bezdna.su — the best quotes and jokes from the abyss!



[ + 28 - ] Comment quote №149262
 22.02.2018
In the spring and summer, it is a free flight.
A lot of ideas...
And do not regret spices (pack a mixture of herbs 5 rubles in ashan, but if the luxury of branches again in the forest and on the fields).

You would be quieter! Now, do not give god, who of the deputies will read and all, the statistics are ready that you can live for 7000 rubles. and pensions.

[ + 56 - ] Comment quote №149261
 22.02.2018

xxx: Furniture in the "Alphabet".
xxx: An elderly lady in a decent nork coat, with a cup of cabbage in her hands. On the face of the lady is written a complete misunderstanding.
“Sorry,” said the lady, “Do you see what I see?” 350 grams of young cabbage cost 450 rubles?
- That is, I confirm, having studied the valuer.
“Don’t think,” said the lady, “that I see badly, or that I’m mad. There are just emotional experiences that are difficult to go through alone.

XXX: Today will be the phrase of the day.

[ + 22 - ] Comment quote №149260
 22.02.2018
I can’t hide my age, right? Paint the gray, run on the lifts of everything that is possible, smash the "rejuvenating", cuddly hide the date of birth, respond exclusively to the "girl"?
I am an adult who has lived in the world not 18 years, but twice as long. I am much smarter than I am at eighteen, I have more experience, my judgments are more mature, I am, after all, a valuable expert. Why should I pretend to be a girl? Why do men think losing 10 years of age is a compliment? Why do other women hate to scream, “Don’t talk to yourself, you don’t look at your 36!”

[ + 27 - ] [2 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №149259
 22.02.2018
>> And what about those fat naked women who think everyone owes them something? How to call them?

And the lean naked babes who < further on the text>? Or is it forgiveness?

[ + 25 - ] [1 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №149258
 22.02.2018
>>> Men please don’t do that. Do not listen to the shit, please! Do not support bad stereotypes that an adult woman is embarrassing, and we are all girls up to retirement, hihihi.

Getting Old and Beautiful
I want when the time comes.
At 64, it was early.
Thinking about that shit.

[ + 23 - ] Comment quote №149257
 22.02.2018
Oh, I’ll never forget the girls from the classroom I was in 15 years ago. It was something outstanding. Preparing for February 23, girls are advised what to buy for boys. The meeting constantly clashes on the topic of “Let’s decide what we need to give on March 8 and check that the boys buy it for us as a gift.”

[ + 18 - ] Comment quote №149256
 22.02.2018
Is it so?!!!! You, wisely, well, you quickly found me a husband who will keep me! You can accommodate any of your employees, but not drinking and eating less. Or, fucking with the eyes, stumbled onto the crab, raised the salary of the unmarried. No matter who works, of course. Do you pay the “gentlemen” for poverty, so you’ve forgotten about the rest?

No wonder there is no husband. In Russia, such marriages are prohibited.

By the way. I was married. Only my husband does not "contain" me. She smelled like sweet and earned spending "on family". Divorced - personally could spend significantly more with the same salary.

[ + 28 - ] Comment quote №149255
 22.02.2018
It was meant that such relationships, where a girl is physically stronger than a guy, are possible only in the movie, like this. In the real world, this is impossible.

In the real world, such relationships are more than. Guilty people don’t argue about such a hernia, unlike you.

[ + 45 - ] Comment quote №149254
 22.02.2018
My wife loves to embrace our pets. And again "blowing" a cat.
I: I should have called the cat Lola
J : Why?
I: I would scream "run, Lola, run!"

Suitable for the dog.

I: And that should have been called Forrest...

[ + 38 - ] Comment quote №149253
 22.02.2018
xh: on the hill set a pillar with a sign "running on sandwiches is prohibited"
Xh: The people broke the tablet, and ride on it.
Yy: It is logical that.

[ + 24 - ] Comment quote №149252
 22.02.2018
What do you think:
People who say they have been eating bits for years because they are broken to clean the potatoes and wash the bowl.
- and people who a couple of months ago cried "homework is a myth, I manage to cook and clean in 15 minutes a day."
Are they the same comrades?

[ + 25 - ] Comment quote №149251
 22.02.2018
Good programmers invent the bicycle, bad ones invent the bicycle without a saddle, and we invent the grabletopor.

[ + 17 - ] Comment quote №149250
 22.02.2018
The wife herself is the same: no matter how much I earn – she is always dissatisfied with my salary, always trying to take some of her hoodies.
I am not happy with relationships in the family. I am disappointed in women, even those who are not my wife.

So, before asking for equal pay, learn, first of all, to stop spending your husband’s money, and spend yours wisely, live on your own, feed your children on their own, give gifts to your husband.
I believe that the salary of an employee should depend not on his qualifications and productivity, but on the fact that I do not like his social group (to which I do not belong, but know absolutely everything about it).
As a boss, I have to know where my subordinates are spending their salary and regulate these issues. I am absolutely sure that half of the country’s working population spends money exactly the same way and wrongly.
I demand that women be paid fundamentally less, but they bear the same costs as men. It is possible, logical and fair.

>> Men are paid more because they hold families.
>> What a husband should earn for housing, food and children. You are for what?
I’m paying men more to keep their family alive. But I don’t understand why they should do this if there are women.

>> Before asking others something, try to understand yourself, “What am I doing wrong? How can I improve it?”
Ask yourself: "Why should I not think with my head?"

[ + 19 - ] Comment quote №149249
 22.02.2018
Just a palace with black cheeks

What if you choose between a cleaner and a prostitute?

The work of cleaners in the world of single-use things is greatly underestimated both financially and in relation to them society. True, this is a more global problem than cleaning in a separate location.
The work of the prostitute is highly overstated.

[ + 34 - ] Comment quote №149248
 22.02.2018
I don’t understand, do you have some good words on the billboards?

Men, call ‘girls’ all those who appear not to be grandmothers, and call ‘grandmothers’ women. When you become a grandfather, you can also call your grandmothers girls.

Girls, congratulations to 23 of all defenders - former, future and potential, you will not be missing! And don’t give us, God, war and a universal call, so that in practice we can find out who is the defender and who is not.


[ + 33 - ] Comment quote №149247
 22.02.2018
~> How to "break the template", or "break the template"?

It depends on the material from which the pattern is made.

[ + 25 - ] Comment quote №149246
 22.02.2018
#Rhythmology

>>> You’re going to get a big deal.

I have a bowl, prepare something.

[ + 42 - ] Comment quote №149245
 22.02.2018
Last winter I was driving to work in another city, it took almost a day to go, so I decided to take a full SV to be able to prepare on the road.

The guide was also presented with 2 tickets and until the night everything was fine - I laid out the laptop and documents throughout the coupe and the trip. At 11 o’clock in the evening I gathered and began to prepare fairy tales and just at that moment they knocked on the door.

Opened, a woman aged 35-40 with a child aged 6-8. I ask what she needs and I get this answer: "We guides allowed you to sleep at night with us men booze in a couch." I say that I am very happy, but I cannot support such an initiative and I close the door.

About 5 minutes later I knock on the door again, ignore it and then it opens, as I realized the conductor opened it with his key. Previous guests and guides. Well, I told him, and he doesn’t want us to let go.

P - Man, you must let a woman sleep at night in her couch, the child cannot sleep there, the men do not sleep there.

I - well, in the first I owe nothing to anyone, and in the second, solve the problem with those men I am here? And what hero do you open my door without my permission?

P - According to the rules we can transfer the passenger to free seats, enter woman. Aunt begins to climb into the door I do not leave the passage, and since I am a guy not small to climb through she could not. Then the child began to sneeze in front of him, but he also just nodded his head at my swallow.

Let it pass! The conductor told you everything.

I have the right to transfer you to the vacant seats, but I have both seats purchased. Q. But it’s still free, why don’t you want to let the woman go? ! to I - Well probably because I specifically paid to drive without companions and let anyone not intend.

Look at him, he paid. My child can't sleep, and he can't share a free place! I will call the police!

I - Call, I just then go down to the train boss and learn from him about the conductor's actions.

And then the conductor starts to fuse sharply with the words, "Well, you see he doesn't want to listen, let me go to you in my bed."

I close the door and I hear the phrase, “You are depriving my child of sleep! I will not leave it so! “”

No one bothered me until the very end, only the driver with a goat face returned the tickets.

[ + 36 - ] Comment quote №149244
 22.02.2018
Wife with parents. The duty to drive the child to kindergarten now lies on me.

Two days in a row, the alarm signal on the phone fell asleep to take him to the garden. I have not seen anything like this before.

Today I understood what it was about.

I went to bed at night with a serious mood not to sleep. As soon as the alarm sounded, I exploded into the best traditions of army rise.

And what I see: this stick is already on the phone (how does he manage to wake up before the alarm clock? ! ) and the guard. As soon as the alarm was turned on, he immediately turned it off by stepping his finger across the screen and ran into his room.



Everyone has their own methods of fighting.

[ + 30 - ] Comment quote №149243
 22.02.2018
In mid-2012 the company was under the threat of bankruptcy, the situation was aggravated by numerous legal claims of creditors to pay about 200 million rubles of debt.

As a result, the debt was repayed by exchanging it for discs with products.

For the first time in my life, I have compassion for creditors.

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