In contact with the girl’s status "what would you do if you knew I was dead?"
The first response on the wall: "I would remove from friends"

The freelance website.

Customer: We recruit a team of writing people - payment for re-ride - 10 rubles / 1000 characters without gaps.
Freelancer: For 10 rubles, I am ready to provide texts of this type - if it is appropriate, write in person, I guarantee from 100,000 characters per day. Unique at 95 percent.

from ZH:

I am a little boy.
In what sense is it small? ? ? What kind of growth are you? ?
180 to 70/27
27 is age or...?
I am short, I say right away. 27 - the age

I’m recently in the electric car, a lady sitting next to me guessing a scanword. It’s boring, so I regularly monitor what’s happening.
A simple question - "the headdress of the desant" - the word of five letters, the second and fourth "e" have already been guessed... A short brainstorm and the lady confidently fits the answer - "CHAIR".

Freakin'_Madness: Sometimes I am visited by the thought that the phrase "do not make of the fly an elephant" in modern, cynical interpretation should sound like "do not blow out of the hondon aircraft",and no other.

During the Vietnam War, an American recruiter made a “Fuck You” tattoo on the side of the middle finger of his right hand. The tattoo was only seen when giving honor, so the appeal commission rejected it.

--------
Take revenge!

I was really scared by the X-ray doctor today.
YYY: what
xxx: says the device sometimes runs, and if it screams, then close your eyes and run sharply to the exit :)
yyy: =))))))))))
XXX: Something really happened to me.
and there was the thought of running immediately after "instructional" O_o
YYY : :D

To be a goat to your friends, it is enough to be their boss.

From the news: "Astrakhan Mayor Sergey Bogenov intends to call men from other regions as a workforce and to improve the demographic situation"

I don’t know, I’m fucking named. O_O

Remember that black day.
thepiratebay.org was closed 24.08.2009 at 19.00 (MSK).
The bastion of freedom fell.
The difficult times begin.

K to:

And how long can you hold your teeth on a regular round bakery without biting or swallowing it, right?

XDDDDDDDDDDDD
__________________________________________________________________________

The Fucks!! I hate you!!! to

37 minutes and 21 seconds. It is fucking!! to

I go to the club.
Which club?
XH: the usual
Is it dancing?
Oh yeah, I’m saying the usual.
WOW: Just normal for me is a computer.

I go to the doctor. Uncle forty years.
He looked at me and whispered to the nurse:
Natasha, long live, thank you God.
She closes her mouth with a palm. Eyes for five copies.
and exactly? Is it really him? No any mistake?
He is
They both stand up in front of me humbly. And loudly with a single voice:
The Abyss of the Century!! to

They sit down and say half as if nothing has happened.
You have an abscess of the right age.

Isn’t it a cock?

When I was a tester, the head of the department was involved 2 weeks ago (at the time), half of the working time is now spent on him, instead of chips. The remaining half for "communicating with players in order to identify desires"

Sitting means playing in the wool. Here the general enters the cabinet and slowly passes by the shoulder of the boss (he did not notice it). And five minutes standing, watching how he plays in the WoW.
So the boss turned, raised his head up, and for three seconds looked at the general. He looks, looks and says to himself:
And I’m here, yeah, testing the quests system for our "mmorpg" project. Well, you know, we also have such a system, here I look like them, that would not be worse with us, here.
What Gender reasonably notices: something you've been testing for a long time, 25 lives already))

Are you a shark?
Not the keyboard!

The case was in the distant youth, when separation was a dream.
With a friend decided to race...through the modem)
The only downside is that he did not understand how to connect and generally how to create a network game. Well, I had to go to him and do everything myself: open the HyperTerminal, call, wait for a call, run a network game, set up the track, choose the character and the color of the motorcycle... I ran often, all the time something he didn't get that he wanted... well lived through the 2nd floor.
And then came the moment when everything was ready and it was necessary to press "Ready", then put some box and in n-second the game will start.
And he doesn’t catch her, the bastard is like that. I raise the phone, though there is noise and noise that there is strength:
Click on "Ready" and click on"!! to
I put a phone. Jumping out message: "John is out of the game."
It didn’t take a minute for me to break into the entrance. I open the entrance, and there my friend, Zhenya, with a shaken look says:
Archie, I could talk to you!! to

I attended a lecture on anatomy. I had to do a nephig, well, I went to a friend from the biofak, and he had anatomy, the first couple in the semester, a new undergraduate. And here comes a dry old lady, well, as it should be, greeting everyone, making a call, and then declares, "And now remember one thing - the largest member I have! "The whole audience, 150 people, dies in shock. And this, after an impressive pause, adds "In the museum!". It turned out that he had a member stored in the anatomical museum, not a mammoth, not someone else... well, in short, his grandfather clung.

Advertising of funds:
On the screen are two minors between the ages of 14 and 15. One complains about the other. The second gives out: "Try Clearance. 85% of readers of the magazine Glamour confirmed that it helps.
_________________________________________________________

I knew that the foundation of the Glamour readers are acne minors =)

Humor does not contain.
It contains a warning!
people who have read a quote about dietite colas, as a sperm-killing agent and a contraceptive: Don't think about trying!!!!!!!!!!! to
I am a urologist, my father is a gynecologist, we work in one place. There are often young people who have done so. This is how: boys have the beginning stage of skin cancer, girls also have the same + uterine cancer!
Although I get money from clients, it’s really a pity to look at young couples!
Do not think!! I repeat!! to

The cat, the one, the shredder, the Chuck Norris, the guy with the dollars...

From official correspondence:

Mikhail, your programmer has a status in asskoe - "Lyckaju junkcode". Can we expect the project to be successful?