bezdna.su — the best quotes and jokes from the abyss!



[ + 52 - ] Comment quote №15353
 23.03.2009
In the store I said:
Give me Morse.
Which one?
The Miracle Morse.
I take it, I go out of the box, followed by a boy in fun:
- Give me two "Cats" "The Wonders of the Beast".

[ + 43 - ] Comment quote №15352
 23.03.2009
I saw porn, there my aunt took the telephone of the unconnected phone, the frame was blinking and the inscription appeared "Yes, we know that the phone is unconnected. This is porn, get used to it"

[ + 79 - ] [1 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №15351
 23.03.2009
You will not invent.
This story really happened to me two years ago in the spring. I stood on the platform, waiting for the electric car, holding in my hand an empty drinking bottle from under the coke because I fell a few meters to the urn to pull. Here passes by, without rushing, a long-distance passenger train, and a few meters from me flies out of the window a bottle of the same coke, barely hitting some grandfather on the platform. My padonkoff reflexes worked instantly and I targeted my bottle into that window. Schröder and the regiment would give up just to see the reaction of that passenger.

[ + 43 - ] Comment quote №15350
 23.03.2009
Which gas is more funny: "funny" or "happy"?

[ + 56 - ] Comment quote №15349
 23.03.2009
As they say - "every creature by pair..."
When I find this creature...

[ + 43 - ] Comment quote №15348
 23.03.2009
We had one burnt roll in CS. His name was Ulitko-Killer, so he was always moving with a tight shift.

[ + 49 - ] Comment quote №15347
 23.03.2009
The xxx:
Are you naked?

YYYY :
Well now I’m in the shorts short and down there is nothing!!! to

The xxx:
Are there no legs?? to

[ + 54 - ] Comment quote №15346
 23.03.2009
I was sitting in the hospital today, in a row, there some little girl (probably for a year) passed the UFO (such a tube with green light sows into the nose and mouth) She was wildly crying, but the most terrible thing started when her tube was thrown into her mouth... She was crying at her... It was the crying of the wanderer’s gift for the entire hospital) With the same success you can cry in the tube of the enabled vacuum cleaner.

[ + 50 - ] Comment quote №15345
 23.03.2009
It is sold!! Driving dogs (4x2) The colour of "Tundra" Two days of labyrinth. Totally dismantled. State "sell and purged". It comes from a half-piece. It holds the winter perfectly. All twists: flooring of foil skins, bells, whistles. Treatment is carried out by wreath. Review of 2006. Real consumption: 8 kg of bones per 100 km. The oil almost doesn’t eat (not like). No trip to Moscow. A box of fireworks + a bottle of petroleum + a pack of salt.

[ + 63 - ] Comment quote №15344
 23.03.2009
from ZH:

I like to stand on the ladder from below and look at the deck under the shirt.
yyy: hey, you're not alone))) I sometimes walk in a shirt without underwear in the summer, and then on the escalator I mock, sharply cooking my head back - so much confusion and sharp upswing of heads went somewhere))) and I am funny)))
zzz: Which station is this????????????????????????? to

[ + 60 - ] Comment quote №15343
 23.03.2009
xxx (10:19:49 20/03/2009)
Are you so damaged?

yyy (10:21:14 20/03/2009)
Why are you so informal?

yyy (10:21:34 20/03/2009)
It’s like asking why the sun is shining.

yyy (10:21:44 20/03/2009)
Or: Why is it raining?

xxx (10:22:32 20/03/2009)
The sun shines because there are thermonuclear reactions and hydrogen is converted into helium. They happen with a huge amount of energy. Here it shines.

xxx (10:23:14 20/03/2009)
Rain comes because when the temperature drops, the moisture in the air condenses and falls to the ground due to rainfall. Here he goes.

xxx (10:23:30 20/03/2009)
Are you so damaged?

[ + 58 - ] Comment quote №15342
 23.03.2009
I need to make a mouthpiece for the ears.
Why Why?
- Imagine people sitting, working, and this time - a mask show, a crowd of rabbits and whites with machines.
- Then the commander needs the ears of Cheburaška, so that it is immediately clear who is the chief here.

[ + 41 - ] Comment quote №15341
 23.03.2009
I think it’s time to go home until there’s no stop in the subway.
Are you already in the metro?? to
yyy: This is the type, the machinery drivers go out into the fork and say: "Where do you put the cattle?"
xxx: "buy the rights to the subway and drive"
yyy: "Look at the trunk, this is a jump to suck in order to drive on such an electric train"
xxx: Oh and here past the station, carrying people, a train with blue beacons is in full motion
Tagged: ussssss

[ + 62 - ] Comment quote №15340
 23.03.2009
xxx(22:06:07 20/03/2009)
How to calm a guy?? to
yyy(22:07:41 20/03/2009)
Listen to understand and then fuck.

[ + 11 - ] Comment quote №15339
 23.03.2009


The desire to speak is always stronger than the desire to listen, for when you listen,
The will has to think.
http://aforizmi.narod.ru

[ + 33 - ] Comment quote №15338
 23.03.2009
http://raketchik.livejournal.com/63038.html

The story of the goose. Unpleasant but morally instructive.

Neighbors on the site went somewhere to rest and picked up the goat there. The Wild,
With a broken wing and leg. Vichy says that the goose at all to them alone
has gone out. The guy was looking for help. Because I came, and if I did not get it,
and all. Or whoever would eat. There are few wishing.

They brought him to the veterinarian. The veterinarian has done everything.
X-rays there, fluorography, ultrasound, gastroscopy, coronary shunting,
whitening of teeth, in full, shorter. Pneumatic Pneumatics, Tyres
He was imposed, and the doctor of the goose said that the goose would recover, not a question, but
Unfortunately, he will never fly again. There is something irreparable.
The wing.

Okay well. They returned with the goose and took care of it.
He is healed. Bands to do, lotions there, feed, drink,
shave and shave, all short, as the doctor prescribed.

Our neighbors are such an exemplary family. Natasha with Natalia
People themselves are very pleasant. We are not friends, but we communicate.
So, on the holidays, or just sit and talk. Two children, as
is set. The older boy and the girl went to the first class.

And they have a dog, a Siberian hamster, Jack. Natural, they are from the north.
They came when they worked there. The ugly creation, by the way.

No, that’s what I’m talking about the ugly. It costs us at the same time.
The door to the apartment to open as he throws on our Dasha. This is like and
a girl, and twice as much as him, and badly, she never
Nothing has done. But there was something I didn’t like. And she looks at him.
Always so surprised. He goes straight out of himself. And a couple of times.
Stretched tightly, until procured ears and sewing seams.

We even had to establish such a custom: before opening the door (no
only when walking with the dog, and generally, the dogs are always in the hallway
It’s hard, especially if someone comes and leaves, you need to open up a little bit.
Crying out loudly “We’re out!”

What is characteristic. As I said later, when we were there.
The robberies stopped, the robberies stopped, the robberies stopped.
The elevator and writing on the walls. No, right, if you pretend, two
family, seven people, two dogs, there, a couple of dozen times a day
Definitely does. Come, sit in the elevator and write, and someone will tell you.
“We’re going out!” – No pleasure, I think.

No, but for people, and in general, Jack is a very good dog. and sweet,
Educated and pleasant. Whole white, hair thickening, Natashka
the cleanliness is impaired, so it does not smell and washes the legs after walking
by Sam. A very good dog, short. Well, fucking a bit, and who without it?

And so, then, this whole big friendly family has become a goose caring.
And Jack, too. Animals have their own understanding, too.
Who can eat, and when to know the honor. Jack, as well as
No one showed attention and attention to the goose. Because, who is in
Someone goes to school and Jack is always at home. He has swallowed,
He fixed his bandage, allowed him to drink from his bowl and put him to sleep with him.
on the substrate. And all, in general, during this period, only about the goose and talked.
What was the temperature of the goose when the bandage was made, and how he is today
The mood. Even I, representing any goose no different than in the oven,
When I went into the case, I first asked “Well? “How is my patient?”
Even to myself disgusting.

Well, and for a long time, shortly, the goose healed. Only a wing, as he promised.
The doctor remains unfit, although nothing is visible from the outside. and
Where is this goose? You’re not going to drive them out on the street? And he remained with them.
Live as a full member of the family.

Soon it became clear that, along with improper repairs,
The wing of the goose has the same non-repairable, extremely ugly
of character.

In what was it expressed? Well, what he wasted wherever and when he came, is
As of course. You can’t teach the bird to the bowl. It was created,
Honestly, it seems like he did it intentionally. Here we sit.
At the table, in the room, eat there, or drink there. All is well. The dog in
A goose in the kitchen. Then suddenly the door opens and he cries.
and overflowing. “Hello, goose!” and “Hello. on the carpet.
He turns, turns, and goes back to the kitchen. Natasha, right away
He runs there to clean it all, and the seats seem to be sinked.

Well, I repeat, nothing can be tolerated. the other. Husky appeared
Very aggressive and obsessive. At the time he was sick and
He came to himself, and they all followed him as a child and were afraid of him.
to breathe, he seemed to think that he was here as the king, and the others so,
Damn to clean it. He began to strike everyone.

Children’s legs are shuffled – you can’t pass by. And the adults. If you whisper
It begins to squeeze and throw. Most importantly, it is not open, but
The underdog. Take the girl for her naked leg. She is crying. and CHO
Do you do? Do you know how goats bite? Oh go!

But the most affected was Jack. People again,
Not always at home. Jack is the same. Clay – I do not want. It is clear that such
The wool won't go through just like that, but it doesn't matter who's happy if you're his.
He licked out, licked out, and he nodded, write up. And again, to do
Nothing can. Jack will bite. Tom needs that. Give him wings.
by Mordor. Do you know how the goats fight their wings? Look at the
the case. A pigeon will hit the wing - and that is unpleasant. And the goose has wings,
The fighting weapon.

In short, life in a well-equipped and cozy house because of this goose
It slowly turned into an unbearable form. The girl is crying,
Vitya runs with a knife for a goose, Natashka runs with a vacuum cleaner for Vitya,
Jack jumps and cries on everyone, the goose sits quietly in the kitchen.
The refrigerator. Then everyone will calm down, because of the refrigerator.
He will come out, the dog will be bitten on the way, he will come into the room, and in the middle of the carpet.
to settle.

I, seeing this case, one day, Vite, smoked on the site, I say, let me
I shake his neck, listen. Nor can it. I know you have principles.
It was like he came out on his head. I have no principles.
I turn painlessly. Chick and not there. And no one will know. I will not even tell my own.
Missed and disappeared. He flew to warm countries.

So I was sorry to watch Vitu that I was ready to go.
The crime. It’s like smoking a cigarette: what are you? What are you! This is
Consider a family member! How can you!

No, you do not want, as you want. Live as you know. Violet, I turned
I went to work early and returned at midnight.
Children are in the yard all the time. No one goes home anymore. A little girl here.
He disappeared, and his legs appeared to be bitten.

Such a terrorist has grown up on his own head. And do nothing.
can be.

And one day it all ended. Natasha came from work, the children came from work.
The court as usual. Natasha: “Gulya, goya!” and there is no goya.

He goes into the kitchen, rolls the bow, and the neck is eaten. Jack is good.
He lies in the hallway and closes his mouth. A tired dog can see everything.
He suffered, suffered, suffered, suffered and suffered.
People are so shitty.

This is the story, yes. And the conclusions are moral teaching you yourself. by Sami.

[ + 33 - ] Comment quote №15337
 23.03.2009
A girl can easily cool her boyfriend's dust, too persistently
Seeking sex. Repair it a few times and replace it.
The word “sex” in the word “conception”
by anekdoton.ru

[ + 44 - ] Comment quote №15336
 23.03.2009
Spring is almost entering its rights! prepare flashes, soon in the subway will appear again decolte with different sizes inside

[ + 62 - ] Comment quote №15335
 23.03.2009
Hello, how are you doing?
Pacha: no, fucking something I run, already 4 times in the evening, to see, I ate the wrong thing (
Sasha is Shaurma? It happens, activated charcoal prime if poisoning, even better sorbeks, well and smecta there, Festal, phthalazole, all the shit.
Domestic mushrooms did not eat by chance or sausage? Did you drink raw eggs?
Pasha: no, just pizza and shaurma, the ass is already hurt))))
Come on, you guys, get treated!
I had a case... in the summer. They all left my house and left me in town for a week. I decided to shake the oak. Stir a whole pot! All the way - on serum, with pieces of smoked chicken, cucumbers, potatoes, eggs, etc. But somewhere broke...Hidden a plate – it was delicious! But the fucking run to the toilet and the diarrhea is unhealthy! Fuck - and the okroška is delicious and its whole pot on me alone! So I had two days of fucking and fucking... it was fucking...

[ + 52 - ] Comment quote №15334
 23.03.2009
In the photo of a man with a 12 string guitar, here is one of the comments: "Here you need unrealistic abilities, the fingers are 6, and the string is 12, my brain hardly understands this=)))"
I miss my fingers.

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