I sent a package to my wife at the post office, something from cosmetics. American brand, made in Japan, dispatched from Switzerland and sold by an Australian company.
Are the Chinese not a thumb?

I delighted Google, went to their map, found the building of Google itself, approached and walked around the territory of the complex, around the beauty: summer, the sun shines, the trees are green everywhere, people in shorts - I take another step, and the heracles - the autumn has arrived: it became turmoil, the sun is not visible, there are no people and trees without leaves. I take a step back again summer and beauty... generally decided not to go to that part of Google, there is obviously something bad going on!

I went on a New Year vacation in Egypt. Now I definitely hate Tagil... really I didn’t decide which, Upper or Lower?
P.S. I apologize to the people of this city.

I realized that it was time to go to bed when I poured water out of the cup and said, “Thank you.”

<[stuff]> Wife and wife
<[stuff]> she decided to try out the old shoes of the small on the slender, so here, damage the total mass put up popsic rubber boots, for 50 hryvnia
<[stuff]> purely symbolic
<[stuff]> calls the grandmother, asked about them, the type in which they are in condition and all that.
<[stuff]> baby - well take a little money, wife - no question, take for 40 hryvnia
<[stuff]> grandmother - well, after them our grandfather will come, take
<[stuff]> the wife thought could give them at all for free, probably no money, once they trade for pennies, well.
<[stuff]> comes in 2 hours grandfather...
<[stuff]> on the outdoors
<[stuff]> gets the press bubble and long searches among 200s and 500s for forty hryvnia
<[stuff]> takes the boots and says - like if they suddenly don't fit us I'll come and return!
<[stuff]> fuck it, it’s a fuck just

Player in the box: collecting money on the "Mashenka, 3 years old, starmaker", now here is the aunt with a star status... And where is the state?

Whc: And the state's more important tasks are to paint the Olympics, so that other countries are in shock - what is the volume, what is the efficiency, to build roads that are collapsing next year ten times more expensive than in other countries in the same climatic zones, to write off debts to everybody, to keep the autoprop (national already only nominally), to be an allah in the Caucasus, to develop desantable temples... this is also more important than raising quotas for high-tech treatment, fundamental and applied science, diversification of the economy.
This is more important to you personally. Let’s look around and don’t ask naive questions.

An employee about her new Skype foreign language teacher:
C: He is so cool, he lives in Crimea, by the way, your countryman!
I: What a landlord, he is in Crimea, and I was born in Magadan!
C: Well, it’s also on the shore. Both of you are from the planet Earth.
The portion. Three minutes later:
C: You just don’t write this on Facebook, or I’ll never get married!

You are unlikely to publish this quote, but I will describe one of the happiest days in my life:
AI: W, install me finally FineReader!
I am busy, then
A.I.: You’re setting me this crazy program for the third day!
I am... la! Log *** pas ***, put it yourself
A.I.: And you don’t think that the disclosure of your login and password is a breach of privacy and threatens corporate security?
A: I went to X. stupid sheep I have a cattle, I want them.
AI: I’ve dreamed about it since the first day of work here: You’re fired!
A: What is it?
A: I am now the head of our department. ))
A: What is it?
AI: The SS was transferred by the director to another branch, now I am in his place. You must come to work on time, it was announced at the meeting.
B is............
AA: Don’t drag, write on your own quickly, I’ll sign.
B is............
Q: AI, and I said that you are the most beautiful and smart woman I have ever met!
A: Every day! "B: Going to X., a dumb sheep"
B is............

From the series "the mouths of the baby"- the mom shared the story of one employee from work.

A 3-year-old child from the family remained at home with his grandmother and a small dog model of the "thy-terrier", who breaks off with his nightmare-looking voice and will not humble himself.

The little boy approaches the grandmother and gives: “Ba, it is necessary to give her (the dog) puzzles!”", she, naturally, is shocked by such a rich vocabulary and answers: “You can’t say so!”", what the child says to her: “You can’t say, but you can give!”". The curtain!

There have already been archery, catapult and monks on the Maidan... soon there will be Griffons and Angels and they will go to beat the necromants.

XXX: Look at the banners. I dropped 3 sizes.
Yyy: Without diets and exhausting puppies?

In the news: "Snowden gave a encrypted interview to the magazine New Yorker"

Wizard: And why did you think it was encrypted? Maybe he’s just a shit?

- As a child, they did with their girlfriends "secretaries" - beautiful fantasies, bushins were placed in a hole and covered with glass. They believed that in many years, they would become real jewelry. Once in the institute with a friend walked in that courtyard, remembered the secretaries, decided to look for them. Incredibly, we found one! And in it was a worm...Life is pain :(

I looked out the window and saw a guy walking in the backyards. I think I’ll do a good deed, I’ll open the window and I’ll shout, ‘Take off the backyards!’ and he’s answering me, ‘Let’s go you naked!’ When I looked at it, I realized that these were bright blue shoes.

I sit in the bathroom, the acoustic is good. I hear the conversation of the neighbors from the upper floor. Female voice: "Have you already caught all the cucumbers?". It was terrible to live.

From the Fire:

There is a cat. The cat weighs 10 kilograms.
There is a bed. The bed has a high soft back with a width of 10-15 centimeters.
And there are owners of cats who sleep on this bed.

At night, the cat jumps on the back of the bed and walks on it. The cat has a night shift. But since the cat in the past life was a cow and some features transferred to the present incarnation, on the fourth or fifth walk it loses balance and crumbles down.
If I'm lucky, the cat falls by. If I’m not lucky, ten kilograms of cat land on my head, and for some reason it’s always my ass.

Remember, there was a song in the plasma lab?
Something about the plasma...
1: Oh you...

And we don’t dream of the thunder of a plasmatron,
Not plasma ice blue.
We dream of a simple bunch of ions.
A simple permanent curve.

I remember studying at school, it was long ago. When I got sick, I was at home. Doing anything other than tapping on the TV while lying in bed was impossible. The channels were not broadcast well. The daily broadcast was a jealous depression. Here is happiness! A foreign film is coming. The plot is as follows: a man must be served in a bowl, in the hospital he is taken to a special office for such cases. But he can not teenage, because it prevents him from concentrating on the deer who watches him from the painting. The man looks at the deer, the deer at the man and the erection disappears. With a man. So many years have passed and I have never known the title of the film. and cannot be found. I am very worried about what ended there. I couldn’t check. Tell me the name.

A colleague in the office calls a partner company. We have been working with this company for a long time, there are so-called "your Koreans". Next P - partner, O - office:

Q: Good afternoon, company "*****"
A: Denis and hello. How to Succeed? 7
p: * with notes of confusion" ahem, all well...
Oh, you, you don’t know me, you don’t know me.
P: A, the cattle is now on vacation, it’s his partner.
Dennis, is it also Dennis?

We have a small company for 20 people, according to this toilet one for all the type of room. Room Big, beautiful, but here the toilet paper the designer decided to hang 10 cm from the tank behind the back of the sitting. This is the question that the designer's hands grow out of his ass, or the boss so hints on us...