officer pursued her, and then showed the girls his passport and explained that it was a control purchase.
The document of the night butterflies did not impress: they accused a student of the University of the Ministry of Internal Affairs of fraud, and then one of them struck him with a pot on the head. He woke up in a room already connected. According to the victim, the girls applied to him sex toys and clothes. Only after half an hour colleagues of the control buyer managed to break the door and save him.

And another one:
Here is another option for you:

I have a business, today or tomorrow I will be pressed and found a reason to be put on, the wife with the stamp will be forced to redeem for the rest of her life, and the wife without the stamp will keep the family capital, will redeem and provide me and we, alive, will try elsewhere.

Not today or tomorrow you will find younger, more colored, bigger breasts, etc. My wife will have to leave with nothing. And all the funds invested in your life is just a prospect. And if you have a share in the business, you will sit together.

You will be planted, and the woman without a stamp will find her hand, saying, I am not me, the horse is not mine, and with the family capital will try elsewhere.

Hey, Santa would have brought me a laptop wrapped in a beautiful foil with stars...
WOW: Do you know what is right to say "FOLGA"? Those who say "folga", Santa does not bring laptops.
HHH: Well, then let him put me in the FOLG plAnchett from sAmsung ^_^

Or maybe then...

The original text did not disclose who paid for the apartment and for whose money the refrigerator was filled. Something seems to me that the girl was not involved.

Should I sleep with a friend too? From herra, she must cook for 2h, if only one of them satisfies her. She is not a hired housewife for two bats.

My friend has returned from a week's trip. This was the conference to which she was sent for the first time. The challenge was to find new suppliers for our products. Her first phrase when she returned: "I had so many contacts that the whole card was swollen."
dusted

You went to the poor cleaner. Per a bag for 300,000 rubles her husband, a sanitary technician from Rosneft, gave.

Here is another option for you:

I have a business, today or tomorrow I will be pressed and found a reason to be put on, the wife with the stamp will be forced to redeem for the rest of her life, and the wife without the stamp will keep the family capital, will redeem and provide me and we, alive, will try elsewhere.

Not today or tomorrow you will find younger, more colored, bigger breasts, etc. My wife will have to leave with nothing. And all the funds invested in your life is just a prospect. And if you have a share in the business, you will sit together.

4pda processors discuss who uses the oldest processor
by Futaba,
I’m sitting on the 4004, and it’s all flying.
thatyron
The Z80 unfolded and elegant even the text does not brake when set
and Yron,
The stone from the garden pulled, does not fly, but can be pushed

Regularly seeing reports that the people are looking for the “Hateful Eight,” he did not betray the importance of this. Few people need a Windows 8 distribution. It turned out a film.

I was on a medium-sized bus. Next to me stood a guy of hopeless appearance, his phone ringed. He raises the phone, turns on a loud call and says in a quiet voice:

“Sanya, I’ve broken the speaker, so I’m talking loudly... Let’s go without any matter and excessive information.

From the phone to the bus:

- Hey... People, this is my friend Wenya, he's not given a girlfriend for half a year, so he's a dalbo2.17b...

Three seconds of silence, then a whisper from all sides.